AIBU to refuse the back seat when giving my MIL a lift?

[Frontseat]

MIL expects lifts . Fair enough dh obliges.

Sometimes I’m with him as while she’s in an appt we get other jobs done/shopping etc

Turned up today and she ordered me into the back seat ! I said no - if you want a lift get in if not book an uber.
The seats are on the same level, just as accessible and the same leg room ( im petite so have the seat pulled forward so back seat has lots of space).
She went mad started shouting at me ! To have some respect and move. Called me a ‘rude disrespectful little bitch’.

Dh has then told her to sort out a taxi he’s not having her speak to me that way.

She has phoned repeatedly (we ignored)
Shes messaged to say she missed her hospital appt because of me !!!

AIBU to think she should have just sat in the back ?!!

I expected your post to finish saying DH then told you to get in the back 🤣. Well done for him standing up for you! She can get taxis from now on.

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I’m not far off 64 I’d be absolutely mortified if someone got out to offer me the front seat because of my age! 64 is not old, people work full time, most are fully mobile. Bloody offering me the front seat like I’m ancient 😡

I don’t know. I was brought up to always let those older sit in front, so I probably would offer it. And if someone specifically asked then I’d let them as not particularly bothered myself. You sounded rude in how you responded and she was completely out of line with her reply. Whole situation sounds unpleasant.

Actually, not just older people but others in general. I would always offer the front to anyone (adult) who we are giving a lift to.

You know, it's not about being old, it's about being older than you.

So say if I went with my 18 year old to pick up my 30 year old cousin, my son would sit in the back. Not because my cousin is "old" at 30, but because they are older than him. And I'm saying "they" because that is irrelevant of their sex.

I'm reasonably close to my parents and parents-in-law, was very close to my grandparents and would have done just about anything for them (because they lived their lives for other people, which is not at all the vibe given off by the MIL in this story).

When I reach that age, if I'm ever stupid enough to speak to a daughter in law like that I hope I've raise my sons well enough that they have very little to do with me again until their wife receives a grovelling apology.

I would have offered the front seat but not to someone who is entitled and rude . How she spoke to you and then doubling down with the calls and blaming you for missing the appointment- nope. 👎 I would expect my DH to stop lifts and expect her to get a taxi moving forward. Totally withdraw from any effort or contact with her yourself OP. Horrible woman.

I always sit in the back seat that way he has to listen to the non stop whittering and complaining and I just gaze peacefully out of the window

Exceptvthe post only mentioned OP, DH and MIL?

Yes, that’s the way my MIL is as well. She would never demand anything, she’s far too polite!

I would always offer an older person the option of front seat 🤷‍♀️

I answered generally

Go Husband!!

What a ghastly woman!

I am a MIL. I go in the back of my sons’ cars when their wives are there to, and in the back of their wives’ cars when my sons are present. She’s awful.

Imagine having the headspace to pick a fight over who gets the front seat in a car.

This is the sort of thing that only happens when there's a history of antagonism in the relationship. Mostly adults wouldn't care about who sits where.

OP stated the back had plenty of space. It’s nice to be offered the front seat, terribly rude to expect it.

Goodness me, sounds like a scene from an episode of Shameless ( never watched it but imagine it could be on there).
She was very rude to you.
I always sit in the back if my MIL in in DH’s car though. I don’t see the big deal about sitting in front.

It sounds like you have reached your limit with an entitled mother-in-law and that this latest incident is the cherry on the cake.
I don't think you were rude. I used to offer my mother-in-law the front seat, but she certainly did expect it anyway!
I think personally, she was rude to have mentioned it. Clearly she expected that your husband would side with her also. I am glad he didn't, my husband allows his mother to say horrible things about me but never challenges her, which has led to the breakdown of our marriage (to her delight!).
Is she likely to apologise? I'd tell her to find her own way to appointments from now on, maybe she can walk if she wants to take in the scenery!
Sorry, my own experience may be clouding my impartial response here!!

She was horrible and rude, but honestly I would have offered my MIL the front seat. Or better still couldn’t you just have let your DH and her go on their own if you know she prefers the front seat and she’s going to hospital (always a bit stressful). Honestly you sound like my kids the both of you.