AIBU to feel hurt my husband will not visit my gallery display?

[NewAquaHare]

my Art is being displayed for the first time in a gallery which is 2.5hrs drive away. My husband says it’s too far to go and it’s not his thing anyway. AIBU to be upset by his lack of support? If it was the other way round I’d be excited to go and see it. He says it’s my hobby not his.

My husband plays golf (yawn) not professionally but at the weekend. Totally not my thing but if he was ever in a competition I would go and watch him and cheer him on

Congratulations on your art being displayed that’s amazing

You have to put your foot down. Stamp if you have to. My husband was so surprised that I expected him to come to my amdram shows or choir concerts, but he does without complaint now. He should be supporting you and that means going to see your art.

That's not too far from me @NewAquaHare . I'm in Whitby in Oct for the goth weekend. Will it still be there?

The book one I kind of get. I'd never expect DP to read my book, even if it got published (which it won't, it's not very good)

DP reads about 3 books a year, and mine is an absolute doorstop in a genre she loathes. It would be a real arduous commitment for her.

OPs situation is different. The actual looking at the painting bit is probably 15 minutes. Even if he absolutely hates the painting, all he's got to do is make nice noises about it for a few minutes. The rest of the day is just spending time with his wife on a day out. If he's unwilling to do that, that's got to hurt.

Ugh, I feel bad for your husband TBH. You expect him to go to every single one?

I bet your book is great. You clearly have exceptional taste in literature.

I feel a bit torn in this one. At first it read as if you may have a whole show on display. Not to minimize the effort of one piece, ( I know that's a great accomplishment) but I can see how a 5 hr drive might seem like a lot for one piece. It also depends how busy he is.

I am not one to throw this around lightly but… break up worthy.

I reckon he's an arse other ways. you want to go ahead and tell us
Yes he should go see it and make it an overnight to celebrate you

My mother did the same thing to me. First and only person in the family to go to uni and she wouldn't come to my graduations. She had passed away by the time I got my PhD and my sisters sent me a text with a couple emojis that was it

Your husband is appalling. And a bit thick, to boot, if you'd need to "explain the situation really well." What needs explaining, exactly?

Big congrats on your first gallery exhibition!

This is a big deal and that he won't make the drive to see your work professionally exhibited says he doesn't give a shit, or he's possibly jealous or both. 2.5 hours isn't that long a drive unless he's quite elderly, and he could make a small trip of it by staying overnight. He literally said seeing his wife's work recognized is not his thing. He let you know what he thinks of you and indifference from your husband does not make for a healthy marriage. That's checked out. Are you putting a lot more into this marriage than you're getting out?

If you want to save the marriage, time for marriage counseling.

I mean, you could have made an overnight out of it. He’s really burst your bubble @NewAquaHare hasn’t he? I’d be really upset in your shoes.

This is really shit of him. My husband would be so proud he'd camp out there with a huge banner that read I'm married to her!
You deserve that. You deserve to be celebrated and for your achievements to matter and be something he's excited about.

so. Fuck him. And bloody well done to you! Having your art displayed in a gallery is HUGE!

Book yourself into a hotel, OP and go next weekend. Go visit Robin Hood's bay and/or Whitby whilst you are there. (Providing you drive) Go see your work - well done, by the way that's fabulous.

Have a great time. He can look after the DC if you have them. Treat yourself. He doesn't need to come, you can go without the miserable git.

I had some paintings in our local town bi-annual expo. It is amateur but there was a renowned guest exhibitor. it gets a good draw if public & a lot of the work is excellent. My H didn’t go & he hadnt actually seen the work as he is not interested, ( I paint mostly outdoors & its a personal quiet place that makes me happy - probably because I am away from him ) I sold 3 pieces & didn't tell him. It would have taken him 15 minutes to drive & park.
I think he thinks it’s my little hobby, is worthless & probably embarrassing.
(Actually its our marriage he should find embarrassing)
So I know how it feels.
Very sorry he cant show any support😞
Dont give up !

Oh FFS, what a lazy, unsupportive toy he is! I've travelled over 2 hours each way to see art created by a pal, never mind a spouse.

You should expect more from the person who is supposed to love and value you. I'm so sorry he's let you down.

Congratulations on getting your artwork on a gallery. That's amazing, and you should be extremely proud 🥂

We only got back from holiday on the day of the opening (holiday was booked way before I even entered this) so I couldn’t get there and back sadly as I was straight back to work. Just bad timing that I couldn’t make it happen rather than it not being important enough.

I do see that it’s a ridiculously long drive and his reaction initially made me think that I’d been over indulgent in expecting him to come to see it, so I see your point of view. I just know I would travel way further and go above and beyond for him so I don’t know, I just expected more I suppose.

I’m on the fence, I’d go, without question, if my husband wished me to. But honestly I’d just be doing it to make him happy if it was one piece I’d already seen and a 5 hour round trip,

Thank you. In all honestly it’s ruined it for me and I feel embarrassed rather than excited because of his reaction. We initially had this discussion in Aug, today I’ve had the same discussion knowing it’s only on display for a few more weeks and it’s really bothered me that he’s not reflected or changed his mind and still feels the same way - hence I wanted to hear what others thought. So I don’t actually know what I’ll end up doing, feeling completely deflated by it.

Congratulations on your achievement. It would be a naturally supportive thing for your husband to do to go to see your art. However, in over 25 years my husband has never been to watch me perform in any of the choirs I sing in, or dance displays that I used to do. He's just not interested. I find this very disappointing, but refuse to be put off singing and dancing. Some men are just not interested in cultural events. My fellow singers and dancers refer to him as the invisible man.

It is a big deal getting your first gallery exhibit. It's 5 hours travel so you could make a day of it with lunch out. Scarborough is a lovely place to visit! Expect more of him. Tell him what it means to you and that you are disappointed and feel unsupported; suggest the day out. If you are calm and ask him not to get defensive, hopefully, you can work this one out. If he still chooses to ignore your feelings and gets pissed off that would be very telling on my marriage for me.