AIBU to think toddler groups are reasonably for parents, not childminders?

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

I've seen a couple of posts on Facebook now from toddler groups or mum and baby groups requesting that childminders do not attend and that it's for parents and children.

These are those small church hall or community centre type groups, where there's toys, you get a biscuit and sing wheels on the bus, then go home for nap time, that sort of thing.

AIBU to think that actually, that's quite reasonable? They usually have limited space because they are in church halls, and are popular. They aren't just for babies and toddlers IMO they are a lifeline for parents, usually mums and provide support and a chance to make friends with other mums, connect, ask for advice, breastfeed in comfort, have a hot cup of tea they didn't need to make themselves, and get some adult conservation for a bit. Baby and toddlerhood can be such an isolating time.

I get that children love it and it's a shame for them to miss out just because their parents are at work, but surely it's there for the benefits of parents just as much of not more, and childminders shouldn't be clogging up the spaces?

I don’t know if you’re an AH or insane… Of course childminders should go. It’s healthy for both of them to be there and is needed for the child’s development. It’s not like a childminder is going to have loads of money to take them anywhere else either.

You are being ridiculous. As a parent, I’d be delighted that my child was being taken out, meeting other children, learning to socialize and hopefully having fun. I’ve been involved in running one in the past and we welcomed parents, grandparents, Nannies, childminders or any other carer with their little ones.

Absolutely 100%

Perfectly put ♥️

I used to help at a toddler group run by a church. There was a waiting list as in there was a maximum number of children and carers that could be accomodated, but it was a mix of mums, grandparents and nannies/childminders (occassionally dads came but that was pretty rare, although there was a separate weekend dad and toddler group)

I can't see how it makes a difference, who brings the children, I think it can be difficult for any caregiver if they are with a baby or toddler all day without adult conversation.

You’re just being pedantic. You know what the op means.

I've seen ariticle on Facebook. The name is MOTHER and toddler group

I have used two different childminders. Neither of them ever took my children to volunteer run parent and toddler groups.
They took them to soft plays, parks, the beach, the woods, free local events, met up with other childminders, sometimes took them to local attractions. They did cooking at home, garden play, messy play, storytime, naptime, meal times, arts and crafts etc etc etc.
A professional, experienced and qualified childminder is very able to provide an enriching experience for the children in their care without attending parent and toddler groups.
They are a business, being paid for a service. There are going to be business costs associated with how they choose to run their business and what kind of service they are going to provide and that is worked into their fees.
It is a very very different thing to being a parent or even a grandparent.

I see you haven't responded to questions about grandparents, OP. Is it anyone who isn't a parent you would exclude?

Why does everything have to include all and sundry. I'm sure there are plenty of childminder groups they can go to.

Personally I do think yabu, I feel the 'primary' reason for toddler groups are for the toddlers to play and interact, if you happen to meet like minded 'isolated' parents then great, but that's not the purpose of the group surely

@Greenjersey grandparents and dads aren’t commercial businesses though, it’s obviously not the same!

But clearly it doesn’t.

Grandparents as sundry. Love it 😂.

Childminders are people too. They are probably parents, too. And they need friends and adult conversation, too.

Most toddler groups are open to a child and their caregiver - my sister took DD to a group when id just had DS. Sometimes dad's came to toddler group, sometimes mum came some weeks and their childminder came other weeks....it was continuity for the toddler....who in effect is "the customer"

Well you think wrong, most of us put our children first, not deciding what privilege is reserved for us
i hated having to go back to work, so i chose a wonderful childminder who would take my DC to normal toddler activities. Why on earth would I want them sat at home?

I would personally want to prevent one single group from taking up a disproportionate amount of space, meaning that others who fit more into what the group was intended for have less opportunity to access that space.

It particularly makes me uncomfortable if the group taking up that large amount of space is a business, using a service provided by volunteers.

I don't think grandparents fit this description at all. But if they did, then yes, I'd want to exclude them too. Can't see how they would though.

And while I am here I might as well answer about dad's. I never said dad's couldn't come too I said the groups are for parents, primarily mums because it is usually mums at these types of groups, let's be real.

It's a little strange how quite a few commenters are acting as though the choices are simply 1. Go to parent and toddler groups and 2. Stay at home.

The article I saw said it was a MOTHER and toddler group. What's so difficult about that to understand. There's millions of these groups around. Others will let childminders

And I can possibly imagine why a grandmother would want to attend such a place. My idea of hell

But how much of an experience are they really getting in the church hall with a banana and a basket of rainbow shakers? They would be just as happy at the swing park. These groups are a source of emotional and practical support for parents, not a networking event for childminders.

I think YABU, our nanny takes our toddler to the local community playgroup, she goes early and stays late to help set up and clean up, and it gives our toddler a great social time and a community activity. Child minders / nannies are people too and deserve community and belonging just as much as mums!

But as PP said, if you’ve gone to the effort of setting up a toddler group then I guess you get to make the rules!

Seems a bit mean but I can see that if you’d set it up for the purpose of making mum friends then that’s who you would want to attend…

It wasn’t difficult to understand - just because I don’t agree doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

Classic case of disagreement meaning you clearly don’t get it rather than you have another opinion.

I attended playgroups as a childminder, in fact it was us childminders who ran it. Not one parent ever helped set up or pack away and the same parents left early every single week to avoid it. If we did not run it the group would not have run. My little ones loved playgroup and would get excited on the day they knew they were going, their parents loved the fact their children still got to attend social groups, make friends while they had to work. I do understand why anyone would be wanting to deny a little child the chance to play, make friends just because their parent has to work.

These groups aren't called parent and toddler groups. They are called baby and toddler groups. They are for the children and a childminder being there isn't going to stop parents making connections or getting advice. Organisers of the group can obviously police it how they want but the groups are inclusive so I can't imagine excluding a group of people would go down well.

The one in the Facebook article was a MOTHER AND Toddler group. Even showed the sigb

Where do you stand on Grandparents ?

I mean, they aren't the child's parents, and are looking after the child when the parent is at work, but, generally really appreciated the dc being able to run off a bit of steam and do some activities.