AIBU to refuse the back seat when giving my MIL a lift?

[Frontseat]

MIL expects lifts . Fair enough dh obliges.

Sometimes I’m with him as while she’s in an appt we get other jobs done/shopping etc

Turned up today and she ordered me into the back seat ! I said no - if you want a lift get in if not book an uber.
The seats are on the same level, just as accessible and the same leg room ( im petite so have the seat pulled forward so back seat has lots of space).
She went mad started shouting at me ! To have some respect and move. Called me a ‘rude disrespectful little bitch’.

Dh has then told her to sort out a taxi he’s not having her speak to me that way.

She has phoned repeatedly (we ignored)
Shes messaged to say she missed her hospital appt because of me !!!

AIBU to think she should have just sat in the back ?!!

I’ve never found that the seat pulled forward means the view is blocked as long as the passenger doesn’t crane forward at junctions.

I always prefer a smaller person in front as they don’t tend to spread their legs out so that their thighs are touching the “driving area” where the gear stick etc is.

I also just find tall men more likely to be annoying passengers who do things like crane forward, try to adjust the settings of things in the car etc.

No, basically it's more like, calm the fuck down. There is nothing more aging than being angry about every injustice!

What victims of my crime?

I think the government should apologise to the taxpayers for what they locked me up for.

But ask yourself, why are you dragging my past into this thread? Don't you think that's weird? Do you think showing that me, an ex prisoner, has better family values than you shows me in a bad light, or you?

If you have any more questions, comments or accusations, please post them on my thread about being in prison.

I always offer the people with the longest legs the front seat eg if dh is driving giving my parents a lift dad sits in the front and if dad is driving my dh sits in the passenger seat as he’s over 6ft. If im driving dh sits in the front though as dad isn’t tall, mum refuses to drive unless she’s desperate!

I would always offer my mother in law or parents the front seat.

If I did this and told my mother what happened she would tell me I was rude as shit for not offering, however my MIL was rude as shit for the way she spoke to me.

Yes, and yet she would never expect an older person to sit in the back seat either! So even though she would do something illegal, she would find it disgusting to show such a lack of basic etiquette. What does that say about your own values?

There are two issues that are being conflated - comfort and respect.

• It is polite to always offer someone the front seat. YABU
• It was completely rude to say basically 'if you don't like it get an Uber' YABU
• Her reaction was rude and OTT - YANBU

It then escalated. The situation was because of your approach and attitude - her reaction was rude and way too much. You both acted like complete children.

It has nothing to do with size of car, comfort of seat, space in the back etc.

OP doesn't sound angry, she dealt with MIL calmly and assertively.

Telling women to calm down when they exercise agency isn't helping them, it's telling them to ignore their own needs and put others first.

Well, I wouldn't go out of your way to help her any more OP. You & DH were already being considerate of her age by chauffeuring her around. Unless there is a medical issue, she is equal to both of you. Such entitlement.

I give my front seat up for access needs and nothing else. That means a few people in my family but that's ok.

Oh I miss those days.

MIL set the tone for the interaction by being rude and disrespectful.

She won't be doing that again in a hurry.

Time to tell her get an Uber.
Stop cooking for her.
Send your husband to her on his own.

Avoid her, completely.

I'm with you. The 'bitch' comment alone would keep me a long distance from her.

Well the 'ordering' as you call it is a response to the DIL not demonstrating etiquette that is pretty commonplace, maybe it was the straw that broke the camels back, the OP maybe regularly uncaring and resentful, it certainly sounds that way. Even if it isn't, I would not and have not cared when an older person (than me) in my family has said such stuff.

That it stands to reason that someone who lies for financial again is also the type of person to order others about.

Have you read the OP’s updates? The MIL would find something else. Indeed there are many issues.

I would stupidly always offer the front seat to someone older than me...AND I get terrible motion sickness. #mug

I didn't call it that, OP herself she said she was ordered to get in the back.

It does sound like the straw that broke the camel's back, because OP has clearly had enough of MIL's rude behaviour.

This ☝️

Again, you're reverting back to your own experiences of constant conflict, there would be no ordering because we've all been raised to show basic manners. Just like nobody has to be told to cover their nose when they sneeze or not to belch at the dinnertime past the age of 5.

Teaching these basic social skills and principles is a norm in many families. Others place less value on this side of character development.

How can you drive to give her a lift if you are in the back?

Me too . 100%. I just have my sick bag with me. 🫣

So why are you now in 2 threads harassing me about my past? You seem a bit creepy tbh.