AIBU to stop school runs for a rude and upsetting child?

[Helpneeded2026]

Hi, I need help please! A school mum keeps asking me to take her little girl to school and pick her up and it’s constant! She even wants to drop her daughter to my house at 7:30am. The thing is this child is so loud and so rude to not only me but my daughter to, it really upsets my child and she cries when she knows we have to drop her off and pick her up from school. How do I tell the mum I no longer want to drop her off and pick her up? Do I send a message in advance or wait till she asks me? Just to add also the mum is rude herself and not sure how she will respond. The other problem is I sometimes help another mum but only for pick ups but her child is so lovely and gets along with my daughter so well.

Tell her that you can’t do it anymore and if she asks why, say ‘excuse me but I am allowed to say no’ and that she owes you £x because it’s like a whole other part-time job.

This is the way.

Don’t explain why or give a reason as rude people take that as an opportunity for negotiation! It’s not a negotiation, it’s a done deal.

Just tell her no, she doesn't need an explanation. If she's got time to drop her kid to you at half 7 of a morning she's probably got time to take her to a breakfast club

Is this a place for the usual mumsnet refrain "NO" is a complete sentence?

To answer your question, I would message her in advance, basically now, and say that it doesn't work for you so won't be taking her daughter in future. If she pushes for a reason, I would tell her the truth and then block her.

You text her and say I don’t know if you knew this, but the girls really don’t get on. I can’t do school runs anymore, the arguing and upset that happens with both of them is really not a good way to start or end the school day.

Not sure if anyone has said this so far, but another good reason to say no without an explanation, is making sure the Mum can't take it out on the child.

Fair enough, you don't like the childs behaviour and you are under no obligation to see them to and from school, but you don't know what is happening behind closed doors. If someone had told my mum that I was rude, I'd have been in for a beating.

'No' doesn't come easy for all of us but your daughter is looking to you to protect her space and show her that 'no' is a complete sentence.

Put your little girl first. This situation is clearly very upsetting to her. So protect her. Message this rude woman, tell her you will no longer be ferrying her child to and from school. You can't and you won't. Then block her! You've endured this rudeness long enough and your boundaries have clearly been violated. Enough is enough. Protect your peace and protect your daughter's childhood, she only gets one. You can do it OP!

I'm baffled you're baffled. Most people don't like confrontation and to create bad feeling with someone you're going to have to see on the school run on a regular basis. It makes sense for OP to be reaching out for some moral support before she takes the plunge.

Fear of confrontation

Perfect response. Clear and honest without blaming anyone per se. You can't really argue with that 👏🏽👏🏽

Just be honest. She clearly doesn’t care how she comes across.

I would message before and just state, that you want to let her know you will not be taking or collecting her daughter from school anymore. She upsets your daughter and is rude to you. That neither of you need that stress.

Just say change of circumstance or that the kids aren’t getting along Simple

Please say NO TODAY
MY daughter is an only child - SHE IS NOW AGE 20 but l can tell you this
everyone IN MY FAMILY THOUGHT l can Take and pick up other kids as l only have ONE CHILD
I WORKED PART TIME TOO
SAY NO NO NO
TAKE IT FROM ME SAY NO - AS I NEVER SAID NO

Clearly learned behaviour if both Mum and child are loud and rude. You don't owe anyone anything, especially not free childcare.

If you feel you need something more than "No" just apologise and say it disrupts your mornings too much. If she dumps the child at your door, then you need to let the school know this has happened. (Or the police, depending on how angry you are feeling).

"Hi - just want to let you know that I'm not going to be able to give your child lifts to and from school any more. Your child and mine really don't get on well together and my daughter and I both find your child's behaviour difficult to manage at times - plus it's too much of a commitment to provide childcare for you every day. I think you'll need to look at finding yourself a proper childminder. Sorry, I know this means you'll have to find another solution but it's not working for me and my daughter so I'm going to have to say no more school runs. Hope you understand."

Then if she kicks off - "Sorry you feel that way, but as I said - it's not working for us and I have to put my own family first." Then block.

This.

Exactly! Imagine not having any say or control in your own life. Don’t be such a doormat op!

A simple message to the Mum saying 'Hi, sorry but I'm not able to drop off or Pick up xxx anymore' if she askes why just ignore the messages & if you bump into her & she asks why just say 'circumstances have changed so I'm not able to help out anymore' don't let on that you're picking up another child & if she sees you are & asks again why you can't help her just repeat 'I'm not able to help you anymore' & leave it at that. She's a CF & you don't need to explain why.

@Helpneeded2026 you coming back?

Please don’t get pulled into making comments about why you can’t do it anymore. The simple fact is that you don’t have to. It doesn’t matter if she’s the nicest child on earth, it’s not your responsibility and that’s that.

Hiya (cheeky bitch) I’m afraid I won’t be able to take (rude child) to or from school anymore from Friday this week.

Offer no further explanation. If probed, just state that your circumstances have changed and that it’s no longer an option. If she continues to push I would ignore.