AIBU to question preschool after inconsistent explanation for toddler's scratch?

[Roseypurple]

Just need to advice on steps to take:
My toddler just recently got enrolled at a preschool and I’ve been really optimistic about it. We did the usual enrolment stuff and even attended a settling in session with her (parents were invited to see the setting and see a little bit of free play etc) and it was all fine. Fast forward to her first ever day at the setting and of course I had the usual parental jitters at leaving my toddler but I got over it quickly. I then get updated on the preschool parent app around lunch time that my toddler was basically accidentally “scratched” by an “adult”. The description was incredibly vague and basically says that she “moved and walked into an adult”. This already made no sense. I waited until collection time to briefly ask what happened and to also see the actual “mark” before decided how to proceed; and the staff member gave me a slightly different account saying that they were lining the kids up to wash their hands before lunch and my toddler turned around and “someone” (yes she used the word “someone” scratched her face. As it was pick up time and we all know how busy it gets I just nodded and she then added “everything is on the app in the report”, almost like she’s ushering me on my way. When we got home and saw the mark on her face, it was a small superficial mark showing some redness where the minor bleeding must have happened. I’m very concerned because I don’t understand how on her first day she’s been injured by an adult and the explanation is not adding up. My husband is fuming and I’m concerned he may try to cause a scene when we try to get a more thorough explanation of who this adult is and how my child ended up “walking” into her nail(s). At the moment I’m not comfortable sending her back. Even if it was a complete accident as I completely understand nurseries and preschools can have situations like this but the explanation doesn’t add up. Should I wait to hear a more thorough explanation or remove her from the setting? What if it was a genuine mistake?😭

Kindly, I think you’re massively overreacting.

She’s banged into an adult a got a wee scratch.

it’s really not that big a deal. You are both blowing this out of proportion.

Very easy to accident scratch a child. I think your general anxiety about handing over your child is impacting your reaction to it. If you’re not ready to let go and trust others yet, then don’t.

What are you implying exactly?

I’ve accidentally scratched my kids quite a few times - it happens!

It’s a scratch, you have years of this

Who do you think the adult was if not one of the nursery workers?
Their explanation (both versions) sound like a genuine accident.
Children were lining up, your child moved and accidentally got scratched.

This is an enormous over reaction
your child will get a million knocks, bumps and bruises
at some point your child will cause an injury or bite someone
the fact you’re thinking of pulling your child out is such an OTT reaction to a common place incident
your DH has no right to go in fuming to the staff and cause a scene

they do add up.

they were lining the kids up to wash their hands. your toddler turned around / moved and walked into an adult who scratched her face.

walked into doesn't have to mean great distances. she turned around aka moved which probably involved a step or two given how unstable toddlers can be.

why could you not look at her before you got home? why couldn't you look at her outside the room?

why is your husband going to cause a scene and what does this mean? do you think someone deliberately scratched her?

she moved and walked into an adult is the same as she turned round and someone scratched her face.
What's different? Moved is the same as turned moving is turning, turning is a movement. walked into someone is how someone's nail caught her.

It's the same explanation in different words.
It's a very minor incident that was recorded. It's really not a big deal.

Is it that you want the name of the person whose nail caught her cheek?

FGS get a grip of yourself. You both sound like parents from hell in training.

I work with children. This happens all the some. They also never name the other person. I think you’re over reacting to be honest.

You are completely overreacting. It's a small, superficial scratch. They happen all the time.

Tell me you are a complete overreacting first time parent without telling me.

OP you and your husband are in for a very bumpy ride if you are reacting like this already.

Very concerned? Fuming? Your hyperbolic language doesnt help either.

I once scratched DD’s face badly and I don’t wear false nails - she turned round in the dark and ran towards me (we were actually outside nursery at pick up) and I put my hands out to catch her and she ran into my nail face first. She must have been younger than 2 because DS wasn’t born. It was a total accident - we both misjudged distance/velocity in the dark. It’s really easily done and I don’t think it’s grounds for taking a child out of nursery, especially as a first incident.

This sort of thing happens all of the time. I don’t understand why you think that it ‘doesn’t add up’.

In accident reports, you never put names. You don’t say ‘James pushed Sam off the scooter’ or ‘Lucy ran in to Sandra when she was supposed to be lining up nicely to go to the toilet and Sandra’s fingernail scratched Lucy’s face’. You write ‘Lucy was moving and was accidentally scratched by an adult’.

I agree with everyone else, it’s an accident and these things happen.

I have stood on a child fingers before when they moved on the carpet just as I was walking by. Thankfully no injuries but I still felt bad even though it was a pure accident

Yes I agree your overreacting. Shame it happened on her first day but these things do happen. I don’t see the explanations as different- they were lining the children up, DD turned round and walked into her nail. I would imagine she had her finger out stretched pointing at something or similar. The preschool absolutely should not be naming the person- an adult or a peer is all a parent should be told for a small incident like that. The only thing I would have expected the staff to say which they haven’t (or you haven’t mentioned it) is that they will remind the staff to ensure their nails are short.

Just to add - how many suitable, decent nurseries are there in your area with availability? I would have thought you’d struggle to find many alternatives.

Agree with all PP. This stuff happens, even in a really well-run nursery. They put it on the app immediately and told you at pick up. Probably the staff member you spoke to at pickup wasn’t the one who saw it happen so didn't know the details to tell you, which is why she directed you to the app.

I have a tiny scar on my face where I was cut by a lose screw on the side on my dad’s glasses when he picked me up for a cuddle when I was a baby. These things happen…

She walked into someone’s hand. There’s nothing inconsistent there, are you trying to imply someone deliberately attacked her?

And what does the report on the app say?

Huge overreaction - children run into others -scratches, bumps and bruises are the norm.

I stood on a kid’s foot today, total accident, I apologised, it happens

We moved house and on my son 's first day at the new secondary school they had a lockdown (not a drill) because a teacher thought they saw a kid with a knife (it wasnt).

I was very anxious and thought "what hellhole is this I've sent him to? " but it was just an unfortunate one off and the school has been great since.

These things happen.

The explanation seems quite clear to me?

They don't want to tell you the name of the specific adult because of this
My husband is fuming and I’m concerned he may try to cause a scene when we try to get a more thorough explanation of who this adult is and how my child ended up “walking” into her nail(s)