AIBU to ask for advice on how to overturn a school decision - quickly

[Canwehavesesomesanityback]

What can I do to overturn a school decision - quickly? It is regarding mobile phones. The school has introduced a no phones at school policy. If a teacher is on a journey home and sees a child on a phone, they will “chase them down the street and snatch it out of their hand” as it shows they had a phone in school.

There was a horrible and frightening incident fairly near school today. So whilst school were busying themself with catching children out for taking a blazer off at a bus stop or using a phone after school, my child was involved in something bloody terrifying. I’ve been up half the night. It should involve the police, but we are not going down that road and time would have been of the essence anyway. My husband was driving about a minute away from her at the time, happily oblivious. I’m shaken up, but also feel in an impossible situation.

This occurred close to school, with a couple of friends, in daylight with people nearby. Her journey also includes much larger elements where she’s on her own and secluded. I’m really fucking angry and revolted too (huge understatement) that the school have the power to dictate the removal of a tool for use outside of school, compromising my child’s safety.

As a bare minimum, I want a brick phone allowed in school - turned off, handed in, confiscated if used or seen - I don’t care. I want them to find a way that the other 97% of schools do, so that my child has access to a phone, even if it’s just a brick phone, should she need it out of school.

They have lots of draconian rules, appear very rigid and authoritarian. I can grit my teeth on those. I cannot grit my teeth on this one. It’s a very large academy, gives the impression so far that “we are always right and totally trustworthy” and others will have it wrong or lie. Please help. How best to approach a school that seems terrified of giving an inch, (whilst it simultaneously encroaches the fuck and takes miles) to get an outcome that will make my child safer out of school.

If you’ve read this far, please help. I also believe from what I’ve seen so far that if I raise this, the school will frequently check my daughter’s bag. I am willing to now break the rules on this, but obviously can’t keep replacing mobiles and she shouldn’t have to be punished by school for it either.

The person I was replying to does.

It’s very unlikely you have been told that a teacher is going to chase a student down and snatch it out of their hand. A teacher is not doing that even if a phone is is waved in front of their face in school. 95% of schools who have a “phone ban” mean it’s either got to be switched off/silent in the bottom of your bag and never seen or used on the school premises or it’s got to be in a locked Yonder Pouch. This is because almost all schools understand that students MAY need phones to communicate with parents once they get off the premises or need it for bus tickets home or something like that but as there’s no need for using a phone at all on the school grounds, there are strong sanctions for being seen using it.

If your child is in the minuscule percentile of schools that don’t allow them to bring their phone in at all. As in not have it even off and out of sight in their bag, can you email the year leader and ask for safety reasons getting home if your child can hand in a brick phone to reception/year office each morning then collect it at the end of each day for the journey home?

I don’t think teachers are chasing kids down the street to snatch their phones off them 🤣

What is with the "no adult or child needs a phone" brigade?!
My child walks home, I am able to track them on life 360 should I need to. I may well be in work when they are headed home and so it's reassuring for me to know where they are. Otherwise if I get home 2 hours later and they aren't there, I wouldn't know how long they had been missing for.
I am sipportive of the school keeping phones in pouches (our school have just introduced this) but what my child does outside of school regarding having a phone, should surely be down to the parents to manage.
And don't bother coming at me with the "well in my day we didn't have phones and coped just fine" I'm not interested in that - times have changed, we move with the times should we choose to.

OP - I'd perhaps contact the governors on this one - I'm not sure how much luck you would have but I agree with you.
Hope your child is ok.

I don't know of any schools saying students can't have a phone put away and turned off in their bag, to use on the journeys to and from school.

I’m sorry for whatever it is that happened to your daughter. You’re upset and looking for something to blame but you are directing blame in the wrong place. Smartphones are harmful to kids in so many ways, in fact a research study was produced yesterday showing that in schools where at least 20% of parents agree to delay smartphones until 14, child mental heath problems were reduced by 8%. That’s a lot of kids’ well-being and long term development improved by one action.

I agree that there is no need for no brick phones however. I think you could raise this with the school, agree there is evidence for a smartphone ban but what is the evidence on brick phones? That said, would a phone have prevented this incident happening?

Teacher here. There is no way a teacher would chase and snatch a phone from someone. The only way I could see confisction would be perhaps if there was wrongdoing, e.g. recording a fight. We are in the situation where phones have been banned because some pupils, instead of leaving them switched off during the day, have chosen to flount the rules. Previously if they were off snd in your bag it affected no one. Now rules are stricter due to previous rule breaking.

Teachers can’t take phones off people outside of the school gates. Once the child has left school property the teacher has no authority over the child. The teacher just becomes another member of the general public.

Your child can refuse to hand over their phone if off the school property, if the teacher insists then that is theft. It’s batshit that any teacher would even think this is acceptable.

