Husband not happy with me working from home undertaking calls.

[ThisTealWarrior]

Hi all so my job role involves some court hearing. When I work from home and need to attend a hearing I usually do into the kitchen as there is a plain background rather then in the rest of the house with signs of family life behind. Now this morning I said to my husband I’ve got a hearing, not sure how long so avoid the kitchen while door is closed. About an hour into it just as I am speaking he comes into the room. He can hear me talking. If that was me I would think ok I’ll hang on a minute until she finishes. Instead he come in and starts making a drink! I’m indicating to him to leave the room. 10 minutes later there is a short break. I call to him to say come and make your drink I’ve got a 10 minutes break. I said to him he could see j was talking he could have just waited a short time. He says it’s his home and kitchen he should be able to make a drink when he wants. I can go somewhere else in the house and I shouldn’t be working at home performing sanatic rituals! And that I’m being horrible. I don’t even work from home. Yes my contract isn’t home based but it is easier at times, saves travel etc.

am I being unreasonable? Or is he? It’s only an hour or so. Yes I could could to an office at work but it means booking a room which isn’t available. He also works from home upstairs in the spare room, I never go in the room when he is working let alone if he was on an important call.

Could you not work from any room that is not the kitchen and set a background filter?

Can you not blur your background?

if you are both wfh then you need ground rules

Satanic rituals?
How often is the kitchen out of bounds?

The court video platform doesn’t allow filters. I work in the kitchen as it is a plain background and no one can walk behind me. I have been in meetings before where he has been known to walk behind me where my usual desk is. If I go in another room whenever I sit at the table by back will be facing the door so he is liable to walk in. I really don’t know what to do.

I hate people like this, of course it was deliberate. Is he is trying to sabotage or embarrass you? I wouldn't dream of doing this if DP was on a work call, particularly when you have previously warned him.

Even my son knows to text me to check it is OK to open the door for a quick coffee when I am on calls/camera at home and in the kitchen.

YANBU.

The platform I was using this morning doesn’t allow filters.

One a month if that for an hour or so.
He’s got a thing about the courts being linked to stone masons etc.

Just hang a sheet up in another room and work in front of that.

Your husband sounds rather a douche though, went the fuck is he mentioning satanic rituals?

What's his suggestion about resolving this?

You need to work in a non communal room and put a background on. Shutting household members out of the kitchen is completely unreasonable. It's also unprofessional to be discussing legal/confidential information with someone wandering within earshot.

Is this a reverse?

I’d consider buying a screen you can place behind you in that case.

Your DH is being an arsehole.

I go to the office but it’s not always possible to book a room. He says it’s my work’s problem not his. I think I will just need to do this moving forward.

I don’t know what you mean, is this a reverse?

Agreed!

Well if he works from home then you can too (just not in the kitchen).

I missed his satanic rituals comment. That's ridiculous conspiracy theorist bollocks. I expect he doesn't stretch as far as rejecting the income you earn from it!

If it’s once a month can’t you use the spare room he usually wfh in? Surely he can take his laptop anywhere

Kitchen is an incredibly inconvenient place to work from home.

i wouldn’t be ok with this

I wondered if you were posting from another point of view and it's actually your husband who hogs the kitchen and shuts you out.

Can you not share the spare room/his office set up? So when you have court hearings you use that space for an hour or so and he can sit in the kitchen? My husband works in our open plan space and I have the spare room as my office but we just swap over if he has an important pitch.

No this is a genuine post

Ok, I had voted YABU because being in the kitchen is a pain but based on your follow-up posts YANBU at all.

He's making it impossible for you to work anywhere in the house without him interrupting.

I think it depends how regularly this is happening. Once in a blue moon, husband should help you out. Otherwise, you should go into the office on court days.

I changed my vote when I realised that you can't blur your background and your husband is being an absolute dick. The issue at heart is that he doesn't respect you and that's not something in your control, so you're going to have to find a location that he can't sabotage.

If he can't accommodate this for an hour or so a month then there is something wrong here. It's not you, OP.

Your bigger problem is that your DH is a conspiracy theory lunatic.

But no, it's not unreasonable for him to avoid the kitchen for an hour or so mid morning.

I would suggest that if he's likely to want the kitchen, he can work down there and you take the office. I imagine he won't agree to that.