AIBU to feel hurt my husband will not visit my gallery display?

[NewAquaHare]

my Art is being displayed for the first time in a gallery which is 2.5hrs drive away. My husband says it’s too far to go and it’s not his thing anyway. AIBU to be upset by his lack of support? If it was the other way round I’d be excited to go and see it. He says it’s my hobby not his.

It could be a lovely way to spend the day together. Have a nice meal at your destination. His reaction is odd.

Ah exciting! Whitby’s so nice! It’s on until 25th October

Congratulations!

However I know a few accomplished artists whose spouses have little interest in art themselves so they’re never really present as the others who do engage. Someone people just don’t get it sadly.

That’s terrible. I’m so sorry that happened to you.

Agree I’m afraid. Performing is a hobby. Watching a performance is not. Amateur performances are often a struggle to watch, can be excruciating, it’s something you only do out of love.

Every performance? The poster’s DH is a saint.

Even the tern 'am dram' makes me cringe. I have to wonder as well what the reaction would be if a man demanded that his wife attended his
football matches or golf tournaments. I think that he would (rightly) get short shrift on here.

I say that as I have nothing to compare like for like in personal achievements. But I have gone to numerous concerts and bike racing events with him as he likes them and wanted me to go - even though I didn’t like the band or didn’t follow the racing. I made the effort for him and showed up. So on this basis I know that I would be there for him.

Why it matters. He wouldn’t know if I didn’t explain. No one in his family or friends has had such an experience and he simply wouldn’t perceive the need to support something.

There was a post on here earlier in the year about football, and your team getting through to a semi final or something, and people wanting to miss big family events for it. I had no idea it was a big deal and was educated by football appreciating MNers who explained it’s a ‘once in a lifetime if your lucky’ scenario.

We all have different priorities and experiences that inform our expectations.

OP, you're clearly very talented, and this is a Big Deal. Please promise us you'll find a way to go and see your picture in situ - go and do an overnight on your own or with a friend if you can, make a proper event of it, celebrate. This really is something you'll regret afterwards if you don't. KEEP PAINTING and I hope it's the first of many successes for you. (My husband would absolutely do this for me and does, and vice versa).

What a knob.

Exciting stuff. (I run an art gallery btw) - It's a big thing, well done!

Is it London?

(mine is provincial I'm afraid)

@NewAquaHare "I just know I would travel way further and go above and beyond for him so I don’t know, I just expected more I suppose."

Well now you know that he wouldn't go above and beyond for you OP. Men rarely do anything unless there's something in it for them. Just adjust your future expectations of him. Congratulations and keep painting. What a wonderful talent to have.

Whitby is a lovely setting! Presumably the work is for sale? Best time of year with Christmas coming up.

It's not about your partner having to share your interest in art. It's about him supporting your accomplishment in getting your picture displayed. It's also about him agreeing to go somewhere with you because you want his company (like you going to gigs or sporting events because he didn't want to go alone). Of course seeing a picture hung in a gallery is different to seeing it at home! Please make a trip to Scarborough OP, without the selfish git if you have to.

Scarborough

Is it the postcard competition at that gallery (dates fit)?

What a miserable fucking response from your DH! My husband would be there in a heartbeat. And I would do the same for him or even a friend. I've driven 2.5 hrs each way for day trips before. Just make a day of it. Get some lunch, go for a walk. If there was some medical reason it was difficult to go I would be understanding. But even then, you'd expect your DH to be excited and supportive and saying something along the lines of ' they wish they could go'.

Is there someone else you can go with? Leave that miserable sod at home. And next time he asks you to go to something you have no interest in tell him to piss off!

Is it for sale? Has it sold?

Please do link it. I won't tell

I think YABU, sorry.

2.5 hours for a piece he’s seen is crazy.

Go on your own or take a friend, stay over a night, chill and enjoy it. Take photos and video the experience, if you are allowed. He's being insensitive and selfish - please don't let him spoil this achievement. And spend more of your valuable time on pursuing your own interests and skills, not supporting his. Be a lead actor in your own life, not an extra in his.

Congratulations!! My husband would be thrilled for me as I would be for him! He should come and be supportive and be proud to tell everyone that the artist is his wife!

He hasn't ever had a friend or family member who's had any kind of professional or personal success, or some kind of event to celebrate? Never?

I cannot fathom having to explain to another adult, "This is a big thing for Our Friend/Me and it's important that we show up."

You must have the patience of a saint.

Aargh! I accidentally voted YABU. You are not.

In successful marriages things that are important to one become important to the other. It’s an amazing achievement and he should be delighted for you and go.

So what if art is not his thing. He’s not going for that, he’s going to be proud for you.

Of course your husband is being selfish. Your excited and it an achievement. The people most important in your life should be excited.

Whatever happens, make sure you go and see it on display, that’s massive achievement, congratulations!

YABU, sorry but 5 hours driving to see some artwork that he has already seen. You weren’t wrong to ask but I think you are being unfair to be mad at him for not wanting to go.
I think it’s different from going to concerts with him.