I don't think people in general like confident people, especially ones who are sufficiently independent to walk away from crap. Most people are a bit shit IMO and they don't want to improve themselves to keep you in their life so they try to drag you down instead. Most people are alright on the surface and make good enough friends to hang out with but when it gets deeper, like romance or flatmates etc that's when the cracks start to show.
I suspect people in general just don't consider women as true equals either. I don't mean the same, but accepting that the differences between men and women doesn't inherently means one sex is better than the other.
In good men that seems to manifest in wanting to take care of you in some way, if you're seemingly too independent that scuppers that for them and I think a lot of them get insecure over it. They don't necessarily dislike you for your independence, but they want to feel safe that their partner won't leave them so someone a bit more needy or insecure herself provides that.
Bad ones will just sneer at you subconsciously because they sense the truth: you're better than them. Even though you yourself might not be thinking that, because you don't know them very well yet and haven't figured out they're a bad one, they still know it because they have access to their own minds and know deep down what shit bags they really are. Then they hate you for it.
In a woman who subconsciously doesn't consider women equal to me she's not doing what they're doing and going all out to get what she wants, instead she's bending over backwards to accommodate this or that, doubting herself and wondering if she's being unreasonable as a first response to any disagreement.
It's quite hard to find someone you're sexually attracted to, have something in common with, whose company you enjoy, want similar things in life for the medium and long term as well as the short term, live nearby, are on the same page financially (I don't necessarily mean earnings, but definitely in outlook with views regarding money) and in agreement regarding how to raise DC. These are all non-negotiable and it's quite a lot to find in one person.
I suspect a lot of people settle and make the best of whatever situation they've found with whoever they've found, just because they don't want to be alone or because they don't want to be celibate. It's a bit like finding a job where you pick something that ticks ¾ of the boxes and put up with the rest, all those bits you don't particularly like.
From my own observations, it seems like most relationships of any description (like family or friends or whatever too) only keeps going long term by at least one person putting up with being treated unfairly/like crap, occasionally. People just decide to brush stuff away rather than break contact with the person. I wonder if some people get married just to for in with societal norms and then bond with their peers over how shite it can be? I keep hearing enough about how friendless/partner-less people are to be avoided because they're surely odd.
When it comes to who to be in a relationship with, if you've got self respect there'll always be someone else out there who is more of a doormat than you are. The more of a doormat your partner is, the more you get your own way, so with a lot of people disliking compromise of any kind they'd rather have a doormat type.
Maybe it'll be different among the younger generations, they seem to be a lot more focused on self improvement and less focused on finding a partner.
Older generations, most aren't focusing on that and where they are it's women mainly who seems to be focusing on their well-being, getting over bad habits, getting away from toxic people etc to create better lives. Women are raised to think they should be doing more, being more etc. so more naturally seems to want to improve themselves. Men are mainly seeming to be focusing on their looks/job/hobbies etc when they work in improving, with it all being down to meeting someone or making themselves look more attractive when they do meet someone, they're not actually interested in raising their game as a person because they've been brought up to believe that whoever and whatever they are, they're "enough".
How many men will hit the gym when they break up, lose the excess pounds, buy some new clothes and find someone new who then ends up disappointed (if she stays) because they revert to original them once their partner is locked in practically/financially/legally. Whereas women tend to see that stuff as just the basics of maintaining yourself, they're always going on diets or doing exercise to lose a few pounds and having glow ups etc even when they're in solid committed relationships, because they're doing it for themselves not just to get a partner.
I think women could learn from men, in a lot of cases. If they went out and loved their lives how they wanted and just weren't afraid of a relationship falling apart as a result of that, maybe they'd be happier in general? Instead all I see in the world is men who do whatever they want, caring if relationships fail but often not enough to do anything about it, and women who do everything under the sun to keep a relationship of any kind intact, even a bad one. Look at the notion of "wife work" and how it's female relatives who keep family gatherings/relationships together. How many family gatherings would there be if men had to organise each one?
I'm not sure if any of my rambling helps you OP. It's late and I don't have any solid answers. There's obviously going to be exceptions to the general circumstances I've mentioned. You sound like an exception to the norm yourself, I'm not sure what you're supposed to do with that though.