AIBU to question preschool after inconsistent explanation for toddler's scratch?

[Roseypurple]

Just need to advice on steps to take:
My toddler just recently got enrolled at a preschool and I’ve been really optimistic about it. We did the usual enrolment stuff and even attended a settling in session with her (parents were invited to see the setting and see a little bit of free play etc) and it was all fine. Fast forward to her first ever day at the setting and of course I had the usual parental jitters at leaving my toddler but I got over it quickly. I then get updated on the preschool parent app around lunch time that my toddler was basically accidentally “scratched” by an “adult”. The description was incredibly vague and basically says that she “moved and walked into an adult”. This already made no sense. I waited until collection time to briefly ask what happened and to also see the actual “mark” before decided how to proceed; and the staff member gave me a slightly different account saying that they were lining the kids up to wash their hands before lunch and my toddler turned around and “someone” (yes she used the word “someone” scratched her face. As it was pick up time and we all know how busy it gets I just nodded and she then added “everything is on the app in the report”, almost like she’s ushering me on my way. When we got home and saw the mark on her face, it was a small superficial mark showing some redness where the minor bleeding must have happened. I’m very concerned because I don’t understand how on her first day she’s been injured by an adult and the explanation is not adding up. My husband is fuming and I’m concerned he may try to cause a scene when we try to get a more thorough explanation of who this adult is and how my child ended up “walking” into her nail(s). At the moment I’m not comfortable sending her back. Even if it was a complete accident as I completely understand nurseries and preschools can have situations like this but the explanation doesn’t add up. Should I wait to hear a more thorough explanation or remove her from the setting? What if it was a genuine mistake?😭

Oh lord they get scratched, they scratch, get bitten and bite, fall over and all sorts

what do you want the nursery to do if you complain?

Also, please think carefully. You don't want to become unpopular with the staff.

Over the course of their childhood (and their adult life), your child will get millions of knocks, bumps, bruises, scratches, cuts. They will run into things, fall over, hit their head, hit their face. These are completely normal things. Toddlers are notoriously unsteady on their feet, clumsy, don’t look where they are going, make quick movements and can’t assess risks well.

An incident where a child has rushed and turned around quickly and straight into an adult hand that was hovering behind him seems a completely normal situation to me. You’ll inadvertently “hurt” your kid this way many times in your life too. It happens. Let it go. This is something you need to give no thought to. It’s an accident. That’s literally what the word means. The vast majority of accidents at nursery doesn’t mean an adult was being incompetent or careless, it’s just circumstance and timing and par for the course when working with wriggly small children.

You and your DH need to get a grip of yourselves.

I am genuinely baffled at what you think doesn’t add up and what you possibly think could have happened? You have said yourself it’s a superficial mark so it doesn’t sound like an adult has taken against her and clawed her face

This gets worse! I think you need to give up work (if you do work) and look after your DC yourself. (Then come back one day and tell us how many accidents she had with you in charge?)

Oh, you have a long, hard road ahead of you in primary school….

And tell your husband if he ‘makes a scene’ he is likely, at the very least, to be banned from the school premises.

1. can they explain how exactly my toddler got the mark on her face, as in, was she running and the adult’s hand happened to be in her direction? Did she simply turn and get scratched? What exactly caused her to get scratched?
2. we got two different explanations - saying a toddler “walked into an adults nails” and another saying that she “turned around and *gestures what happened” is not the same.

if this had been made clear on the app then I really wouldn’t have been concerned.

If you're concerned ask to see their accident book. It should be recorded there. I assume they still do that.

YABVU and absolutely ridiculous. Your kid got scratched. Big deal. Now move on with your life 🤦‍♀️

Yes, I agree with this.

You are really, really overthinking this. It’s a scratch, it definitely won’t be the last time your child is injured. You are going to come across really badly to the staff if you even mention this to them again.
despite everyone on this thread saying the same thing, you still can’t see how unreasonable and ridiculous you are being.
Cut your losses now and look after your child yourself.

Does it matter?

This is literally the same thing 😂
She was standing in the line and turned around/stepped into the adults hand.
An adult's hand is face height to a toddler!

Should it not?

Total over-reaction. And this is just day 1. Heaven help the staff.

It was a tiny accident. You've said yourself it was 'small, superficial' and that there was 'minor bleeding'.

I am not sure what you want clarifying..either way your toddler bumped into an adult and got scratched.
Things like this are so easy to happen. In primary KS1 kids constantly run into each other, I have stood on a child's hand when they suddenly stretched out and put their hands on the floor and not on their lap, I have tripped over a child's legs and fallen, passing a chair to another member of staff a child got bumped on the head, one child shut the door and another child's fingers were in it....
The list goes on of all the things you might encounter!

I don't know what kind of detail you want them to go into but both explanations are absolutely fine and you are trying to see a problem where there really isn't one. People explain things slightly differently, it doesn't mean they were lying or not telling you what happened.

"Adult scratched child"
"Child accidently walked into adults hand and was scratched by their nail"
"Child turned around and bumped into adults hand resulting in a scratch on their face"

That's all the same thing.

Those "two different explanations" are describing the exact same bloody thing 😂

Gently OP, they are the same thing. Both are valid reasons for your child getting scratched in the face. The hairline difference between the explanations is so insignificant and negligible, it makes not once difference to the outcome or your feelings on it. A toddlers face is the same as hand height of an adult. A toddler turning round quickly and smacking into the hand of an adult and a toddler not looking and quickly running a few steps forward and smacking onto the hand of adult are virtually almost the same thing. Both accidents, both normal events in a nursery and both meaningless. Nobody has been incompetent here. This is a normal thing that happens to toddlers. A toddler would probably scratch their face in a padded room with no objects or adults in it!

Gosh, what’s funny is how a genuine parental concern is being misconstrued as me being those unbearable nit picky parents that are constantly trying to forensically investigate every issue. Far from it. Anyway, what am I actually expecting from strangers reading a post with their own opinions and drawing inferences from certain triggering parts of my post - ah well.

I would call the manager and ask them.

I am a bit clumsy. I’ve scratched my children more than once with neat nails.

This is SO nit picky. You're about to be that mum.

You don’t know anything about me or the type of mum I am.