To think people who drink alcohol around their children are shit parents

[Yesitsweird]

I have a 10 year old child. I noticed over the summer some of her peers seemed to be spending a lot of time in pubs (adult ones!) where their parents would go and sit outside, both get pissed and the child would play or go on a device for hours. My child went to a sleepover at a friend's on a friday night, and the parents took them both to the pub and did this! I was annoyed as no way would I have said yes if I'd known this was the plan.

I view all parents who do this very dimly, I assume they are alcoholics or have other issues. But it' not really that different to both parents getting pissed at home while the child is upstairs really, is it? I feel revolted by the dependence on alcohol so. many parents have and the impact this has on their children, but it's hard to discuss it with other parents as so many do it!

Am I alone in thinking this?

YABU - It's fine
YANBU - Parents shouldn't be getting pissed while looking after their children.

YABU based on your title.

Obviously both parents getting pissed is irresponsible parenting and taking the DC to the pub when on a sleepover isn’t great either.

That’s not what your title implies though.

Fair enough.
That is what I secretely think though.
I guess in the same way as smoking. Parents who smoke in their own time, fine. Whatever. Parents who sit ans smoke in the same room/car as their children - shit parents

Yeah the tile is wrong. There’s a huge difference between parents having a couple of glasses of wine and getting
smashed.

There’s nothing wrong with going to the pub as a family and the kids playing in the beer garden for example but no they shouldn’t be on screens for hours.

If I was hosting a sleepover no I wouldn’t take them to the pub. If I wanted to go out one of us would go and another responsible parent would stay at home. So many nuances.

YABU.

I often end up in the pub after an event thing with friends and kids. We have a drink (not drunk) and the kids have a J20, crisps, and play in the beer garden with their friends.

They certainly don't sit on screens as that really is shit parenting.

We then go home. Have dinner. Watch something together on TV or play a game. Quickstop is their favourite at the moment.

Yes we drink but the kids see us drinking responsibly and no one is drunk.

I actually think it’s good to model sensible alcohol consumption. But agree that you shouldn’t be getting completely hammered and leaving your kid on a device for hours.

The fact you can’t see why passive smoking is totally different to sitting next to someone having a glass of wine makes you unreasonable.

I'm imagining the mintest cats bum face while typing that out. Bravo

Getting pissed infront of your kids is pretty grim.

a glass or 2 - no problem. And definitely doesn’t make you a ‘shit parent’

How on earth do you expect nornal people to cope with children without having had a drink?

YABVU

DS1 has seen me the most pissed I’ve ever been. At a festival, he had to help me back to the tent. He is 26 though.
I didn’t ever drink to excess in front of them when they were young. A couple of glasses of wine is ok in my book but pissed around young children… no.

As a child in the 70s we would go to the pub with my parents and friends, in the winter the kids had to sit in the large (unused!) fire place as legally we couldn’t be in the bar area (or so they said 😂). I’ve fond memories of us all squashing in on the bench with a (gasp!) bottle of coke and a bag of crisps.

I think you are not being U. But then again, my idiotic parents routinely drank while us kids were around, witnessing all their pathetic arguments and behaviour.

You'd hate it here in Bavaria, where whole families are welcome in the beer garden and parents drink a beer while the kids play on the swings. There is food and often music, it's a lovely day out.

Getting blootered in front of kids isn't on but having a beer or two with kids around is not shit parenting.

Thank you 😂

I don't think you'll get much disagreement that parents should not smoke in the same room as their children or in a car with them. At least I would hope not.

Weird take. We've spent many a sunny Friday evening in our local pub garden this summer. Its got a playground and my DD loves it - she gets to play with her friends all evening and DH and I have a couple of beers with our friends and a catch up. Obviously we dont get smashed!

I'm a great parent thanks!

So basically the whole of Western Europe then... every single one of them is a shit parent?
Every family who went for a pub lunch after a long walk in the countryside on a crisp winter morning? Every person who hosted a dinner party in their house?
Clearly, I should have reported my own family to social services when Glühwein came out in December.

My dad was a drinker, I spent a lot of time in pubs with him. My mum rarely drank. So I learnt a lot of valuable things at an early age:

Alcohol is a social lubricant, it brings people together and allows conversation to flow.

It also can effect the way you function and impairs you if you have too much

A pub has rules, mostly unwritten about how to behave and what is fair

A person who spends too much time in the pub can only do so if they are single or it's detrimental to their family

Don't let drink be your master

A pub is a great place to make contacts... the type of pub my dad drank in you could get hold of a brace of pheasants, a starter motor for a 1971 ford escort or a Rolex watch within 15 minutes

There are pubs out there who's regulars look out for each other and provide surrogate family...they are places for the lonely.

I understood all that by the time I was 12. I like a drink but I don't abuse it. I stop when I need to and can go for a week without a beer without issue. I have made lifelong friends through the pub and still enjoy visiting different ones with my partner who doesn't drink at all

Are all these parents getting pissed though or just having a couple of drinks? I see lots of families in pubs and none of the parents are pissed. We often took the kids to pubs and didn't get pissed. Do you think any alcohol consumption when kids are present is shit parenting.?

I don't get why people see it as that different though. We know any amount of alcohol can cause health problems and cancer, and it causes a lot of societal problems. Fine to use your adult agency and choose to do it, but why model it in front of your children, and if you are pissed in front of your children you are 1. Not capable of looking after them, 2. Putting them at risk of something happening ti them 3. Exposing them to an unhealthy lifestyle habit.

Why is it unthinkable to sit next to your children in a playground with a fag hanging out of your mouth, but fine to be sat next to them 2 drinks in in a pub on a friday night?

Plenty of people manage without drinking 🤦🏻‍♀️

2 drinks doesn't make you pissed

Its different because children would be inhaling your cigarette smoke but they wouldn't be drinking your alcohol.

Well would you pop out to buy lunch during your work day, down 2 drinks then go back i to the office? If not why not?

Are you being serious? Of course second hand smoke in a confined environment is worse than a parent drinking a glass of wine. The social side of having a glass or two of wine with friends should not be overlooked in terms of benefits to our health.

Do you have issues with alcohol OP? Since even a glass appears unacceptable to you?