AIBU: people calling it peri-menopause instead of menopause

[Joyful26]

ok firstly I know that technically you are in peri-menopause, then the menopause itself is literally the day your period stops altogether- then after that one moment in time you are post-menopausal.

But people always calling it peri-menopause is clearly to indicate that they are actually still really young and nowhere near the menopause itself yet.

I think that’s why it grates on me so much. Because on the one hand they’re championing the issues that affect women etc, but at the same time making it clear that they themselves are actually very young and youthful- yet not afraid to mention these issues.

for what it’s worth I can’t be bothered faux-impressing anyone and I just call it the menopause.

but every single one of my friends calls it peri-menopause or they’re simply’peri’. We’re all mid 40s.

just saw someone on LinkedIn purporting to do a Women’s rights post, someone in her 50s commented about the menopause, and the original poster replied but talked about peri-menopause.

AIBU or a people who call it peri-menopause just a bit vain? 😅

It was fine for you but sometimes you need medication. That’s like saying my periods are fine, we shouldn’t medicalise them, I have 4 day periods that aren’t painful, periods are normal

I'm 39 and after getting checked out because my periods started becoming a bit irregular (8 days late on one occasion), the GP told me that my bloods indicated that I'm in peri menopause. It's a medical term. I can assure you that I don't say that for vanity reasons. FWIW I seem to be further along in the process now because a recent period was around two weeks late, then two weeks after it finished, the next one turned up!

I mean… good for you? Very happy for you.
For some people, menopause can be absolutely debilitating. Why not just be grateful that you’re was fine, rather than criticising those who struggled for talking about it?

Apologies @BugJuice , I wasn't criticising anyone, & I do understand that some women really suffer. I meant, in general, it's just a part of life.

Having a baby at 45 is a bold choice 😳 I'll give you that - you might possibly be an outlier or a bullshitter, it's not unheard of . Anyway , well done you 👍.

I'm not sure what an outlier is, lol, but not bullshitting! We'd tried for our last one for years. :-)

YABU.

If you said menopause instead of peri, I'd assume you had stopped having periods and were further in to the process than me.

That came off more sarcastic than I intended, apologies 😘. I meant that it's not that usual to have a child so late specifically because of the approaching menopause and dealing with a baby/toddler/child/teen in those circumstances would be hell for most people.
But obviously not for you, which makes you unusual (an outlier) and very lucky.

I'm 54 and still menstruating regularly, therefore not yet menopausal, so why would I say that I am? It's pretty clear given my age that I'm in peri-menopause of course, but I certainly wasn't when I was in my 40s.

I do roll my eyes when a woman in her late 30s or early 40s blames peri for every little thing!

So, because you do this (incorrectly), you think everyone should.

OK then

I'm sure someone has already said this (unusually for me I haven't read the full thread yet but I will later) but perimenopause can last for seven to ten years from the first onset of symptoms. The average age for the final period is 51 and so the mid-40s are classic perimenopause time. It certainly was for me; I started having symptoms at 44.

I'm nearly 70 and in the not too distant past the whole process was simply called the Menopause. It meant the start of irregular periods which may be much lighter or heavier, hot flushes, trouble sleeping, anxiety and mood swings amongst a whole host of other symptoms. It could start anywhere from around the age of 40 with periods stopping altogether at around the early 50's. After a year of no periods you were assumed to be post-menopausal. And before anyone flames me, I am fully aware that the term peri-menopause was coined in a fairly obscure American medical publication in 1962 but trust me when I say that beyond that nobody had ever heard of it. In fact nobody I knew in the mid 1990's (when I was myself going through the menopause) used the term, including doctors.

This. I was all oh "its nothing I will breeze through it" when i had just had a few hot flushes until mine kicked off with a 30 day bleed and then dizziness so bad, my GP thought it might be neurological.

mine did.

There's lots of normal things in life that benefit from being medicalised. I spent 15 years medicalising my periods with various combinations prescription pain relief and contraception because that was better than being in my natural state of being doubled up, incapacitated with pain on a frequent basis. At least when I was at a similar pain state in well into my back to back labours, I was on a hospital bed and not expected to crack on with life and occasionally having the odd twat judging me for not functioning with a normal biological process when the pain level was about 7cm with a stuck baby.

I was still functioning before starting HRT (and ironically the periods are a world better than they were in my youth) but it's great that a boost to my baseline of oestrogen has eased off near constant aching and muscle tension, and my mood/ energy is much more cheery throughout the month after 5-6 years of gradually fading off. I've got my bounce back.

Medicalisation can be great for quality of life.

Oddly it's not a concept that men tend to get too hung up on. While many can be reluctant to seek medical advice in the first place, they do tend to be keen to take advantage of medical care once past that hump.

What do you mean by 'medicalise'? Treat with medication?

It might be a normal part of life, but that doesn't mean it's easy or straightforward for everyone. I entered perimenopause at 41 and it hit me like a tonne of bricks. The night sweats were the least of my issues. My mental health went crazy. I've always been susceptible to hormone related mental health issues (horrendous late puberty, postnatal anxiety and depression so severe I was almost hospitalised) so it was pretty obvious to me what the cause was. I am very glad I persisted with my GP that I didn't want medication for anxiety and depression but instead wanted HRT. It's made a world of difference. I'm not going to blow my life up now, kill myself or divorce my husband - all things which were genuine possibilities before I started HRT. The nights sweats have also lessoned and my periods are regular again but that's not the bits that bothered me at all.

It means turn things that are normal parts of life in to things which need medical intervention. Funnily, it's almost exclusively female related things (birth, periods, menopause) which are accused of becoming over medicalised and not mens issues.

Peri menopause isn’t menopause. It can last for years! YABU.

It probably won't earn me any friends but I think we medicalise birth too much at times too. My most straightforward births were the ones where I wasn't wired up to machines etc., no pethidine or blocks, & just got ON with it.
Note - I am talking about NORMAL, straightforward births, before anyone bites my head off!

Oh dear OP

Back to the classroom for you.

Surely you weren’t wired up to machines etc because they were straightforward?
I had two straightforward births, no machines, no pain relief bar gas and air.
For my third, I had to be wired up to machines because the baby was in distress. It wasn’t the machines that caused the difficulties 🤷🏻‍♀️

I apologise for not RTFT. I’m 52 and for 25+ years up until 18 months ago I had been on the mini-pill and never had a period in that time. I then hit the full on rage, sweats, depression, anxiety, and so on. Got prescribed HRT and moved on to the Mirena. Still no periods experienced.

I am slightly calmer and relaxed these days (not sure if DH would agree mind you), so what stage am I at? Sometimes I feel a bit PMT esq, but that’s infrequent and I have no bleeds to confirm ‘where I am’ so to speak.

Looking back (and without having periods), I prob had meno symptoms from around 47/48 ish.

I know I sound like a numpty (and prob am), but how would I/you class me in terms of my menopause journey? Apologies again, I understand peri and have family and friends in that situation, but no one I know has had the same experience as me. Tx

You could still be peri or you could be post menopause. No way to know really! I don't get periods either because of the mirena so I don't know how we tell when we are post menopausal or if it really matters. Maybe I'll keep saying I'm peri until I'm 75 to seem younger and annoy the women on this thread 😂

I am in the throws of peri-menopause. I know that because the doctors keep telling me I can’t be as I’m (according to them) too young at 37….