AIBU to refuse the back seat when giving my MIL a lift?

[Frontseat]

MIL expects lifts . Fair enough dh obliges.

Sometimes I’m with him as while she’s in an appt we get other jobs done/shopping etc

Turned up today and she ordered me into the back seat ! I said no - if you want a lift get in if not book an uber.
The seats are on the same level, just as accessible and the same leg room ( im petite so have the seat pulled forward so back seat has lots of space).
She went mad started shouting at me ! To have some respect and move. Called me a ‘rude disrespectful little bitch’.

Dh has then told her to sort out a taxi he’s not having her speak to me that way.

She has phoned repeatedly (we ignored)
Shes messaged to say she missed her hospital appt because of me !!!

AIBU to think she should have just sat in the back ?!!

Bring polite and respectful isn't subservient. Only the weakest minds believe that

I paid for.my seat on the bus so fuck the cunt with the crutches, I'm having a seat.... they probably got a freedom pass anyway.

Is that the world you want to live in?

Yes. Not worse than all crimes though. And it is definitely not worse than when council staff are corrupt and steal thousands and even millions in money meant for the community.

Try it.

No OP should hsve vacated the seat either before the pick up or when they arrived at MILs.

Unlikely. Not an elderly person anyway. Probably a man tbh. Single bloke just out of jail, fresh to the country or off the streets or something. That's who are mainly down for studios/1 beds.

My mother would slap me for showing bad manners. And no, she didnt slap me when I came out of prison, she would have if I did cunty shit in there though.

Vacate the seat and then let them decide. FiL would typically give it to MIL

Why should someone automatically get the front because they are older? 🤣

What having my mother slap me for showing bad manners?

How dare she speak to you like that...when its your family car .. glad your hubby backed you .
I wouldn't put up with that either.

I always give my MIL the front seat, but the difference is that she doesn't demand/expect it. She always offers to go in the back, but we have a tiny car and the back seat isn't the comfiest so I'd rather give it to MIL who has older more achey bones than I have.

If she suddenly started insisting I get in the back, I might feel differently. But my MIL is a lovely, gentle person so I can't imagine her doing that.

Children and royalty in the back. Adults and staff in the front.
Glad she missed her appointment

I can honestly say that I have never slapped my children. It’s abuse.

My mum has never hit me either. She'd have slapped the living fuck out of me for bad manners though. Now at 40 or at 14.

Tbh I was initially going to say you are unreasonable because I think it’s an accepted thing that front seats are generally preferred and maybe she wants to talk more easily to her son - I would always offer someone a front seat out of kindness because I don’t feel the need to fight/ assert superiority over my place for it - HOWEVER - after seeing how she responded im your DH reacted as he did and think she’s outrageous. However as it’s obviously been an ongoing battle , as others have said , there’s more to unpick.

If you were all walking to the car, it would be polite to offer the guest the front seat, but I wouldn’t expect to get out of the car specially so they could have it unless they had mobility issues.

MIL was very rude to “order [you] into the back seat”, so I think you were perfectly justified in staying put. It sounds as though she might have been trying to “put you in your place”, but failed.

I would always get out and get in the back if my mil was getting in the car. It’s just a respect thing. But the way she spoke to you wasn’t ok.

So why did you make a fuss about it? I’d have just got in the back

I do offer the front seat to guests/older relatives I don’t know why I just do and you did say all the seats are the same so you could have just sat in the back too. It feels a bit like a power move and the seat isn’t actually the problem. The way she spoke to you was not good but I wouldn’t have made her miss a hospital appt over it all.

People are still going to need to explain what’s disrespectful about sitting in the back of a car as I’m really clearly missing something

Sad faced emoji at all the people with degrees, no criminal record and a less than 2 body count yet don't know to get up for someone older than you.

TBH I’m in the same boat. MIL asked if she could sit in the front as it’s easier to get in and out (she says). We take her shopping and errands etc. I said ok - even tho I get car sick in the back so end up sucking on mints etc - she knows I get travel sick. Its more so that she can have quiet conversations with my DH and block me out (bit of a trend with her). I gave in as I am a soft touch

I’ve voted YANBU if she has no mobility issues.
You say you and your DH own the car between you. Maybe you could suggest you drive and your husband sits in the back if you ever give her a lift again.