AIBU to question preschool after inconsistent explanation for toddler's scratch?

[Roseypurple]

Just need to advice on steps to take:
My toddler just recently got enrolled at a preschool and I’ve been really optimistic about it. We did the usual enrolment stuff and even attended a settling in session with her (parents were invited to see the setting and see a little bit of free play etc) and it was all fine. Fast forward to her first ever day at the setting and of course I had the usual parental jitters at leaving my toddler but I got over it quickly. I then get updated on the preschool parent app around lunch time that my toddler was basically accidentally “scratched” by an “adult”. The description was incredibly vague and basically says that she “moved and walked into an adult”. This already made no sense. I waited until collection time to briefly ask what happened and to also see the actual “mark” before decided how to proceed; and the staff member gave me a slightly different account saying that they were lining the kids up to wash their hands before lunch and my toddler turned around and “someone” (yes she used the word “someone” scratched her face. As it was pick up time and we all know how busy it gets I just nodded and she then added “everything is on the app in the report”, almost like she’s ushering me on my way. When we got home and saw the mark on her face, it was a small superficial mark showing some redness where the minor bleeding must have happened. I’m very concerned because I don’t understand how on her first day she’s been injured by an adult and the explanation is not adding up. My husband is fuming and I’m concerned he may try to cause a scene when we try to get a more thorough explanation of who this adult is and how my child ended up “walking” into her nail(s). At the moment I’m not comfortable sending her back. Even if it was a complete accident as I completely understand nurseries and preschools can have situations like this but the explanation doesn’t add up. Should I wait to hear a more thorough explanation or remove her from the setting? What if it was a genuine mistake?😭

I used to work in a nursery setting years ago and I’m sure that the staff member involved is mortified, I know I would have been. Accidents do happen, you could ask for a clearer explanation to put your mind at ease.

You sharing this is not alarming because you explained how it happened. As I’d mentioned, it was the explanation that was poorly written and caused alarm. Not looking for an essay from the school or a lesson on semantics whenever there’s an issue.

I don’t want anything. I was initially concerned about their explanation of how my child got a mark on their face, I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt of it just being a first time incident and moving on. I’m not looking to get the armed response team involved or start a campaign to get schools/nurseries up and down the nation closed. What’s happened is people have been triggered by a concerned mother and projected their own anger and confusion onto my post and drawn conclusions and deviated completely from the post itself and started talking about random things that really have no place here. They said it was accident, they reported it to me, I didn’t understand their explanation and felt concerned, they explained again at pick up - it still didn’t really sit well, I pondered a little but feel satisfied it’s nothing more than what they said or negligence etc (after continuing to observe my child). My husband isn’t going to storm in and flip tables, we’re not trying to destroy staff reputations, we don’t hate nurseries, we’re not on a secret campaign to get teachers to quit teaching, we are just concerned parents that is all.

My husband is fuming and I’m concerned he may try to cause a scene when we try to get a more thorough explanation of who this adult is and how my child ended up “walking” into her nail(s). At the moment I’m not comfortable sending her back

Well you did say you thought he was going to literally go into nursery and cause a scene in your OP so don't be surprised when people... think that.

It’s horrible the first few times your child gets a cut or bruise somewhere but you’re going to have to learn to let these go as part of childhood. My DDs have come home from nursery & school over the years with bite marks, an accidental sewing injury, a broken bone and sooooo many scrapes and bruises. Obviously I got explanations for the first 3 (and didn’t judge the setting on any of them) but (normal) bruises do regularly appear and I do just think “oh well that’s probably kids being clumsy”.

My DD10 never doesn’t have a bruise on her legs - she just like outdoor play and isn’t overly careful / bruises easily.

I was in a shopping centre and somehow my knee collided with a child's head.

It was a complete fluke, probably couldn't have done it on purpose if I tried a hundred times.

OP, these minor accidental things happen. Worse things will most likely happen too

My DS broke his arm in PE and on another occasion somehow managed to get a wasp trapped up the leg of his shorts while running around on the school field at lunchtime.

Yes I agree, I do have to learn to let these little incidents go, 100%.

Yes, I understand how writing this may have put images into people’s heads of him storming into the setting violently, screaming at everyone and demanding answers etc. That’s not what I meant.

When I was teaching I once accidentally whacked a child in the face with a book bag giving them out at hometime and the child stood up unexpectedly during carpet-time 🙈 had no time to write an accident form so spoke to mam at pick up who was lovely! I did obviously complete the accident form afterwards

Huge over reaction. It was probably just a finger nail caught her or something.
My ds walked into his keyworker as she turned around and it knocked him flying , he hit his head on the corner of a unit. Huge bruise and lump.
Accidents happen and his keyworker was so apologetic, called me and gave me the paperwork on collection to sign .
I wouldn't bat an eyelid over a teeny scratch.

Just wait till they get to reception. Or school nursery with forest school.

Staff don’t have time to write detailed explanations for every incident. It would mean there’s no time to spend with children supporting their learning. I don’t understand why ‘your child was accidentally scratched by an adult and caused a tiny mark’ isn’t enough. You either trust them to tell you the truth and look after your child or you don’t and therefore remove them from the setting.
I imagine your volunteering was probably sitting in a room listening to readers. A gentle task. If you had worked in a busy classroom with 30+ children then you wouldn’t even be asking this question.

I think it not making sense to you is a reflection of your lack of critical thinking skills to be honest.

Jesus. You both sound nutty. For everybody's sake keep her at home.

Your 'concern' about the explanation is massively disproportionate, though.

It's a quick explanation of a kid bumping into someone and getting a tiny scratch, not the Iraq War inquiry. You are massively, massively overthinking it. The explanation doesn't have to be forensically detailed because it's such a minuscule incident. Everyone else involved, including your child, probably forgot all about it three seconds after reporting it and can't now even fully remember what happened because it was entirely insignificant.

I mean it’s quite self explanatory, she was accidentally caught with someone’s nail. There’s not a lot more they can say other than that.

I get that you’re a first time mum and it’s never nice when your kid comes home from any setting with an injury but believe me, this is a complete non issue and being ‘fuming’ over it is completely disproportionate.