AIBU to include stepchildren in our family foundation benefits?

[Tonotcauseissues]

I have done a nc for this. We are setting up a family foundation- it will pay for school fees, uni fees, driving lessons, first car, 3 years insurance and a gap year. The children of the family will join the board age 18 and be mentored until 25 where they gain a seat on the company board. We have said it is for biological and adopted children. But after all these blended family threads I don’t want to create issue if our children have step children. So thinking we offer the same the foundation gives(car, driving lessons, uni fees etc) to step children if married or living with our descendants but not the seat on the board- does this seem reasonable so children living in the same house get the same? Just reading the post about the car for nephews etc and got me thinking. And I know this is a privileged position but I want to get it right as once the deeds are written it can’t be changed so don’t want to cause issues in years to come that I haven’t thought through.

As you've namechanged are you happy to be more specific about the current step children situation @Tonotcauseissues ?

How many step children are there at the moment, how long have they been part of the family and to whom are they part of the family via? As many, many PP have said there is a huge difference if say your son has been married to someone for 18 years and has raised her 20yo child as his own versus your daughter who had recently married a man who has teenage children they only see every other weekend?

I don't know how it all works but can the trusts be set up to account for your current family situation but with rules in place going forwards? So if all current step children are long standing family members then they all get a trust but for the next generation it is bio and adopted children only (with some caveat the adoption is for under 5yo children only? Ie: older step children cannot be adopted to circumvent the bio / adoption rule)

Although I guess by including even this generation of step children you already move outside of the "bloodline".

To me it hinges on how the step children are related and how long they have been in the family.

What the fuck’s a family foundation? Do you just mean a tax efficient trust as a way of giving a stack of cash to your grandchildren? Why do they all need to join a board? If you’ve already made the decision as to who it goes to and for what expenses, what decisions in this board, of cousins who may not get along, going to make? If it’s to be spread down further generations just let the parents decide whether to be generous to their step children. Don’t overcomplicate it.

This.

No I don’t- we are not in the UK and we will pay wealth tax on the foundation and the company board runs the family businesses and assets of the foundation.

So not even adopted children ? That seems unlikely, given they are legally children of the family. Doubtful of that advice.

We are not in the uk and excluding adopted children is allowed but not an option we want. I am asking for family dynamic advice.

The trouble with step children is that if their parent divorces then they instantly become no relation to you at all. And very often that’s enforced by the parent themselves. So the area is just too grey. If they’ve been in the family for 5 years? What if it’s 4 and a half? If they’ve were under 10 when they became a stepchild? What if they were 7 but the parents didn’t get married until they were 11?

it’s all so complicated. What if they get all the benefits at 18/25 and their parents divorce the next day?

step children are different, and I think it’s OK to acknowledge that. It’s just life - the parents creating the blended family need to understand that, and it’s their responsibility to explain it to their children. That’s just how it is, it doesn’t have to be the travesty MN likes to make out.

Yes indeed- our children have never been DNA tested my husband knows they are his.

All good points

Strong disagree on this. I think she’s had bad professional advice. I’ve seen and advised many, many structures like this and never seen one that requires DNA testing.

There are lots of provisions for off the rails, long term and if no further generations it become charitable

And the answer s

This might be a bit brutal however in my eyes I think it’s fair…

I believe it should be limited to biological & adopted children for all benefits & a seat on the board. This includes half-siblings.
HOWEVER another child of the family, for example nieces/nephews or a current stepchild could be given a sum of money at the board’s discretion.
Stepchildren are only children of the family during their parents’ marriage. Financial help for them can be negotiated as part of a divorce financial settlement & should not involve the foundation.

One of the main points of the foundation is to stop any family assets being part of a divorce settlement

so how do you prove paternity?

This is the thing we have none we have 2 daughters age 11 and 6 so this is all hypothetical

And the answer another poster we can pay medical for health issues so any children with physical and mental tak health get support too.

Not sure if you saw my post above re same sex marriage and adoption, but I would include children of a non-marriage same sex partnership in jurisdictions where they are both allowed to be on the birth certificate - bearing in mind that a country that allows this is unlikely to go back but a child could move to a country where it isn't allowed.

what if one of your male children has a one night stand that produces a child? This child is not known about for 15 years as mother didn’t share the information (this is why I picked male having the one night stand!)

then came to you for funding?

But what if your grandkids don’t want anything to do with the foundation? It’s seems rather controlling of you to require them to be part of it once they’re 25? What if they want to bum round the world smoking weed?

Are there not any similar forums wherever you are then as you’re not in the UK?

(As an aside given the number of posters MN has that turn out not to be UK based, there’s surely a massive business opportunity to someone to create a similar site to MN in other countries, particularly the US, where people would get responses from people who know the legal and cultural context of the post.)

What is their rationale for this?

I wouldn’t include step children and would assume the family unit that is privileged enough to benefit from this will be able to level the playing field themselves. They could find their own money to match it, or choose to share it between the affected DC if that feels appropriate.

The wedlock provision originally suggested to us but that would have excluded our own children as we were unmarried.

Yes me too. How did you acquire that wealth?
X

i would imagine it was to stop a male heir being duped by a child not his own inside or outside of marriage.