To think people who drink alcohol around their children are shit parents

[Yesitsweird]

I have a 10 year old child. I noticed over the summer some of her peers seemed to be spending a lot of time in pubs (adult ones!) where their parents would go and sit outside, both get pissed and the child would play or go on a device for hours. My child went to a sleepover at a friend's on a friday night, and the parents took them both to the pub and did this! I was annoyed as no way would I have said yes if I'd known this was the plan.

I view all parents who do this very dimly, I assume they are alcoholics or have other issues. But it' not really that different to both parents getting pissed at home while the child is upstairs really, is it? I feel revolted by the dependence on alcohol so. many parents have and the impact this has on their children, but it's hard to discuss it with other parents as so many do it!

Am I alone in thinking this?

YABU - It's fine
YANBU - Parents shouldn't be getting pissed while looking after their children.

I do think the Wine o’clock phenomenon is hideous.

The normalisation of the idea that mums need to knock back gin to cope with parenting and all the trappings of that are particularly grim. The cards in Oliver Bonas and memes everywhere.

There is a pub opposite my kids primary school. We are a small suburban middle class community. Yes, there are quite a few parents that go there after school on a Friday buy the kids some chips and have a few drinks in a group. The kids play in the playground while the parents drink/chat usally outside keeping an eye out. Actually there is another pub 2 mins walk away without a playground where the parents do the same , they do usually buy them food. The kids are usually playing around. The pub opposite the school puts on special end of term parties too. I'm not too bothered, never done it personally as my kids always wanted to get home. Did have a tradition with a mate at the end of term we would go back to mine I would bung on some pizzas and maybe at 5pm we would both have a drink and toast the end of term. Never got pissed. If it's a daily thing probably not great if it's once a month as a treat for the kids / parents I don't see a massive issue. I don't really drink now and yes drinking to excess in the UK is unheflpully normalised - but a glass of wine hardly

Absolutely every word 👏

This is rubbish for that child, nothing in the experience for them

We do take our girls to pub garden in summer, meeting up with their school friends and their parents. There is often bands on and the girls love dancing in front of the mini stage, going is often more driven by them 'mum, X and Y are going to watch the band at the pub, can we go too'. DH isn't a drinker - 1 cider maybe, and I will have a couple glasses wine, we definitely aren't drunk

I would never take a friends child without checking with them first. When we host sleepovers neither of us drink at all.

YABU to say all parents who drink alcohol around their kids are shit parents. Parents who get smashed in front of their kids are shit parents but those that have a glass or two of alcohol while their kids play in the beer garden park aren't.

I think you’re being a bit black and white about it.

Sometimes we go swimming, to museums, playgrounds, tennis, castles etc and obviously don’t drink alcohol there.

But sometimes we go to the pub with our kids and they do colouring and eat crisps while we have a drink and a chat. Actually, thinking about it, often the pub visits are after a child-centred day excursion (a little rest after being out and about). I don’t think parenting has to mean making ALL activities revolve around the kids ALL THE TIME.

I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with kids sitting with adults for a meal, and the adults drinking wine.

I try and get my kids to be considerate in pubs and restaurants too (not too loud, not racing round, doing their own ordering, watching their ps and qs), although that is admittedly a work in progress

Based on your title, YABU.

But then we drink in absolute moderation, having a drink (1 unit) to accompany the meal. Our children known that's normal. Drinking to get drunk, loose control over one's a actions, etc. ? Sorry, we haven't had the experience.

You're allowed to not want it for your family. Equally, we thought it important that our children experienced moderation.....

Move to Scotlnd then. Children arent allowed in pubs here. Not sure it has helped our alcohol problem though.

OP, you are being extraordinarily puritanical. Yesterday afternoon, I went out to the park with DD, DSIL, DGC and DH. Afterwards, we went to the pub and sat outside, the DGC had a soft drink as did I; SIL and DH had a half of bitter each and DD had a bitter shandy. According to you, we are the height of reprehensibility for so doing. Well, we will have to agree to disagree. Incidentally, I wouldn’t use the word “sh*t” around the DGC. Perhaps, if your title is anything to go by, you might?

The beer garden isn’t suitable for children to play in. It’s basically a smoking area or a place drunk people have parked themselves in for the afternoon.
I know that children play in there but it is not right unless the venue has a specific play area.

Why can't parents enjoy themselves without resorting to alcohol?

Yanbu nobody in charge of children should be pissed. However I will happily drink a glass of wine or GnT in front of my kids.

I don’t agree that the beer garden isn’t suitable for children. It very much depends on the location. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a drunk person or a smoker in any of our local beer gardens. They’re very family friendly!

Dr Spoke(?) I was given a copy of the book from the 50s said there was an advantage to breastfeeding as it left you with 1 hand free to have a relaxing cigarette or a glass of wine. I was a shit parent.

Dr. Benjamin Spock.