AIBU to tell my daughter to report a flatmate's mother?

[Boxingshibes]

Dd went to university a couple of weeks ago. She is setting in well and likes her flatmates.
Unfortunately there seems to be a problem with one of them. She is an international student and her mum came over to help settle her in, all fine.
BUT
The mum is still there, sleeping in the same room as the daughter.
The rest of them are getting increasingly annoyed as she's just there and as she doesn't speak any English it's difficult to ask what her plans are.
When dd moved in her contract said that she wasn't allowed any overnight guests to stay more than 2 consecutive nights.
Its been 2 weeks!
I've told them to go to student housing/ welfare and say something. Maybe they can do something?
Surely at the very least it's a safety issue if there was a fire or something as this woman isn't supposed to be there?
The rest of them dont want to get this girl and her mum into trouble but if the mums visa runs out surely that's worse?
I know I can't do anything but how do I get through to dd?

Stupid thing to say!! If it was a man.sleeping in bed with his daughter he wouldnt be there the police would have been called immediately!!!!

Spoken to dd, she had a chat with the other flatmates. They are going to inform the girl that her mother needs to leave by next weekend or they will go to student housing. One of the other girls has also spoken to her parents about it, her dad mentioned that if the girls mum has come on a tourist visa from China it will run out this week so hopefully she'll leave to go home. If she doesn't they may have a bigger problem to talk to housing about.
I've promised dd I'll not do anything.
I am going to be in her uni town for work in a few weeks and if something hasn't been done about it by then I will be the annoyed parent speaking to someone in person.

Get this woman moved out, do whatever it takes. At best, she is really really really fucking weird.

A few weeks?! Start making calls today. Right now. And obviously tell your daughter you have to do this, and don't make silly, unsafe promises to her in the future. She needs you to step in as a parent. Do it.

I think giving her until next weekend is too generous. Mum needs to move to a hotel tomorrow.

@Ofcoursenot26 I will be supporting dd to tell student housing ASAP but if nothing has been done by the time I'm there for work I will be making a scene with housing/welfare etc. Dd and the others are adults and should sort this out by themselves.

The plan sounds good, OP.

But various websites are saying that the Chinese get the same tourist visas as everyone else, 6 mos.

My son had this aeons ago. Is she Chinese by any chance? The mother was cooking on a smaller burner in the room too.

They reported it and she had to leave ( halls of residence). It all stayed anonymous although the girl never spoke to anyone again.

Good to hear. Don't wait a few weeks though, that's just too long for this weirdness to continue. And there's no "should" necessary. She "should" not be weirdly imposing on these people.

Stop trying to get out of doing your job as a parent and just parent her.

I’m amazed they are giving her a week. Leave today or it gets reported. Absolutely unacceptable for the mother to be staying there.

They do realise the reporting is inevitable right? There is no way that woman is leaving voluntarily.

Stop trying to get out of doing your job as a parent and just parent her.

You need to pipe down a bit. The daughter is an adult and living away from home independently. Of course mothers don’t stop being parents once they hit 18 and she should help her DD where she can, but give it a rest telling the woman to stop trying to get out of her ‘job’ and parent her.

You need to pipe down a bit. The daughter is still young and needs to be parented on this issue, as she has proven by the reality that she has a weirdo woman sleeping in her rooms and has done literally nothing about it.

Time for the OP to stop making excuses and just parent her.

Time for you to learn that you're not in control of my responses and stick to answering for yourself.

Because you certainly won't be answering for me.

Such a strong powerful independent woman. If only we were all brave enough to say it how it is like you. You go girl 👏

What an absolute weirdo you are. Sorry you are so triggered by a perfectly normal response, I guess you're used to bullying people into silence.

You won't be answering for me. You won't be silencing me.

YW.

You won't be answering for me. You won't be silencing me.

😂😂

😅😆😆😂😅😂

She’s not in danger. She’s working out how to manage something and if mum had jumped in on day 1 that would have been overparenting. Your approach is ridiculous, this is a useful learning experience for the dd as she grows up. If she ends up not being able to manage it mum will help, but she will have gained experience for the next difficult situation. That’s good parenting for 18 year olds, unlike what you suggest.

Nope, not remotely ridiculous. Although, it is certainly ridiculous that you can't cope with the reality that I disagree with you.

So anyway, have your opinion, which I don't feel necessary to call ridiculous, although as I say your inability to understand that others don't agree with you certainly is.

I will stick to my correct opinion. Your permission neither required nor requested :)

YW.

With young adult children, the idea is to guide them to advocate for themselves. If we as parents don’t do that, they won’t learn true independence. It doesn’t sound as if she’s a danger to them. If she were, I would step in. Otherwise not. I’d be tempted to do so with the dad staying with his ds. That to me is far more worrisome.