AIBU to ask for advice on how to overturn a school decision - quickly

[Canwehavesesomesanityback]

What can I do to overturn a school decision - quickly? It is regarding mobile phones. The school has introduced a no phones at school policy. If a teacher is on a journey home and sees a child on a phone, they will “chase them down the street and snatch it out of their hand” as it shows they had a phone in school.

There was a horrible and frightening incident fairly near school today. So whilst school were busying themself with catching children out for taking a blazer off at a bus stop or using a phone after school, my child was involved in something bloody terrifying. I’ve been up half the night. It should involve the police, but we are not going down that road and time would have been of the essence anyway. My husband was driving about a minute away from her at the time, happily oblivious. I’m shaken up, but also feel in an impossible situation.

This occurred close to school, with a couple of friends, in daylight with people nearby. Her journey also includes much larger elements where she’s on her own and secluded. I’m really fucking angry and revolted too (huge understatement) that the school have the power to dictate the removal of a tool for use outside of school, compromising my child’s safety.

As a bare minimum, I want a brick phone allowed in school - turned off, handed in, confiscated if used or seen - I don’t care. I want them to find a way that the other 97% of schools do, so that my child has access to a phone, even if it’s just a brick phone, should she need it out of school.

They have lots of draconian rules, appear very rigid and authoritarian. I can grit my teeth on those. I cannot grit my teeth on this one. It’s a very large academy, gives the impression so far that “we are always right and totally trustworthy” and others will have it wrong or lie. Please help. How best to approach a school that seems terrified of giving an inch, (whilst it simultaneously encroaches the fuck and takes miles) to get an outcome that will make my child safer out of school.

If you’ve read this far, please help. I also believe from what I’ve seen so far that if I raise this, the school will frequently check my daughter’s bag. I am willing to now break the rules on this, but obviously can’t keep replacing mobiles and she shouldn’t have to be punished by school for it either.

Sorry but no. Your kid doesn’t need a phone, whether that’s a smartphone or a brick.

If you don’t like the school rules then pull your kid out and go elsewhere.

Honestly I wouldn’t raise it, I’d just give my
child a phone, ensure she knows to keep it off and hidden during the school day, and warn her to only use it in an emergency on the way home. If a teacher did see her using it in an emergency then either they would allow the use of the phone or they’d intervene in the emergency.

Well, there's department of education guidance of circumstances teachers can search children, including searching their bags, so you can check that's being followed. Blanket searches aren't allowed, and there has to be a reason to suspect a child has a restricted item, and then there's guidance about asking permission, informing parents and doing the search in private.

Has there been an official communication about "chasing and snatching"? That sounds extremely unusual. Any chance your dc has misunderstood?

Ultimately the school can insist rules are followed, even if you don't agree with them, so if you don't support the phone ban you either need to suck it up or move schools. You can ask for an exception if you have a reason?

I'm not a huge fan of the current phone ban trend, I also have dc who travel long distances on unreliable school transport, but you might have to find an alternative that works, maybe a watch? Or a location tag so you can check where they are?

😂 to a teacher ‘chasing down’ a student on a mobile phone out of school- no chance!

The problem is, this is a government stipulation- no phones to be used in schools. Different schools are managing this in different ways: phone locks, handing in phones etc. Most of these are time consuming or expensive. I can see why this school has gone for (from their POV) the easiest option.
If you truly want to change this, send an email to the headteacher, CC in the chair of Governors. Request a review of policy and explain your reasoning. It may be that other parents feel the same, if they do, you may find a review takes place.

As a teacher, there is no way in the world I would ever chase a child down the street (especially after the school day has ended) and snatch something out of their hands unless of course they were in some kind of danger.
I’d be asking for clarification on this policy as of course teachers are no more allowed to put hands on pupils and snatch things from them than any other member of the general public would be.
Strict government guidelines have been introduced regarding mobiles in schools and it sounds like your school has overreacted somewhat. Most schools are doing exactly what you suggest and are collecting in phones and keeping in a locked box until the children leave the premises.

How do you know that she doesn’t need a phone, when her own parents know her, know her route home, know that parts of it are secluded, and believe that she does in fact need a phone for her safety? I wouldn’t go walking around secluded places alone without my phone, I can’t imagine why you expect a child to.

No child needs a phone. Neither does an adult, come to that.

I got my kid a watch with a sim card in it since the school rules changed.

However if a teacher, out of school, chased down my kid and took their phone I would be inclined to call the police. It's not their place.

Would having a phone have helped in the situation your dd found herself in?

The issue is the incident not the phone thing. The phone would not have stopped an assault or whatever horrible thing happened. And you should involve the police if a crime was committed.

A phone does not make someone safe. It’s delusional to think it does.

My teenager was mugged because she had her phone in her hand at the time, which I have warned her about a million times. DC who walk around phone in hand are a target. If yours has common sense (and you stop to breathe for a minute) I'm sure you could figure out that DC could turn their phone off, put it away, not tell all their mates that they have their phone and keep it in their bag for emergencies.

As long as her phone is always completely off and at the bottom of her bag, and she never uses it directly outside school, she will be fine to keep taking it to school; no staff will ever know. (I say this as a teacher who works at a school with a total phone ban)

Sounds like your child has come back from school with an exaggerated story.

I promise you no teacher has the time or inclination to chase kids down the road.

If you don't like the rules, try a different school.

@Mooselander phones aren’t an essential for life (in the way that air, water and food are) but they’re certainly very important for safety for many people in many circumstances. It’s not helpful to just tell the OP that her daughter doesn’t need a phone when she obviously knows the situation better than you and believes a phone would help to keep her daughter safe.

Doesn't need a phone to do what?
Survive?
Get help quickly when needed?

You may be right that she doesn't need it to survive, but it is needed for things like being able to contact someone quickly, which can make a big difference if involved in an attack or crime or other things affecting life.

You seriously don’t see how having a phone makes you SAFER in some circumstances?

I agree with you about it being a safety tool. As an adult in a tricky situation it's probably the first thing most of us would reach for. These days it's also handy for things like digital bus tickets, life 360 etc. The world has changed and although children don't necessarily need the social or doom scrolling parts of the phone it's crazy to me that in a world where horrible crimes happen constantly we'd remove a child's tool to call for help.

But they are also a problem in schools, 100%.

My daughter would be under strict instructions to keep her phone in her bag and tell no one she has it. Teachers won't chase them down for them, they're not even supposed to chase eloping children. They won't chase a phone outside of school hours.

If the incident was that severe you should be going to the police. Her having a phone won't stop it happening again, but a police investigation might give me weight to your safety argument

Go on then tell me how.

The phone ban is government mandated I’m afraid. My school has also banned teachers from using phones where kids might see… Just tell her to keep it on silent at the bottom of her bag.

i gave my dc a mobile specifically at year 7
purely to contact me, after school, edited to add
no idea how people manage now

have school's capacity to store all the pupil's phones?

Did you actually think anyone was claiming a phone "makes someone safe"?

Presuming your dd was assaulted either physically or sexually.

phones do not stop this. They do allow the victim to contact help quickly afterwards.

no phones in school is as others have said now government policy so school won’t change it (and the pouches and such like cost money).

either get her a brick and hide it in the bag (you can get pretend deodorant bottles etc designed for hiding money on a beach)

or (better, and)

get her a rape alarm, start martial arts classes, etc.