AIBU: people calling it peri-menopause instead of menopause

[Joyful26]

ok firstly I know that technically you are in peri-menopause, then the menopause itself is literally the day your period stops altogether- then after that one moment in time you are post-menopausal.

But people always calling it peri-menopause is clearly to indicate that they are actually still really young and nowhere near the menopause itself yet.

I think that’s why it grates on me so much. Because on the one hand they’re championing the issues that affect women etc, but at the same time making it clear that they themselves are actually very young and youthful- yet not afraid to mention these issues.

for what it’s worth I can’t be bothered faux-impressing anyone and I just call it the menopause.

but every single one of my friends calls it peri-menopause or they’re simply’peri’. We’re all mid 40s.

just saw someone on LinkedIn purporting to do a Women’s rights post, someone in her 50s commented about the menopause, and the original poster replied but talked about peri-menopause.

AIBU or a people who call it peri-menopause just a bit vain? 😅

What do you find yourself doing with the extra second it takes to say peri? 🙄

I’m 50 and I refer to it as Peri Menopause because I’m still having regular periods. I have the symptoms. I have symptoms coming out of my unbearably itchy ears. But I’m not menopausal. I say Peri not because of vanity (I’m not kidding anyone, least of all myself) but because it’s important to use the correct terminology. Failure to do so is the reason we have people wandering about not knowing the difference between vulvas and vaginas.

Fucking vanity! 🙄

When do you find yourself thinking that though?

I find it really odd that someone might look at my grey hair and the fact that I'm 50 and decide that I'm lying about being in peri menopause.

Why would you call peri menopause, menopause? They are two totally different biological stages in a woman's life?

We differentiate pre-teens and teenagers. We differentiate early labour and active labour, we differentiate terminal illness and life limiting illness - this is just another one of those type of distinctions.

Peri and menopause, whilst linked, are not the same thing?

I don't think anyone attributes "everything" to perimenopause. Of course people don't want to hear about women's suffering. We're supposed to keep going no matter what - the machines aren't supposed to break, man!

Literally nobody sane is thinking that. 🤦‍♀️ Some of these posters seem to be suggesting that being perimenopausal of all things gives you street cred or sex appeal or something, as though it's not something all women go through. It's like thinking "having a vagina" is impressive.

This is a baffling AIBU, truly

How weird to assume that someone saying they are in perimenopause is trying to sound young and cool.

Fucking weird.

I think if I was going to lie about something to make myself sound young and cool it wouldn't be menstruating. It would be a 20 minute 5k time or being able to do the splits.

Some people do though. I can't remember which celebrity it was but they were claiming to be in peri menopause at 58!!

58! That's post menopausal territory. Sorry but it is very rare for women still to be menstruating at that age.

Either they don't understand what menopause is or it is for some other reason.

Jeez, I'm not saying ALL women but a few certainly do.

Why is that observation being denied?

It's no big deal anyway, like it bemused me, not offended me.

The observation is being queried because it's such an odd one. You have no idea if this celebrity was post menopausal, you've just decided they are based on their age. If they are happy for people to know they are 58 then why would they lie about being peri menopausal? It makes no sense at all. Periods at that age are uncommon but not unheard of. What could she possibly gain by lying about it?

I guess I am negative because I get sick of people talking about it at work. I understand with friends and family but am not on board with it in all spheres of life. I completely agree that line managers etc need to be aware and understanding with employees that need support. I just feel oversaturated with menopause talk but I do work in one of those “bring your whole self to work” places.

It would be extremely unusual for a woman to be still menstruating at 58. She'd be a statistical outlier.

This in one of those occasions where I'm defending a position that I don't even give a shit about because, really, so what nobody wants to age. Myself included.

Yes some - not all, in fact only a minority-will say they're peri because they don't want to admit they've actually reached menopause and are now in fact post - menopausal.

I don't care. I really don't but to say this never happens is incorrect.

Apparently I'm a statistical outlier then. We do exist. I am 58 and still have a cycle. I know women who went into their sixties. My GP said it was more than 5% at age 58 (presumably to reassure me).

I don't think 5% is particularly insignificant.

I bet you go around boasting about that to everyone don't you @Negroany and then they all gasp and say 'wow, you're so youthful, we're so jealous!'.

The fact that you say 'well into menopause' just shows you don't actually know what menopause is. Somehow.

Yes I should have said past menopause.

Menopause being a specific point whereby 12 months without a menstrual period has passed.
It's all post menopause after that point.

I don't really give a toss to be honest.

If a person is having issues that may be caused by hormonal issues I'd advise that they see a GP who can test their hormonal status.

Just bemused at how some women like to hold onto the illusion they're still young by saying they're peri when in fact they're post menopausal as they've reached the 12 months without a period mark.

And a minority definitely do this.
I don't judge, it's just human nature.
Who wants to get old after all?

But to deny it never happens grates.

And on the flip side, i had early menopause. So by the PPs logic, i would be lying to seem...older??

I mean, people do say I don't look my age, but it's probably not because of being peri rather than full meno because I don't really mention it.

I do enjoy refuting the idea that I am "middle aged", I say "I bloody hope not, I'm not intending to live to 116!".

Well indeed. It would be crazy if you kept mentioning it. Perhaps you should from now on? 'Hi I'm Negroany and I'm still menstruating' then do a little twirl.

Well you probably do look younger. That's fine.
Nobody wants to reach menopause as it means that from a biological perspective things are a bit downhill. It's not just about looking younger.
Though in other ways there are benefits. It's not all bad.
Swings and roundabouts.
It is what it is.
Some choose to go on HRT. Others don't, neither choice is wrong.

DewDropsAndCobWebs A lot of my friends say they are in peri menopause. They talk about it a lot.
I really need to look into this. My periods have virtually stopped, but your comment about crying for no reason has struck a chord with me. I do it often and I wasn't really sure why.
I admit I don't give too much thought to it, we all have busy lives.
I'm 44 but started my periods at 9 years old and I wonder if starting your periods early leads to an early menopause?
If there are any doctors on here I would love some advice on this. I promise I will see my GP also.

Peri menopause is just the average age leading up to it. Menopause is when it arrives.

I’m 35 and went to the GP with various complaints - she is testing me for perimenopause. Why would I say I’m going through the menopause when I’m not? Yes it’s the start of it, but if a doctor tells me that’s what I’m experiencing then should I tell her she’s wrong because of someone on the internet thinks we’re using the wrong word?

so you don't chat with friends of a similar age about it? I got more and better info from my work colleagues than I did from my (very good but male) doc.

I had my last baby at 45.
Everything was in working order.
Had some hot flushes 6 or 7 yrs later. That was it.
I agree with posters who think we shouldn't medicalise everything, it's a normal part of life.

I’m really glad that menopause is being widely talked about. I thought that I was going crazy. I thought that I had some deadly illness.