Husband not happy with me working from home undertaking calls.

[ThisTealWarrior]

Hi all so my job role involves some court hearing. When I work from home and need to attend a hearing I usually do into the kitchen as there is a plain background rather then in the rest of the house with signs of family life behind. Now this morning I said to my husband I’ve got a hearing, not sure how long so avoid the kitchen while door is closed. About an hour into it just as I am speaking he comes into the room. He can hear me talking. If that was me I would think ok I’ll hang on a minute until she finishes. Instead he come in and starts making a drink! I’m indicating to him to leave the room. 10 minutes later there is a short break. I call to him to say come and make your drink I’ve got a 10 minutes break. I said to him he could see j was talking he could have just waited a short time. He says it’s his home and kitchen he should be able to make a drink when he wants. I can go somewhere else in the house and I shouldn’t be working at home performing sanatic rituals! And that I’m being horrible. I don’t even work from home. Yes my contract isn’t home based but it is easier at times, saves travel etc.

am I being unreasonable? Or is he? It’s only an hour or so. Yes I could could to an office at work but it means booking a room which isn’t available. He also works from home upstairs in the spare room, I never go in the room when he is working let alone if he was on an important call.

So he's a conspiracy nut who uses his delusion to denigrate your work. Not having him in.the same house as you would be a solution.

I don't think it's very reasonable to block the kitchen. In your situation, I would be looking for an alternative space to work.

Can you get Mumsnet to update your OP with the fact that is it only for about an hour and only occasionally. Also that your husband has exclusive use of an office upstairs.

It is a deliberate interruption.

Put a kettle and mini fridge in his office. Job done.

The next time he is bragging about being the main breadwinner I would ask him if he thinks being arrogant, condescending and disrespectful are attractive traits.

I would imagine that if you convinced him to let you have use of the study for court calls, he would find excuses to be popping in constantly to get something he “needed” or to see if you had finished yet. Just work at work until you can get your own home.

I work from home. The way I see it is I'm the one invading DHs domain so it's for me to find a quiet spot away from rooms that are required for normal life - i e living room, kitchen and bathroom!

Move to a bedroom and point you camera at the wall.

Why are you working in a space where your husband can hear confidential information? This sounds extremely unprofessional.

Your husband is a twat, but you absolutely need a private space to join a court hearing, and it shouldn't be anywhere that someone else might need to access. Not sure what type of court processes you're involved in but in COVID times when we joined online, courts were very clear that not being in a confidential, uninterrupted space could be a breach/contempt. On that basis it was the only thing we were allowed to book office rooms for at the time, because if we got booted off the call for it potentially our organisation would be fined, so I think you need to be stressing to work the importance of having that space available to book.

I am a Court Clerk - are you using CVP or DAVE? As both allow me to use a filter here? You can change it in settings. But would depend on your role.

He can’t hear, it’s a four story town house. I’m in the kitchen at the bottom he’s on the top floor. He can only hear if he came into the room.

Oh ok I will look into that. I didn’t think I could.
no not a court clerk.

I don’t think you should monopolise a shared space like the kitchen. Of course people come and go from this room - they need to eat and drink! I’d find a way of creating a neutral background in a different room.

He's the king of the castle then

This ^

If the only available room in her house is the kitchen and she is not permitted to use filters then the OP is unreasonable to be wfh remotely attending court hearings in the kitchen.

I mean the kitchen is one of the most used and busiest rooms in a house - what sensible person would use it?

The OP needs to find another room and hang a sheet over the background or buy one from amazon.

Yes he sounds a dick.

Also to add my husband hates how much time I spend with Judges as he thinks similarly to yours it seems lol

It’s an hour, he’s sabotaging you.

You have a 4 story house but there is no other room that you could work from?
I am sure there must be somewhere that had minimal personal stuff? A bookshelf or a window with either or drawn curtains would be perfectly acceptable backgrounds as an example.
He's being a twat either way but I do think yabu to work in a kitchen if no one else can come in when you are on a call

Is he always an arse? As MN says you have a DH problem.

Nobody in the house had worked from home before COVID. Then suddenly there were 4 of us here, with me the only one working full-time, and unsurprisingly, when I had important calls, the others managed to stay out of the space I was using, as they are grown adults who respect me and my job.

We never worked in the kitchen, but often in the dining room; this is the only route to the garden, and whilst not open to the lounge because the door between is not that great will pick up the TV sound. It wasn't a big ask for grown adults to not interrupt.

DH is by far the higher earner, but that doesn't mean he would disturb any other household member who was on a call. But then he isn't a knob.

If you made your 'D'H a drink before your call, would he leave you in peace?

If you genuinely can't blur or filter backgroind then you need to hang a sheet or something behind you and take your call from somewhere that doesn't mean your other family members can't use shared rooms. You should also use a headset so he can't overhear confidential information.

As long as it's not all day every day yanbu. DH is currently on a call in our kitchen, yes it's annoying, no I'm not going to walk in there and start boiling the bloody kettle.

It's also court based, he's going to be a while, hasn't even got his pentagrams out and the chanting is just getting started.....

So, he has a private study at home and you don't.
You need the space less than two hours a month.

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Generally, hogging kitchen would be unreasonable, but this is very mild limitation and maybe the best possible option at your home.
If he is that bothered, he needs to help you set up an alternative space at home, not walk onto you to prove he is a dickhead.

He sounds dreadful - have an LTB. What are his redeeming qualities, if any?

You're unreasonable, you should figure out a way to work from a bedroom where you're not inconveniencing anyone else. Your husband is being dick also.

Your husband sounds absolutely horrible

Oh god, your husband is a tin foil hat twat.
Get a physical screen to hang behind you and take the call in a room with a lock on the door.