To ask if my boyfriend doing this last night is ‘normal’?

[Helenaslide]

I was having a bath last night and he came in and used the loo (no.2). I shouted and asked what he was playing at and he said he has always done this with partners and vice versa as have plenty of people he knows. He stayed for a couple of minutes until he had finished and left laughing.

For context - together 4 months, he was staying at mine last night.

He has said he won’t do it again but I feel a bit humiliated by it tbh.

My partner did that once but he does have genuine digestive issues and he was mortified. It was absolutely horrible. Luckily I have the window right by the bath and was able to breathe fresh air!

No it's not normal, yes it's disrespectful and he's a git. Sorry it wasn't your glass of wine.

I have been with my husband for 30 years and not once has he ever done this, nor would he! (or I!)
You shouldn't need to lock your door. He should respect your privacy, knock before he comes in (and only actually go in if invited) and certainly not have a poo while you're trying to relax in the bath
At only 4 months in I'd have to reconsider this relationship to be honest.

Nup,nup, what a minger. And only 4months in?! Chancing his luck. Throw this one back.

Yep a weird power play ..yuck

I saw what you did there...

That's not what I'd call a benefit 😂

If you've only got one toilet in the house, ideally you check before starting a bath/shower. But sometimes people genuinely need to go, even if they don't have any diagnosed problems. If it happens a lot, he should see a doctor.

ewww how awful.
The only time this would possibly be tolerated is in an extreme emergency (illness) and no other available toilet.
After only four months…, throw this one back. Yuck,

Yeah that’s worse tbh. He planned it.

It depends. We are 4 people living with one bathroom. Sometimes people have to go. They would certainly apologise and make it snappy.

33 years married, my DH absolutely would not do this, unless in an emergency, though I'd try and get out first in that instance, as would he, if I were in that position.

I'd be putting him in the bin!

I have three toilets. I was in the main bathroom, there is also an en-suite and downstairs loo.

Reading the replies has made me realise it was likely deliberate/making a point.

When you poo (and most especially when you flush poo away), you release tiny faecal particles into the air which can stay floating in the air for several minutes before settling onto nearby surfaces like towels and toothbrushes.

Depends on if you only one toilet. I have IBS and yes when I need to go I need to go no matters who's in the bathroom so my answer might be different. Ideally no but if one bathroom and the other person needs to go....

I’m sorry but that is just plain gross!!!!!

I have been married for 31 years & never would anyone in my household think that, that is normal behaviour.

If he had done that to me I would have been straight out the bath & kicking him out. Do people not have boundaries anymore?!?

OP, I seriously hope you are rethinking this relationship as there are too many red flags!

I guess it's a bit different if they can't help it/suddenly need a poo and can't hold it/can't wait, (and it only happens now and again,) but to do it on purpose and laugh about it is top-tier-twat behaviour.

What point do you think he was making?

Definitely not.

If you have 3 toilets, that was a test about boundaries and what you'll tolerate. It was definitely deliberate and a power play.

Massive ick.

And hes gas lighting you

No, it's grim. If he was desperate because of a stomach bug or something and that is only toilet it would be "normal" to tell you so you can quickly jump out of bathroom.
And I say this as someone whose partner will (v rarely) come in and use the toilet (for a wee) while I'm in the shower. Which I feel is grim but not as grim.

What a fucking pig! Leave him to wallow in his own stinking filth, OP, and enjoy your baths, with or without wine, in peace, free from Parfum de la Merde D'Homme. 💩

@Helenaslide With two other toilets available he was definitely making a point and testing you. He needs to become your ex-BF. He’ll keep doing this sort of thing to you.

Nope If you’ve got other loos this was bang out of order. Time to move him on.

My exh did this once. I’m not saying this is why he is my ex but I never got over the ick. Absolutely rank behaviour. What is wrong with some people.

ETA: bad enough with the original post. The fact there are two other toilets makes this infinitely worse. LTB