Husband not happy with me working from home undertaking calls.

[ThisTealWarrior]

Hi all so my job role involves some court hearing. When I work from home and need to attend a hearing I usually do into the kitchen as there is a plain background rather then in the rest of the house with signs of family life behind. Now this morning I said to my husband I’ve got a hearing, not sure how long so avoid the kitchen while door is closed. About an hour into it just as I am speaking he comes into the room. He can hear me talking. If that was me I would think ok I’ll hang on a minute until she finishes. Instead he come in and starts making a drink! I’m indicating to him to leave the room. 10 minutes later there is a short break. I call to him to say come and make your drink I’ve got a 10 minutes break. I said to him he could see j was talking he could have just waited a short time. He says it’s his home and kitchen he should be able to make a drink when he wants. I can go somewhere else in the house and I shouldn’t be working at home performing sanatic rituals! And that I’m being horrible. I don’t even work from home. Yes my contract isn’t home based but it is easier at times, saves travel etc.

am I being unreasonable? Or is he? It’s only an hour or so. Yes I could could to an office at work but it means booking a room which isn’t available. He also works from home upstairs in the spare room, I never go in the room when he is working let alone if he was on an important call.

I'm petty person.

If I had to go into the office in the future due to his shenanigans then I would be working out how much it cost me in fuel, parking etc and deducting that figure from my contributions to the household, if that's how you do your finances. Just to make a point that your job is as valuable as his.

Anyway as others have said, I think from a confidential aspect I would go into the office. Yes it's a pain, but just make sure your DH feels the pain as well if you get my drift 😂.

Edited I would never have to do this as DH isn't an arse

OP made it clear why the kitchen is the best room. She's on a video call to a court and does not want her personal photos on the walls of the other rooms displayed. Her kitchen wall is the only plain wall.

But really, she only needs the kitchen for one hour, once per month, this is a non-issue, he's deliberately being a prick.

Tell him to take a kettle up there and supplies.

This i dont think the kitchen is an appropriate space to be blocking for potentially lengthy periods of the day, surely you can find some other 2ft x2ft stretch of wall somewhere in your house that you can work in front of.

The kitchen is a high traffic area that people may want to use at all sorts of times and i dont think its reasonable to hog it in this way.

Honestly when my husband works from home he sets himself up in the kitchen and it's a pain in the neck when I need to get a drink during breaks in between meetings and he is the middle of a call. I do go into the kitchen and try to make my drink as quietly as I can, but out kettle is noisy. If you have anywhere else that you could sit to take these calls in the house, even if that means moving furniture about to get a plain background, you are being unreasonable!

I know from my husband working at home how annoying this is to not be able to use areas of the house or make a drink etc. I agree with your husband!

If DH or I need peace and quiet for a call we say so in advance and close the doors.

We can stay out of the way for an hour.

It's really not hard, especially when it's not frequent. If he wants a drink he can get one before your call, or after. If he has his own meetings he can work around it eg by having an extra kettle in his office or something.

Not for an hour a month though. I agree if it's every day.

It isn't a general illustration of anything other than the dick of a husband monopolising the study and barging in wherever she is working.

Read the OP's posts, it will save you misrepresenting the situation and looking like a fool.

Oh and court cases for the most part are open to the public.

Fit a bolt to the kitchen door.

You’re unreasonable to work from the kitchen.

However

Your updates make your husband sound like a massive, massive bellend.

How is he in the rest of your relationship?

I know from my husband working at home how annoying this is to not be able to use areas of the house or make a drink etc. I agree with your husband!
Id see your point if was 9 to 5 everyday Monday to friday butcodd hours here and there are easy to navigate if you communicate with each other.

He’s an unpleasant soul, isn’t he?

Next time he’s in his ‘office’ I would be tempted to get the vacuum cleaner out and clean the bedrooms, landing and stairs…and use a bristle brush to get into the stair corners which, unfortunately, can result in a banging noise…

If you are out more at the office, you’ll have to use whatever times you can for housework.

Well on the one hand working in the kitchen is a pain as it's too important a room to monopolise BUT if you gave him good warning your husband is just being embarrassingly childish for a grown man. He knows this is serious and important work and the fact that he would disturb you without good reason shows a real arrogance and lack of respect for your professional reputation.

Get yourself a screen so you can work in another room and tell him to grow up.

Hi I also do court work so understand you can not physically put a background on. Although not ideal each time you need to attend court you could clear a space in a room to make the background “more professional” or get a backdrop. Sounds like you have a husband problem though and there is more going on.

On occasion I’ve had to be in the kitchen to work my husband and children wait for me to finish my call before coming in because that’s basic manners surely.

Its unreasonable to inconvenience other people in the home. You shouldn't be using a communal area

I go to the office but it’s not always possible to book a room. He says it’s my work’s problem not his. I think I will just need to do this moving forward

Im sorry you have such a twat of an unsupportive dh. Sometimes things in life are less than jdeal and you may be a little inconvenienced but this is hardly causing him a hardship. He is deliberately being belligerent and awkward and trying to undermine you professionally.

So I put you are being unreasonable after reading your first post, I have now changed it to you are not being unreasonable after reading this post.

Basically although he works from home, he doesn’t want you working from home. He is being unreasonable, in fact he is being an arse.

We have a grey pop out background that we use for self tapes. It cost around £40 from Amazon. You can put it up close behind you.
He was being a knob, but its annoying to not be able to get a drink.

OP, I really don't understand why you have to go to the inconvenience of travelling and booking an office space just because The Important One is unwilling to facilitate an uninterrupted hour or so for you once a month or less. The kitchen is a red herring, he is not a nice man.

You could just get some large pieces of cardboard, paint it a plain block colour of your choice, or buy a self-adhesive vinyl roll, and make a portable 'screen' to pop behind you while on camera (there's plenty of YouTube videos to show you how). That way you can use anymore and free up the kitchen which really is an 'essential' room for the whole household to be able to use.

YABU work in another room that people don’t need to use

It's one hour only once ever? In that case yeah they should give them the room. Or even if it's an hour a day.

But having sensitive calls relating to court cases in a communal kitchen is obviously going to cause a certain level of issue for both worker and kitchen users occasionally.

Thank you to the suggestion of screens. My problem is I use the kitchen for such things as the table and chair is fairly close to the wall. There is no reason for him to come behind me in that room. Other rooms even with a screen up there is the chance he could. Bear in mind this is a man who when I was in a team meeting walked behind me when I was in my usual office area with no top on! I quickly turned off the camera and not think many people noticed as it was just starting but this is what I am dealing with. Not as bad as a court hearing but still not great.
I have to give him my attention when he wants to talk when j am working otherwise he says I am being horrible and that my work is causing me to do stressed. I have said when I am finished I can talk all you like just not during office hours. His argument is that it is our home and he is at home and so am I. He runs his own business so has no one else to answer to.

You can't ban people from the kitchen because you're working in there.

Find a room to work from, get a cheap plain backdrop, and put a lock on the door.

He's being unreasonable and possibly deliberately sabotaging your job. That's a whole other discussion.

Do you think he's willing to break the door when you're in the middle of court proceedings?