AIBU to stop school runs for a rude and upsetting child?

[Helpneeded2026]

Hi, I need help please! A school mum keeps asking me to take her little girl to school and pick her up and it’s constant! She even wants to drop her daughter to my house at 7:30am. The thing is this child is so loud and so rude to not only me but my daughter to, it really upsets my child and she cries when she knows we have to drop her off and pick her up from school. How do I tell the mum I no longer want to drop her off and pick her up? Do I send a message in advance or wait till she asks me? Just to add also the mum is rude herself and not sure how she will respond. The other problem is I sometimes help another mum but only for pick ups but her child is so lovely and gets along with my daughter so well.

Just be honest. Send a text saying you're no longer comfortable collecting or taking her child to school because she's so rude to both of you. She doesn't need to know if you're picking up other kids and even if she does, so what you're allowed.

A polite message explaining that the current arrangement no longer works for you due to a change of circumstances. She doesn't need any more information and if she asks for any more she's a cheeky cow lol. Protect your peace OP- what does she do if you're actually not available?

This is so cheeky! She’s trying to use you as free childcare.
I’d just message and say it doesn’t work for you so you won’t be doing it any more. It’s really unfair on your DD so just put her first.

She needs a childminder or before school provision. It’s not your problem.

I am genuinely baffled by posts like this. The solution is incredibly simple - you contact the mother and say it doesn't work for you. If she pushes you explain her child is rude and your daughter is not happy with the arrangement.

Advocate for yourself and your child! I dread to think what kind of message your current doormat position is sending your daughter.

Well this is a very easy decision.

Text right now. 'From Monday, I will no longer be able to drop off or pick up #child's name'

Then block her

As people have said above, next time she asks just say it doesn't work for you anymore. Since the mum is rude, I wouldn't get into explaining anything as likely she won't care and will keep pushing back.

"Hey Susan, just a quick message to let you know, a change in circumstances means I'm not going to be able do drop offs or pick ups with Tabitha anymore"

Do not explain. Do not elaborate.
She has no right to ask " Why?"

Do not under any circumstances give a reason for ending this arrangement. People like that see a reason as an invitation to negotiate. You're not going to negotiate. You're just saying no

No, sorry. You have to continue with this.

You know the answer, you need to be the mum your child needs.

Message her saying you will no longer be able to take/collect X to or from school. If she responds asking why, you say “personal reasons “ Repeat as necessary without elaborating and then block her if she won’t take the hint.

You need to prepare yourself for taking child/sending her back home if she’s dropped off in the morning.

She will find someone else to bully soon enough.

This excellent and helpful advice.

To those who are "baffled" 🙄 and making "doormat" comments, the OP has come here for advice. It can be extremely difficult for some of us to find the right words for a situation like this. Lucky you for being someone who knows how to stand up themselves at all times.

Just message her and tell her no and tell her why
you are not a free childcare service and this child is rude and not welcome in your home - end of
having another nice child for your child to play with is great - it is not great if they’re rude and horrible!

I second this. Never explain, never apologise.

Honestly, these posts always baffle me! You're a grown woman, have you not learned to say no? Just tell her, either in person or via text that you're not willing to take her daughter from now on. If she asks why, tell her your daughter's behaviour is unacceptable and it's making your mornings stressful. Her child is her problem, not yours!

I ended up in this situation, had two kids dropped to me in the morning, earlier and earlier, they all came in after school to be picked up, got to the point I was walking one of them up to a club.
for those asking how - personally I’m autistic. I’ve never been easy in big groups, always struggled to make friends and terrified me asserting myself would then mean my kid didn’t have these friends. It’s really difficult for some of us to navigate these things so if you don’t understand you’re bloody lucky.

I’d just say “sorry I can’t help anymore, I’ve got too much going on”. If she pushes just ignore. It’s none of her business.

Tell her she needs to get a childminder.

This is happening because you’re nice and she’s rude! Rude people take advantage. Text and say you can no longer do her school runs for her,
no explanation, just keep saying no, if she asks why just say it doesn’t matter because you can’t take her, and that’s it
good luck!

She’s taking the piss. Text her and say you are no longer able to take and pick up the child. You do not have to tell her why if she asks. Just one reply, that you are not able to do it is the only response needed.

I used to be too nice like this. I am a lot more comfortable now rejecting things I don't want to do.

Try this: you reach around the back of your head, and feel that knobbly bone at the base of your neck. Walk your fingers down from that bone, pressing firmly. That's your spine. Remember it exists.

Now that you know you have a spine, next time, you say "no sorry, I'm not available at that time, it won't work for our routine". And then for any follow up requests you just go "Awh, sorry hun! I'm sure you'll work something out!"

Bite the bullet and send the text! What are you afraid of?

An awful lot of people have grown up in families where there were repercussions to saying "no". So they discovered it was easier just to do what they were asked and became people pleasers. As adults, it's very hard to unpick a behaviour learnt in childhood.
Shaming them (as that's likely what happened to them in childhood) will not help.

Just be grateful that you don't understand this dynamic, but maybe have some empathy for those who were not as lucky as you?

This is a good response. It’s not for you to be responsible for getting her child to school.

@Helpneeded2026 just send her a polite message.

"Hi Sharon, the current arrangement of dropping Delilah at our house in the mornings isn't working for us unfortunately. I believe the school has a breakfast club so perhaps try that?"

"I can't help with school run for x any more. Sorry but please don't ask me again. "

If she asks a reason you don't have to have one. You can say "the answer is no" or if you wanted to give a reason "I just can't cope with x".

If the mum is rude or pesters just block her. Doesn't sound like she's a friend of yours! These rude/cheeky types just take the piss until someone pushes back. So push back.

Next time she asks just reply 'Sorry I'm busy'. If she persists, don't reply or block.