On school property, the teachers can confiscate phones as that is a school rule.

If the incident is so serious the police should be involved then involving will ensure the crime is properly recorded, this can then be used when discussions about child safety are involved.

Kids needing to make calls about late buses was part of the campaign to keep our local phone box.

My phone kept me safe when a group of men started following me, I phoned my uncle who lived nearby and he drove out to collect me.

My phone kept me safe when the night bus broke down somewhere I didn’t know at all in the middle of the night, and the bus driver was being creepy, and the other passengers were a group who walked off together, and I used it to check where I was, then call a taxi and to call a friend who stayed on the phone with me while I waited (having a loud staged conversation about how they were just round the corner and on the way).

My phone kept me safe when I fell and broke my ankle while walking my dog and was able to call an ambulance and a friend to collect the dog.

My phone kept me safe on holiday in a place where I didn’t speak the language and was in a big crowd when I became separated from my friends who knew where the accommodation was, as I could call them and we used location sharing to find each other.

Were you on your way home from school on any of these occasions?

Can you get a Karri or a data enabled smartwatch instead?

Jesus Christ @Soontobe60 why does that matter? Are you being deliberately obtuse or just looking for an argument? Phones make you safer in lots of situations, many of which children can also be in! It’s an important safety tool, and if the OP thinks her daughter would benefit from it why are you arguing with that? FWIW no I’m much too old to have had a mobile phone during my school days, back when bobbies still walked the beat and there were phone boxes on every corner, but none of that is relevant to the OP wanting her daughter to be safer!

Silent at the bottom of the bag will not necessarily work now. Some schools have scanners to detect phones.

I do hate academies. Horrific schools.

I think a lot of teachers outside school will turn a blind eye if they possibly can. Brick phone in a hidden pocket if child is up for that. The watch idea sounds good. We have an android tag as a back up.

My Dds bus ticket is on her phone.
The school bus service is very unreliable and children are quite often left standing on the roadside. They have to call family to get collected.

My dc get school transport which is a 45 min bus journey, which is then met by a taxi for another 45 min to our house. In the last year the bus has broken down 4 times. The taxi has failed to show up to meet the bus twice.

Some dc do need phones for their journey imo.

I'm grateful that our dc's school has opted for pouches rather than a ban, in response to the rural community they are in.

I would hope that the majority of teachers wouldn't run down the road and snatch a phone off a child! I definitely wouldn't as a teacher and I don't know any who would... That seems an awful policy, I've never heard of anything like it...

Quite frankly you need to remove her from school and home-educate until you can get her a place at a school nearer to home - which may or may not also include moving house to a home near to an acceptable school. The school will only backtrack on this decision if a large number of families do this, any complaint short of removing your child from the school will not be taken seriously, if she's not safe without a phone she cannot attend that school, not even for one day. If she's not safe without a phone she is unlikely to be actually safe with one either, it is not hard to knock a phone from the hand of a teenager. It sounds like a poor choice of school/home location decisions.

Agree that particularly given the nature of your daughter's trip to and from school, a mobile phone enhances (but doesn't guarantee) safety. I'm from a mobile-free childhood and early adulthood and I survived, but I survived despite some sketchy/dangerous situations that could easily have gone the other way, and that would have been significantly less sketchy if I'd had a phone.

Given the nature of the school, I wouldn't attack this head on. Instead I'd stay calm nd go to the school for "advice" - describe the incident, describe her journey to and from school, set out that until now you've been using her having a brick phone to mitigate some of the risks inherent to that journey. After yesterday's incident you've recognised that the risk has indeed increased - you're looking for their expert advice on how to safeguard your daughter when going to and coming home from
school, really grateful for their help, etc etc.

By doing this, you've made them aware of the risk, asked them to share the burden of safeguarding risks and created a paper trail - but crucially for this sort of school you haven't disagreed with them or directly confronted them, which would be counterproductive.

There’s always one 🙄
Its 2026. Whether you agree with it or not, phones are an essential part of daily life.

My local school has gone down the pouch method which I think is the most sensible for those with long distances to travel home.

Ours is urban/suburban but has also done pouches, just recognising that kids have complex journeys and complex lives. It's human and proportionate and tbh has had a positive impact in school without alienating parents.

A polite and rational email to the pastoral lead might be your best starting point. An angry/emotional reaction will be less effective. Would having a phone really have prevented the incident you refer to? Did you choose this school knowing it is strict? It’s a tricky balance, as reducing children’s phone use and therefore the time they spend online (which your school is doing) definitely makes them safer overall.

No school has told you that "If a teacher is on a journey home and sees a child on a phone, they will “chase them down the street and snatch it out of their hand”". Don't be ridiculous.