AIBU to tell my daughter to report a flatmate's mother?

[Boxingshibes]

Dd went to university a couple of weeks ago. She is setting in well and likes her flatmates.
Unfortunately there seems to be a problem with one of them. She is an international student and her mum came over to help settle her in, all fine.
BUT
The mum is still there, sleeping in the same room as the daughter.
The rest of them are getting increasingly annoyed as she's just there and as she doesn't speak any English it's difficult to ask what her plans are.
When dd moved in her contract said that she wasn't allowed any overnight guests to stay more than 2 consecutive nights.
Its been 2 weeks!
I've told them to go to student housing/ welfare and say something. Maybe they can do something?
Surely at the very least it's a safety issue if there was a fire or something as this woman isn't supposed to be there?
The rest of them dont want to get this girl and her mum into trouble but if the mums visa runs out surely that's worse?
I know I can't do anything but how do I get through to dd?

As God is my witness to bring and eat lunch with him. It happened at least twice. When he was let go (not for letting his mother in but for vandalism) she called for days until we blocked her. To this day he is referred to as the kid with the mom. Oddly he was not embarrassed and neither mother or son thought this was strange. If anything thought our boss was strange for not allowing it.

“You’ve” obviously referred to the poster who posted the quote I included, not you 🙄

Full of main character energy you are. Don’t even know why you responded in the first place

That's ridiculous, some serious level of helicopter parenting going on here.

Yes your DD and the other girls should report it so can be asked to leave asap. Frankly it's probably also the best for the poor girl who seems to be controlled and under her mother's spell.

It's been an eye opener. I thought I was a bit of a helicopter. I look negligent when I read some of the comments.

“You’ve” obviously referred to the poster who posted the quote I included, not you 🙄

You included only my quote on that post. It’s okay I get you don’t want to admit you weren’t reading properly yet again. Good on you for backing yourself so strong 😁

There may well be cultural reasons behind it so what? OP your daughter and flatmates need to contact the accommodation office asap and ask either that the woman is removed or they are all relocated in a new flat. The University will have seen this before and will sort it out.

😂That is so funny. I spent years studying with international students, and work with them all these years on as the company I work for have a graduate scheme. So I’m no stranger to witnessing etiquette misconduct due to cultural clashes, but that is a new level of stupidity.

It's a ridiculous suitation the mother shouldn't be there full stop, report it, the daughter may be grateful that you have.

Absolutely baffled at the people saying it's alright for someone's Mum to be in her room squatting ! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Wtf !? Get your daughter to tell the security , it's all shades of wrong ! Which one of you guys is planning on covertly sleeping in your student child's room for weeks while Halls of Residence life goes on around you ...🤯😂😂😂

@Boxingshibes she was shouting at other flatmate when It was 11pm,they were about to go out. oh my gosh and oh my days so she should be, people should be heading home at this time 😆

as other posters have said this really does need reporting asap for your daughter’s the other flatmates and the flatmate herself

Why don’t you just tell the accommodation your self, your daughter doesn’t need to know it was you. Job sorted

I’m all for encouraging DC to sort out their own issues in halls etc., but I think I’d probably just call the university’s accommodation myself on this one, if they are nervous about doing it themselves. There’s lots to learn about and navigate when you move into halls, having to put up with someone’s mum interfering in your enjoyment of your accommodation shouldn’t be one of them. It’s completely different from someone sneaking a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend in for the odd night.

Sounds like the extreme of the clinging mothers thread from a couple of weeks ago!

It doesn't matter if it's a 'cultural' thing, a common excuse. It isn't a common thing in the culture of this country and shouldn't be foisted on everyone else! If the culture is that the mother is 'protective' of the daughter then maybe the daughter shouldn't be so far from home, maybe stay where mummy can watch her 24 hours a day.

Then if that's their culture then maybe Halls isn't the place to live, rent a flat/house so that the student can be a child for the whole university time with mummy or whoever there to supervise 24/7.

It will make their,electric, gas ,water bills more with and extra person . Say there's 3 students in the house that bills ÷ 3.
Now there an extra one is it bills ÷ 4 or does the mother free loader expect the others to pick up her share. Absolutely nothing to do with being foreign or fire risk, its a freeloader issue!

Exactly. Rent a flat or house. It’s very inappropriate and the mother has to leave.

Yes, I had the same thoughts. In some cultures outside UK this would be 100% acceptable, normal behaviour.

It still doesn't excuse the parent staying in halls and shouting at and interfering with the other students who live there.
If that's their culture the student and parent should get their own private accommodation.

🙄 x 100

I think your daughter needs to say something along the lines of “when is your mums return flight? If she’s not out the flat by the end of the (date) we are telling security and you could end up evicted”.

Perosonally I would give her till the end of the week, so she can get a hotel or a flight - but tbh it’s up to your daughter and her flatmates. Don’t let the girl evade the question.

I had a similar thing in halls. My halls flatmates were all a bit weird, we never really gelled into a group, partly because art education means a lot of long hours in the studio.

One of my flatmates had his mum there all the time! I'm not sure if she stayed overnight, but I saw her more than I saw him. She was Korean but he was raised here, I think they were from not far outside of London.

I asked her once why she was here so often and she said it was because her son was sick so needed extra support.

I take it your dd is paying for her accommodation? Ask the flat mate to get her mother to pay her share

Yeah I had rhis when I was in uni doing a masters. We were in post grad halls. A girl had her mother with her in her room. She stayed for many months. They were from India. They were both very nice and actually most of us didn't mind but it was a bit odd really. Later on in the year, the mum left and girl's husband arrived for a few weeks.

Yes i was thinking that everyone leave their tv's on.full blast when they all.go.to uni and party every night loudly till 2am,.i bet the mother is cooking in the room also,