Husband not happy with me working from home undertaking calls.

[ThisTealWarrior]

Hi all so my job role involves some court hearing. When I work from home and need to attend a hearing I usually do into the kitchen as there is a plain background rather then in the rest of the house with signs of family life behind. Now this morning I said to my husband I’ve got a hearing, not sure how long so avoid the kitchen while door is closed. About an hour into it just as I am speaking he comes into the room. He can hear me talking. If that was me I would think ok I’ll hang on a minute until she finishes. Instead he come in and starts making a drink! I’m indicating to him to leave the room. 10 minutes later there is a short break. I call to him to say come and make your drink I’ve got a 10 minutes break. I said to him he could see j was talking he could have just waited a short time. He says it’s his home and kitchen he should be able to make a drink when he wants. I can go somewhere else in the house and I shouldn’t be working at home performing sanatic rituals! And that I’m being horrible. I don’t even work from home. Yes my contract isn’t home based but it is easier at times, saves travel etc.

am I being unreasonable? Or is he? It’s only an hour or so. Yes I could could to an office at work but it means booking a room which isn’t available. He also works from home upstairs in the spare room, I never go in the room when he is working let alone if he was on an important call.

I put that YABU because working from home shouldn't impact everyone else in the house. The solution going forwards is to set up in a room your husband won't need to use and have a screen for behind you like others have mentioned.
Your husband is unreasonable too though - courts are satanic?!

Personally I wouldn't do a hearing somewhere like a kitchen, and my WFH desk is in the kitchen. I would do it at work and if you can't book a room then you need to raise this at work.

Why does he get the proper study but you don’t?

Because he is the main earner and makes that known.

Either pin up a sheet on the wall behind you in another room or buy a green screen from Amazon (other colours available).

Go into a bedroom or somewhere and just turn yourself so you have closed curtains or something behind you. I think taking over the kitchen when you’re both home is a little bit selfish. If you had already been in there over an hour then I imagine your husband had no idea how much longer you would be. And surely due to gdpr you should be doing it elsewhere where you can’t be heard? You said he could hear you talking through the door, so you need to take yourself off to another room, out of earshot, especially as you don’t actually wfh, when you can’t be bothered to go to the office. If your husband wfh everyday then surely you need to work around him?

This is the problem. He doesn't respect your work as real work does he?

At ok, so your actual main problem is that he’s a cunt? And this is just one of the ways it manifests?

Then he is an Ar*h*e.

Seriously though. I wouldn’t go into a room that is in continual use. Purchase a blank screen for behind you. If he can’t keep out of one room then you need to have serious words.

He sounds like a complete twat. And your updates just keep making him sound worse.

Quite frankly i’d start by sabotaging him. This type of dickhead only learns when it’s done back to him.

If you don’t want to escalate it immediately, OP, give him a warning. Tell him you will use another room but you will close the door and he is not to enter while you are working. Blu tac paper to the door with ‘In a meeting, 10-12’ etc written on it. Tell him very clearly you expect to have that privacy respected. If he fails to do so you will start interrupting his work and he will regret it.

surely you just pull out the table so you can face the door?

are you saying if you told him you were going to be on a call in a room othe than the kitchen he would come in to talk to you?

The vote will be skewed op as you didn’t include in the op that there is only one study in the house which he takes as he believes himself superior. Or that it’s only an hour once a month.

why do you stay with an arsehole?

I assume you mean Freemasons.

Stone masons are just folk who build stone walls.

Oh yeah of course! That just made me laugh!

Surely it's not appropriate for you to have these type of calls in a non confidential space where your husband can hear what's going on?! If you don't have a suitable private space at home, you need to go into an office.

He wouldn’t hear if he didn’t come in the room when I have asked him not to for a short space of time.

He's being an arse. He should let you have the study once a month for an important and confidential work call if he can't cope without a fresh hot drink for an hour. He is not being fair or respectful, I suspect he's being difficult to make a point.

This! ^

I work in a box room which doubles as somewhere to hang laundry when it's wet out. No one on the calls knows that. Depending on the call I work with a background that is either "home office" or "corporate logo".

One of my colleagues is always on the beach, which strikes me as a trifle unprofessional but there's no reason to hog the kitchen to hide signs of family life.

Your husband sounds weird and disrespectful. He caused a racket when he could wait, and the satanic ritual thing is really weird. He has an issue with that but does he have an issue with the money you bring into the household that benefits him? Doe he do and say other weird thing? Cos that is strange!

Your husband has no respect for you. I was married to someone similar, Covid was utterly miserable as he really undermined my work. Anyway I am now single and happy and can work from whatever room I bloody well like. Highly recommended. Oh and my career has flown without the twat sabotaging and weighing me down, I earn more than he does now!!!

That’s really awful OP. I earn twice as much as my partner but his (lower paid) job requires him to use two screens whereas I can often manage with one so I usually give up our home office to him once a week when we’re both working from home.

The fact that you earn less than him shouldn’t play into the decision making as both workers need a suitable working environment regardless of salary. How can you put up with this?

Sound like he should give up 'his' office for an hour a month if he's that desperate to have access to the kitchen while you're on a call.