AIBU to refuse the back seat when giving my MIL a lift?

[Frontseat]

MIL expects lifts . Fair enough dh obliges.

Sometimes I’m with him as while she’s in an appt we get other jobs done/shopping etc

Turned up today and she ordered me into the back seat ! I said no - if you want a lift get in if not book an uber.
The seats are on the same level, just as accessible and the same leg room ( im petite so have the seat pulled forward so back seat has lots of space).
She went mad started shouting at me ! To have some respect and move. Called me a ‘rude disrespectful little bitch’.

Dh has then told her to sort out a taxi he’s not having her speak to me that way.

She has phoned repeatedly (we ignored)
Shes messaged to say she missed her hospital appt because of me !!!

AIBU to think she should have just sat in the back ?!!

We'd disagree. Especially if the person is your rude child who is disrespectful to their elders. A clip around the ear is very much called for.

I suppose the logic is that it’s not mentioned if you’re posting about, for example, your holidays or TV show but when you’re posting about being raised right - it’s is the sort of post that if a poster does recall your prison thread - it seems reasonable and relevant to raise?

I agree that it would be poor form for people to look up past threads deliberately, but if you have an active thread at the moment then it's hard to say they're bringing up past threads.

Anyway, you've said that you don't like it, so I certainly respect that and I won't refer to it. I haven't seen your thread.

no - it would be like you being aware of a poster saying that all dogs should be on leads but you recall a thread started by that particular poster about how she was arrested for not having a dangerous dog on a lead

Well, 'accuracy' isn't your strong point is it as I haven't mentioned reporting anyone. I think explicit belittling of someone 'isn't' anywhere near repeating facts. Indeed, since when has 'opinion' been considered a 'fact'. Hence why I asked why it is 'ironic'. You should look up the definition of, 'irony'.

No, not really. Especially when it only serves to demonstrate that the person who went to jail has better manners than you. You know on that note, it is also the kind of thing that would make you unpopular in jail. Even the drug dependent street sex workers would abide by this etiquette when their dependency allowed them to.

I didn't say you specifically had reported anyone though Golden. So I would be checking your own 'accuracy' before casting aspersions.

I can’t say many of us are concerned about what would make us unpopular in prison @Lexibletheflexible

I've never been arrested for disrespecting or harming the elderly.

I agree with so much of this.

I should hope not

but you are talking about being raised right

when you do concede your own mother flagrantly lied to the council, defrauded the tax payer and took housing away from someone who actually needed it - so you could get a council house at 16.

Surely, surely you must see the hypocrisy in that?

What a peculiar post. Assuming all prisoners would offer the front seat. How strange

For all we know the MIL is under 50, and the consideration part was the lift!

Edit: oops, she's 64, the rest of the posts have loaded for me now.

Most female prisoners have been raised to do things like defer to the elderly, yes. WC values.

Interesting that you say females are raised to defer.

I agree with you but that this points to the sexism at the heart of all this.

Just not to defer to the law

No, not really. I can see how one is breaking the law and one is bring rude and disrespectful and I know what one is acceptable in my eyes.

You can be calmly and assertively rude.
Men have been convicted for calmly and assertively emotionally and verbally abusing a partner.

Being calm and assertive doesn’t mean you’re not also being rude.

I don’t raise “my females to defer”

They would offer the front seat out of politeness

not deference

Perhaps not.

So to be clear - breaking the law is the “acceptable one”

Nobdy here raises "females" to defer. We raise our children to defer. I spoke of female prisoners because that's who I was locked up with and mostly work with now.

MIL was rude in ordering OP to the back. OP's response was justified, and gave her MIL two options, to either sit in the back or get an Uber.

You can't be rude to someone and expect sweetness and lightness back.

Yes.

That doesn't mean murder is more acceptable than bring rude. It means I'd more readily consider doing something illegal than acting disrespectfully to someone.