To ask if my boyfriend doing this last night is ‘normal’?

[Helenaslide]

I was having a bath last night and he came in and used the loo (no.2). I shouted and asked what he was playing at and he said he has always done this with partners and vice versa as have plenty of people he knows. He stayed for a couple of minutes until he had finished and left laughing.

For context - together 4 months, he was staying at mine last night.

He has said he won’t do it again but I feel a bit humiliated by it tbh.

Not normal to poo when someone is in the bath. Horrible to do so.

Disrespectful

Unless he's got digestive issues and he warned you beforehand that it's a possibility

It's done now so nothing you can do about it but yes it is revolting.

You've told him not to do it again though so it should be ok from now on.

Consider putting a lock on the bathroom door.

Not normal , in my entire life no one has taken a dump in front of me .. even animals feel shame when they do it. Yuk

🤮 instant dumping offence imo. Pun intended.

Absolutely not normal. You were having a nice bath and he came and shit all over it. Literally. I have been married for 30 years and we don't even pee in front of each other. And this guy is doing a number two in your presence after 4 months?
He is testing boundaries. Shut that behaviour down right away.
Of course he was laughing - this was meant to embarrass you and make you feel bad.
Not sure how much you like this guy but for me it would end the relationship.

Not normal at all. Rank.

OMG No. That doesn’t bode well for you future together. Is he belching, farting, scratching his arse or picking his nose in front of you yet? All of those would be unacceptable to me.

Disgusting

This has never happened in any relationship I've ever been in

My ex husband used to do this. It’s a power play in my view, humiliating and degrading. I would never again tolerate such utter disrespect.

Absolutely not. Wees maybe if busting/you've reached that stage, poos absolutely no.

I include children and cats in that (we keep the litter box in the bathroom, I close the lid so they can't use it while I'm in the bath - they have other litter boxes, but like to hang out with me and will inevitably use it if I don't)

And he wants you to still fancy him after that?

4 months in?

I mean, my husband of 16 years wouldn’t do that, but 4 months, Jesus wept.

Omg absolutely not!!! I’m lucky in that I have a separate toilet and bathroom (plus an en suite) and if my boyfriend is round and “needs to use the facilities” he either goes upstairs if we are downstairs or downstairs if we are upstairs out of courtesy!

This is why you lock the bathroom door.

Hmm. I'm married 20 years and we would do this. However neither of us mind. If you do mind and he doesn't respect that going forward, that's an issue. So it's less about the action and more about his respect for your viewpoints and preferences. If you explained you didn't like it and he apologised and said he wouldn't do it again then that's ok. If he deliberately poos in your presence to piss you off then it's a dumping offence

Wee yes. I've gone in when leaking blood postpartum to clean up and he's in the bath but no, shitting is a step too far.

I usually do but as I was about to get in he suggested bringing me a glass of wine up so I left it unlocked for that reason.

What, he tricked you? OR expects you to drink wine in the same room he does a dump? Ew

Gross however many years together to do that.

Utterly revolting. Get rid.

Jesus Christ, no way!!

In 30 years I’ve never taken a dump with my OH in the bathroom and would wonder WTF was occurring if they did!! A slash doesn’t bother me, but not a dump!!!

No matter how well you know someone, there are limits!!

I have a situation down shower with a curtain rather than a bath, so there is no visuals to contend with, but my late OH and I were fine with the other popping in for a wee while we were in the shower. We both had disabilities that meant showering could take a solid half hour to finish as we'd need to stop and rest a lot. Sometimes we'd stay and chat for a bit.

Number 2 was "only in a total emergency" but as we both had bowel conditions it happened from time to time. The rule was to go as fast as you can, shut the lid immediately and crack the window to keep down smells.

We've been together 16 years and I'm often caring for DH who is now very unwell. I help him dress and he often has to break wind in front of me. He would be mortified to have to poop in front of me, let alone do it on purpose.

I would retch at the smell of someone else’s poo. Mine are quite fragrant