AIBU to question preschool after inconsistent explanation for toddler's scratch?

[Roseypurple]

Just need to advice on steps to take:
My toddler just recently got enrolled at a preschool and I’ve been really optimistic about it. We did the usual enrolment stuff and even attended a settling in session with her (parents were invited to see the setting and see a little bit of free play etc) and it was all fine. Fast forward to her first ever day at the setting and of course I had the usual parental jitters at leaving my toddler but I got over it quickly. I then get updated on the preschool parent app around lunch time that my toddler was basically accidentally “scratched” by an “adult”. The description was incredibly vague and basically says that she “moved and walked into an adult”. This already made no sense. I waited until collection time to briefly ask what happened and to also see the actual “mark” before decided how to proceed; and the staff member gave me a slightly different account saying that they were lining the kids up to wash their hands before lunch and my toddler turned around and “someone” (yes she used the word “someone” scratched her face. As it was pick up time and we all know how busy it gets I just nodded and she then added “everything is on the app in the report”, almost like she’s ushering me on my way. When we got home and saw the mark on her face, it was a small superficial mark showing some redness where the minor bleeding must have happened. I’m very concerned because I don’t understand how on her first day she’s been injured by an adult and the explanation is not adding up. My husband is fuming and I’m concerned he may try to cause a scene when we try to get a more thorough explanation of who this adult is and how my child ended up “walking” into her nail(s). At the moment I’m not comfortable sending her back. Even if it was a complete accident as I completely understand nurseries and preschools can have situations like this but the explanation doesn’t add up. Should I wait to hear a more thorough explanation or remove her from the setting? What if it was a genuine mistake?😭

You're saying you get this but then go on to say we don't ever accidentally injure the kids.
Accidents are just that, unplanned. I doubt the examples this poster gives were done intentionally and you can see the list earlier where I have put similar about standing on fingers and so on.
I think it's quite easy for things to happen that aren't expected. If it was something big that happened then they would have spoken to you about it in detail (I had forgotten but we also had a flip chart fall on a child and the teacher spoke to the parents at the end of the day alongside giving them the accident form).

It’s a scratch. It’s fine.
they are good to update you at lunchtime!!! Do you need updates every few hours?? Seems extreme to me, this is a huge overreaction.

Thank you for understanding my concern. We all have different thresholds for worry, mine is different and unique to me, what may completely mean nothing to one parent could mean alarm bells for another. No one is better than another.

I didn’t write anything about needing hourly or frequent updates, this is your own conclusion.

Your child hasn’t been injured - it’s a scratch

Unfortunately there are a lot of Mumsnetters very quick to condemn someone as overreacting without understanding the wider picture.

The top way to keep children safe is don't trust everyone and make sure you ask questions.

That's a load of rubbish.
It's easy to bump into kids because they are small, don't watch where they're going and move around a lot.

Never?????

I don't believe this. You've never bumped into a child. Or dropped a coat / book / toy that touched a child. Or tossed a toy into a toy box which caught a child's hand. Or tripped over a little one who appeared from nowhere.

Because if nothing like that has ever happened you must be superwoman. Children / schools are minor injury conflict zones. In the same way they're infection zones (coughs, colds, tummy bugs, warts, germs).

It's part and parcel of being one of loads of kids in a confined space.

I gave my toddler a lovely facial scratch with a rather glamorous belt buckle once.

Are you suggesting a member of staff deliberately scratched your child?

Both my kids have been in nursery from 10 months to 4.

OP you must be aware these things happen. My two have been bitten and hit by other kids, my son fell off a stool and needed stitches (his key worker was devastated!) and my daughter dragged her hand across a wall which scabbed over on a walk.

I question these things, review the incident form and then move the hell on - kids get injured. Accidents happen.

OP is asking a question because the explanation doesn't sit quite right with her. She isn't saying that the nursery staff are sharpening their nails to claw at the faces of the young. It may just be the way the info was communicated was poor.

If this is how you react to an incredibly minor accident, I'd hate to see you deal with anything significant.

Child has accidentally collided with a staff members hand and has a little scratch. It has been explained via the app and in person. What further communication could possibly be needed? Don't feed into the drama.

"I question these things, review the incident form and then move the hell on - kids get injured. Accidents happen"
OP is questioning the thing. That's the stage she is at. I don't see a need for people to pile on to OP about it. Her child has only just started there - OP only has day 1 to go on.

If you believe it wasn’t intentional who tf cares about the semantics of the description given at pick up vs the app? They’re largely the same, an adults nail caught your child by mistake as they moved in a way the adult didn’t anticipate.

I genuinely don’t understand the difference! It’s not like one person said she scratched herself and another account said an adult did it.

It’s a minor catch and an accident so please just don’t be “that mum” 😳

There is no drama. OP isn't suggesting she's about to burn down the nursery.

I'm going to guess none of the Mumsnetters objecting to a mum's concern on this has ever asked their nursery how many Welfare Requirement Notices they have nor asked Ofsted for info on WRNs across nurseries. Ignorance is bliss on this one but I wouldn't advise it.

OP - on MN you'll be judged for being too concerned and judged for not being concerned enough. Follow your own instinct.

There should be an accident form that you needed to sign. The person whose nail your child walked into should have written the form explaining what happened. You will be able to read it.

i do think you are overreacting , you’ve admitted it’s a small scratch which you don’t believe was deliberate. End of.

please don’t be “that” parent. At my work we are dealing with 2 of those parents just now and it’s tiring!

Her child was poked by a nail.

Also-it may not have been a nail-she may have scratched herself on the grown up’s belt, or some sort of decoration on her clothes.

You make no sense.
you understand that you have previously accidentally scratched your child and left a mark but cannot understand how exactly the same thing has happened elsewhere?

how will you react when she comes home with a bruise on her leg or somewhere, you haven’t been informed and she tells you she doesn’t know how she got it?

How is what OP wrote no drama?

My husband is fuming and I’m concerned he may try to cause a scene when we try to get a more thorough explanation of who this adult is and how my child ended up “walking” into her nail(s). At the moment I’m not comfortable sending her back.

All of this is completely over dramatic. A child moved and accidentally caught someone’s nail. OPs and her husband’s reactions to that are fully over the top.

You're very confident in a third hand account from messages you've not seen and a conversation you've not heard about an incident you've not witnessed. More confident that the OP who has visited the nursery and met them and presumably done some research on them beforehand.

Not sure what the issue is in OP asking for a quick chat to the nursery about it. It would have been quicker and easier than reading MN posts which have largely been patronising, judgey and belittling.

No sorry. This isn't motherly instinct. It's a fusspot looking for something to fuss amount. OP and her "fuming" DH will do their child more harm acting like this than a scratch will.

People are conflating OP's husband's response with OP's. OP is anxious not fuming.

They probably can't remember as it's so minor. They followed the correct safeguarding, documented it & communicated it to you.

Give it a year & you will dread the endless calls from the school asking you to pick them up for the most minor scrapes that the child doesn't even seem aware of.