AIBU to feel hurt my husband will not visit my gallery display?

[NewAquaHare]

my Art is being displayed for the first time in a gallery which is 2.5hrs drive away. My husband says it’s too far to go and it’s not his thing anyway. AIBU to be upset by his lack of support? If it was the other way round I’d be excited to go and see it. He says it’s my hobby not his.

Yeah, very selfish and you have confirmed the marriage is not great. I'd be asking to go to couples counselling and it'd be over for me if he refuses or things dont improve with therapy.

To be brutally honest, we had one of these exhibitions in our local gallery to promote home grown artists and it really was a 6th form end of term exhibition at best - it was 10 miles away and I felt I had wasted time and petrol. If he has seen the finished article, plus countless times in it's creation, and been supportive through that process, than a 5 hour round trip for one picture is unnecessary

But this is the first time ever for OP, not something that’s been going on for years

I'm not sure I'd make a long journey to see a single painting hung somewhere tbh. I'd be pleased for my partner for sure but I'm not sure why spending a day going to see it is 'supportive'. Equally I don't expect my husband to come and support any of my hobbies either.

What a massive twat your husband is.

Why are you married to this scumbag OP? Please cut your losses and leave now. I wasted almost ten years of my life on someone like this, I always accepted his excuses, and no one told me to open my eyes. Finally one day I did, and left immediately, my only regret being that I didn’t do it much sooner! Congrats on your first gallery show, that is a huge achievement!

If this was my DH I would be really happy to make a day or even an overnight trip of it and go and see the painting and go out for lunch or dinner and celebrate the achievement. The fact that he won't speaks volumes about how he views you. I would be really upset if I were in your shoes.

I sing in a band and DH comes to nearly all of my performances and diligently takes photos and video for me as well. I don't mind him missing the occasional one but I would be really hurt if he chose not to come to most of them.

If your life partner can't support you and cheer you on then what is the point of them?

Your husband should be your biggest cheerleader.

Has this issue opened your eyes to how he views you?

I wrote and published a book my husband never bothered to crack the cover of. Just a very small part of why he’s an ex.

I don’t have a creative bone in my body, but when my DH’s photographs were chosen for public display I wouldn’t have missed going to see them and letting him know how proud I was of him.

It’s pretty rotten of your DH not to go. Many congratulations to you on your achievement though 👏👏👏 Well done.

Wow OP I’m so sorry that’s really awful of him.

No comment on your husband but say want offer enormous congratulations to you @NewAquaHare. Huge congratulations. I hope for you lots of good and fun comes from it.

No expectation to drive, it’s in Scarborough, The Nicholas Cliff gallery

A good supportive spouse would be organising a proper outing to visit the gallery and celebrate you. And he's be absolutely delighted for you.

He's an arsehole. I'm sorry.

You missed as well opening night, did I get that right? I think he absolutely should be there to support you on opening night, but after that it does seem pointless to drive 5 hours to see a piece he has already seen. He will be just a visitor, nothing more. So I feel for you you feel hurt but is the 5 hours of driving that tips the scales towards AIBU. At least for me.

I’m torn. I think it would be really kind of him to go see it with you, make the experience feel very special.

But many of us are burnt out and tired. I’m assuming you have kids, and a 5 hour round trip is very long. If it were a whole collection, I think I’d feel he definitely should go. But as it’s one piece of art and so far away, I do feel on balance that it’s probably not worth the visit. However - note I’m typically quite bar humbug about stuff so maybe my perspective is a little lacklustre.

My first thought too.

exDP was like this. He was an abuser. He couldn’t stand it if he wasn’t the centre of attention. The

Has he already seen the pieces that will be in the gallery? I can understand not wanting to make a 5 hour round trip to see something I had already seen but he should have helped you mark the achievement in some other way.

Congratulations OP. Where are they? Maybe we'll have a MN trip and see them with you!

He is a selfish prick. You should ask him again to go with you and explain why it is important again. If he refuses again, then you have bigger problems.

Hmmmm my husband is like this. I’ve had my art displayed locally in an art shop and he didn’t visit. He would not count that as supportive. He sees support as him taking an interest whilst it’s being created and whilst he would be pleased that it was on display (and would say ‘well done’), he wouldn’t feel the need to go and see it. FWIW he’s very likely autistic (DC are) so he does see things differently and I am used to that. (He also doesn’t like crowds and is reticent in showing emotion.)

He should be supporting you, simply because you have asked him to and explained why it's important to you. Make a day of it, I love places like Scarborough out of season.

That's awful, far worse than the situation in the OP TBH. I wouldn't have forgiven them either.

Hmm he’s clearly not that bothered but also, if he’s already seen the art, why does it matter if he sees it displayed?

I agree with this. If OP herself couldn't make the opening night, it makes it seem as if it wasn't such a big deal. I don't think that the husband is as much of an arsehole as some on here are making out. The fact that it is only one piece also makes a difference. Plus a five hour round trip? I'm team husband on this one.

My DH is an artist. His art has been in heaps of galleries all over the place. I’ve seen every single exhibition, wherever it has been. Can’t understand why you would not support your partner in that way.