Which child is wrong-er

[Dancingwithmyselfoohooh]

Know it's not a word lol

Child A: Breaks something in their own pencil case by accident, is a bit upset and is trying to fix it

Child B: wants to know what happened, asks child A many times/repetitive asking and trying to look

Child A: Becomes fed up of Child A constantly asking, pushes them away in the chest (quite gently)

Child B: Doesn't like being pushed, pushes Child A back much harder, child A nearly falls over a chair, starts to cry and become very upset

Who is in the wrong here?

Child B is the most wrong.

But A could have dealt with it better.

Was there an adult involved at any time? Was there a witness to all this?

They are kids. Kids do this stuff. As long as it’s not part of a repeated pattern of bullying, you tell both of them off for scrapping and get on with life.

My answer depends on their age/developmental level.

Why didn't child A just say i broke x...what's with the secret squirrel bit?

But child B is a pain in the bum. So b overall

Teacher in the room, but didn't see

Child B
not sure how to vote though .

7 & 8

Both are wrong but Child A started this.
He should have picked up the pencil case and walked away, or just ignored Child B.

Secret squirrel?

It was just their thing, child A said what happened, child B keen to know more and wanted to see/be involved

Child B is nosey and interfering and needs to butt out when it’s nothing to do with them. Child A shouldn’t push either, but sounds like Child B wasn’t listening to Child A setting their boundary.

Child B following

It sounds like a silly squabble. I don’t think blame needs to be apportioned, it’s so silly it needs to be moved on from!
If my children had come home and recounted such a thing, I would have said “oh dear, never mind, I hope you’re friends again now?” And changed the conversation.
it’s nothing!

Then child b for being annoying, getting involved with things that didn't concern them and because they escalated to extream violence

Secret squirrel...well known TV cartoon about a spy who happens to be a squirrel...used in slang to indicate strange secretive behaviour.

I'm going to say child A as they were the first to push. But I sympathise, Child B sounds very annoying.

Child A very upset by it as pushed hard and others watching

They were both wrong, I'm guessing your child is A?

A 7 year old knows not to physically lash out because somebody's being annoying. They're in Y3/equivalent, not Reception. The other child shouldn't have shoved them back, but being pushed or shoved is always going to be more likely to get an instinctive reaction than being ignored or told to go away.

However, they found out what happens when they lash out and it may not happen again as a result. Ideally, they need to be at opposite ends of the classroom for a while at least to let things calm down - and calm is what is needed, not parents looking to blame the other child, whichever one that may be.

Mine is child A, i'm unsure what to think as she pushed first and obviously not happy about that and not happened before.
Child B pushed her back hard though, she was very upset and not talking, which is unlike her. They are friends, but he really seems to annoy her and be in her face a lot

Child A shouldn’t have pushed child B. You only have their word for it that it was done “gently”. Maybe they shouldn’t have made such a mystery of what was happening in their pencil case??

Child B confirned it was not a hard push
They weren't making a mystery, just concentrating on trying to fix it

It was obvious your child was child A even before you clarified. Your tone about child A is completely different to Child B so your description is loaded to gain sympathy for child A

Then it's child A.

They're old enough to know not to push. However gentle it was.

As a primary teacher of many years, child A would have had the consequence in my classtoom and child B would have had a talk with me.

100%. Your child was most wrong despite how you've tried to word it otherwise

It’s not something I’d be making a big deal of, or encouraging them to ruminate on. Regardless of which was my child, I’d talk through how they could have handled the situation better/differently, and leave it at that.

Wasn't intentional
Other mum has been on the phone unhappy
i'm unhappy with Dd for pushing first, she admits and knows she was wrong. However, she has complained about him before always in her face, repeating things and following her. Unsure what to do, have left it up until now as kids often fall out and wouldn't cross my mind to text another parent about this.
Have told her to just play separately and stay away, but then another complaint