AIBU to refuse the back seat when giving my MIL a lift?

[Frontseat]

MIL expects lifts . Fair enough dh obliges.

Sometimes I’m with him as while she’s in an appt we get other jobs done/shopping etc

Turned up today and she ordered me into the back seat ! I said no - if you want a lift get in if not book an uber.
The seats are on the same level, just as accessible and the same leg room ( im petite so have the seat pulled forward so back seat has lots of space).
She went mad started shouting at me ! To have some respect and move. Called me a ‘rude disrespectful little bitch’.

Dh has then told her to sort out a taxi he’s not having her speak to me that way.

She has phoned repeatedly (we ignored)
Shes messaged to say she missed her hospital appt because of me !!!

AIBU to think she should have just sat in the back ?!!

I raise my children to respect the law
and
I raise my children to be polite and respectful

It is possible to do both

The victim?

I see you and your mother as “behaving disrespectfully” when you defrauded the tax payer AND took a home away from someone who was genuinely entitled to it

You disrespected the tax payer
you disrespected someone in need

Ok

IME men and women in my life see the seat thing as the norm, it's not based upon whether you like fairies or trains.

Yes she should have, at least DH stood up for you - what a cow!!

.

Fairies or trains?

Well done for picking a battle with a senior! Just out of interest, did you miss your your teenage rebellion chance and now you are making up for it?
But be consistent - you are not picking up and now all you have to do is to tell your MIL to sod off and refuse her inheritance. All of it, but tell her in advance, so she can make relevant provisions.
P.S. Even animals have the order of precedence, but whatever.

The only person I have in my life that has had a tantrum over the front seat is my MIL. She is the only person who I resent giving it up for.

Father in law would always give it up to her for a quiet life.

Husband’s darling aunt? I’d offer it up every time. She was adorable and used to prefer sitting in the back with the babies when they were young.

DH, myself and DH’s friend recently went to a funeral. I got in the back without even thinking and when we arrived, he politely opened the door for me like Lady Penelope.

My own parents, I’d normally put Dad in the front so I can chat with mum in the back. Dad doesn’t expect it and we always have a dance where I tell him to get in the front.

I really don’t give a stuff where I sit in the car- I just want to get from A to B. It absolutely sticks in my throat though with anyone that thinks they should sit up front because they are more important than you.

Some of these comments. She’s 64 not 94!!! She’s not old or infirm.

What inheritance? MIL might not have two coins to rub together for all you know.

And very poor form to tell people to be nice to elders in the hope of securing money when they pop their clogs.

Give it a rest. You don’t know the full details. I almost did the same for my DD when my ex started abusing her but I couldn’t leave because my other DD refused to go (she was his princess), so I got my DD out and safely living with a friend. If I had not that option, then I absolutely would have lied to get her a council house. I’d already reported this ex to the police and they did nothing. It took years to get me and other DD away from him.

As for being an ex convict, you also don’t know anything about that.

This isn’t a thread about this poster’s past. So give it a rest with the personal attacks.

Ok.what tax payer? I paid full rent on my council place because I was working. My temporary council place I did not because it was a ridiculous amount a week and nobody paid it in full as it wasn't "fair rent" or whatever you call it so I got some HB. That's because they are private let through the council so you pay 2 sets of rent essentially.

Either way, we don't raise our kids to disrespect elders.

For me, it’s all in the asking. If she asked nicely, i might be more amenable to her. Particularly as i actually get travel sick sitting in the back.

But, the presumption and the unacceptable behaviour isn’t suddenly going to persuade me to sit in the bloody back seat.

I admire your husband for having your back.

You are twisting the argument. I did not say 'be nice to her so you will get some inheritance'. I said 'if you can't afford her even the minimum level of respect, be decent and don't touch her money, that is all'.

😂

Yes, exactly you can have a bit of peace. Otherwise MIL is shouting from the back and you're the one straining to hear her.

That’s not the case here though is it. No mobility issues and all seats are the same

My temporary council place I did not because it was a ridiculous amount a week and nobody paid it in full as it wasn't "fair rent" or whatever you call it so I got some HB. T

this was defrauding the tax payer.

and you were likely depriving one of the released prisoners who genuinely did not have a loving family to live with

Do you seriously not see that lying to get resources that somebody else needs more than you is disrespectful to the person who misses out?

Laws are made to make it possible for people live with each other without chaos and strife. To ensure that people are able to keep their own property, to access resources fairly. When you act illegally you disrespect everybody that obeys the law, that shows restraint so that there can be fairness, consistency, order, peace and stability.

@Lexibletheflexible
I would start reporting these personal attacks in your shoes.
It’s a good idea in future to name change for any threads you start or posts you make that have highly personal information that can be weaponised against you to score points in completely irrelevant threads by certain less than ethical posters that seem to find it entertaining.

OP has been respectful.

She ignored MIL telling her she stole her son.
She ignored MIL telling her her cooking is bad.

How much disrespect do you expect OP to ignore?

And it sounds like MIL is living to the full so she won't be leaving an inheritance...

And it's a shame that she now works with prisoners/ex prisoners. I hate to think what example she is showing them of how to be a contributing member of society

As a chronic motion sickness sufferer who can't even look out of the side window when in the front seat or look down at phone etc i have to be in front looking straight ahead.
If i sat in the back whomever was in the seat in front of me would be getting vomited on.

You too, give it a rest. The council house was her mum’s crime btw, a 16yr old child cannot be held responsible for her mother lying to the authorities. And as I’ve said, I can see I might have done the same as her mother did in a difficult circumstance.