AIBU to refuse the back seat when giving my MIL a lift?

[Frontseat]

MIL expects lifts . Fair enough dh obliges.

Sometimes I’m with him as while she’s in an appt we get other jobs done/shopping etc

Turned up today and she ordered me into the back seat ! I said no - if you want a lift get in if not book an uber.
The seats are on the same level, just as accessible and the same leg room ( im petite so have the seat pulled forward so back seat has lots of space).
She went mad started shouting at me ! To have some respect and move. Called me a ‘rude disrespectful little bitch’.

Dh has then told her to sort out a taxi he’s not having her speak to me that way.

She has phoned repeatedly (we ignored)
Shes messaged to say she missed her hospital appt because of me !!!

AIBU to think she should have just sat in the back ?!!

I would always sit in the back and give up my seat for someone getting a lift from us. Does being selfish bring you any joy? Your mil is equally unhinged in her reaction sounds like the car is the final straw

I would always move from the front seat to the back for my MIL, it’s basic manners. I would let my husband catch up with his mother as it’s harder to hear from the back. I don’t really understand why you’re there gatectashing her appointments? You live with your husband, let them have time together.
It’s not acceptable how she spoke to you, but I suspect she snapped as this sounds like a pattern of rude behaviour from you.
’MIL expects lifts’ - she doesn’t drive, surely your DH doesn’t begrudge a lift to the hospital? Sounds like you’re a bit jealous/ possessive.

Given the background and the nastiness from her over the years already, @Frontseat while you have DH on side as it were, I would just drop her as far as I was able. If DH wants to keep up the relationship then he can make arrangements but this would be my personal line in the sand.

Any normal person needing a lift would just get in the car and smile. A power play like this is a dumpable offense. She has zero brownie points already. Arrogant cow.

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You sound like you’re still in competition with her for your husband’s attention tbh

Don’t go along to appointments. Find other times to “run errands”. For someone you dislike so much, the logical thing would be to avoid her not go along when you don’t need to be there.
Let the woman have some time with her son. You don’t need to tag along. She was wrong,

As someone 10 years older than OPs MIL, I really object to her being called elderly. Firstly, I wouldn’t ask my children for lifts. I am perfectly capable of getting a taxi. I am also perfectly capable of getting into the back of any car. OP’s MIL was totally out of order. Who the #### orders someone out of their own car.

I would always sit in the back and give up my seat for someone getting a lift from us.

me too, or at least I would always offer. It’s almost like a guest/host situation. Just good manners.

I was talking about the OP, as I’m sure you knew…

What a load of right-wing Reform/Restore bollocks! People seeking asylum are legally not entitled to council or social housing.

But I think it applies to the MIL more. Why would anyone move.

I'm older than OP's MIL and if I called either of my DILs a 'rude disrespectful little bitch’, my sons would quite rightly take their partners' side and be absolutely furious with me.

This is obviously part of a pattern of behaviour from OP's MIL and she is lucky that her son was still willing to give her a lift before she was so incredibly rude to his wife.

Horrible people don't automatically become saints as they age. They often become more rude and entitled. OP's MIL has cut off her nose to spite her face by her incredible rudeness to OP. She will be the loser, not OP.

I assume that this is directed at OP? It should actually have been directed at OP's MIL who is the person that needs a favour from her son and DIL. OP was already sat in the front with her DH and her MIL could have just got into the back of the car and been taken to her hospital appointment with no drama. MIL ordered OP to get out of the front passenger seat and then spewed out a tirade of abuse when OP said no. It's crystal clear who is in the wrong here and it's not OP.

How is it right wing to say the majority of people on council waiting lists for 1 beds and studios are men in the highest groups on waiting lists (ex prisoners, immigrants, etc)?

Women typically need bigger homes to also house their children. That is why they are rarely seeking a studio or 1 bed like I was as a single young woman. So the people I jumped ahead of were mostly men. They weren't families waiting for a studio flat.

I always offer my parents or PILs the front seat. Did you really tell her to get an Uber if she didn’t like it? You sound charming, and she sounds the same so maybe like attracts like?

The poor woman. Just sit in the back.

So it’s fine to call someone a bitch then, whilst being given a favour? MIL needs to get with the system: OP most likely contributes towards the car financially and practically so why would she ride in the back? MIL needs them, more than they need her so they have the power

I'll say it again, I pay for my bus fares, many elderly and disabled people (even some who have never worked!) get a free bus pass. Should all of us more able bodied folks just refuse to give them a seat because we've paid and they haven't?

Is that the world you want to live in?

I always gave up the front seat for my elders except the time our elderly neighbour invited herself along. She didn’t ask. DP had mentioned he was dropping me off at the airport and she said she had an appointment at the hospital nearby. Without checking to see if it was ok she cancelled her lift and informed DP a she’d be coming with us. She then tried to dictate what was happening when. DP wasn’t happy but wouldn’t stand up to her.

So, I stayed in the car when we picked her up, forcing her into the back. (She had no problem getting in.) She tried to hurry us round the supermarket (2 hours from us, no deliveries then, just before Christmas - we had planned to stock up) and told him to drop me off as soon as we arrived at the city and they’d go and have lunch. No consideration that I might want lunch with them too, nor that we might have had plans already.

If she’d asked to come with us and what our plans were, fitting in with us it would have been different.

She had a seat! So for any minor infraction of someone’s entitlement means you can verbally abuse them

There might be seats upstairs and there are hand rails. They can find their way up if they try hard enough, eh?

She’s mid 60’s and no mobility issues, there are no needs just her wants. I notice you are point blank avoiding the verbal abuse and MIL behaviour

This. What an entitled cow, not you, your MIL.

YANBU

I would leave all contact to DH and certainly wouldn’t be putting myself out for her in any way.

As I have said, for most of us who see this is a basic manners, the whole exchange wouldn't have happened because we'd have vacated the seat voluntarily.

It's like asking me if I'd slap my husband for calling me a fucking lazy cunt for not having the dinner on when I was supposed to. None of this would happen in my home to begin with! Dinner would be on so there would be no calling me a cunt and therefore no slap!

I would not be giving up my seat and sitting in the back for someone whose only impediment is their enormous sense of entitlement and bad attitude.