AIBU to ask for advice on how to overturn a school decision - quickly

[Canwehavesesomesanityback]

What can I do to overturn a school decision - quickly? It is regarding mobile phones. The school has introduced a no phones at school policy. If a teacher is on a journey home and sees a child on a phone, they will “chase them down the street and snatch it out of their hand” as it shows they had a phone in school.

There was a horrible and frightening incident fairly near school today. So whilst school were busying themself with catching children out for taking a blazer off at a bus stop or using a phone after school, my child was involved in something bloody terrifying. I’ve been up half the night. It should involve the police, but we are not going down that road and time would have been of the essence anyway. My husband was driving about a minute away from her at the time, happily oblivious. I’m shaken up, but also feel in an impossible situation.

This occurred close to school, with a couple of friends, in daylight with people nearby. Her journey also includes much larger elements where she’s on her own and secluded. I’m really fucking angry and revolted too (huge understatement) that the school have the power to dictate the removal of a tool for use outside of school, compromising my child’s safety.

As a bare minimum, I want a brick phone allowed in school - turned off, handed in, confiscated if used or seen - I don’t care. I want them to find a way that the other 97% of schools do, so that my child has access to a phone, even if it’s just a brick phone, should she need it out of school.

They have lots of draconian rules, appear very rigid and authoritarian. I can grit my teeth on those. I cannot grit my teeth on this one. It’s a very large academy, gives the impression so far that “we are always right and totally trustworthy” and others will have it wrong or lie. Please help. How best to approach a school that seems terrified of giving an inch, (whilst it simultaneously encroaches the fuck and takes miles) to get an outcome that will make my child safer out of school.

If you’ve read this far, please help. I also believe from what I’ve seen so far that if I raise this, the school will frequently check my daughter’s bag. I am willing to now break the rules on this, but obviously can’t keep replacing mobiles and she shouldn’t have to be punished by school for it either.

Can you buy a signal blocker pouch and put her phone in her bag? She doesn’t remove it until she’s home from school?

Dd school have introduced these? They lock them on their way in and unlock on way out, it is causing queues tho.

My DD does after school activities that she gets herself to and rings me when she needs collecting, so she needs her phone.

It’s ok saying they don’t need phones. We don’t need many devices that we use on the daily (cars, computers, chat gpt 🤣) the world spun round without them! But it makes life easier, more convenient…

If you do say anything, don’t open with the ‘chasing and snatching’ like you have here. It’s obviously nonsense and marks you out in a way you don’t want to be.

posters above have raised a pertinent point. You haven’t said what the incident was, and her dad was 1 minute away, on his way- would her having a phone in the bottom of her bag helped in any way to avoid this incident?

if she is getting picked up door to door, I’m assuming she’s year 7, and one of her parents are there waiting on time, then I can’t see how having a phone would ever help her.

A child walking home looking at their phone is probably in more danger than a child walking home without one.

Leave a phone in the bottom of her bag. Tell her not to use it unless she needs it. There is no way a teacher would be allowed to snatch a phone that is being used well away from school grounds. A teacher is not going to chase a kid to get a phone. That’s ridiculous.

I’ve known a few teachers batshit enough who would probably have chased a kid down. How fucking pathetic. What is the problem with a having a phone switched off to use after school?

God, some people are so over the top. You chuck your phone in the bin then if you think teens shouldn’t have them.

DDs school have an out of sight policy for phones. So they can have them in their bags switched off. It’s a school where children travel a long way to get to (only grammar for many miles, some families, more than you’d expect, live an hour away, but quite a lot of parents pick up on the way through after work).

Because of the travel issue, they have after school provision where you can book them in to stay in school, in a certain area (library/cafe/study centre) until 5:30pm. LOTS of children use it, all through the school years.

Which is great, only they have banned phones there too.

Dd is there everyday. Dh picks her up on the way home from work, could be at anytime between 3:45 and 5:30pm, he never really knows.

Parents used to just text when they were five mins away, so the girls could leave and meet them when they arrived. The school is on a busy road so no parking, and it’s all permit on the roads around the school so any parking, other than a quick pick up, is quite a walk away.

They have been back three days and without phones, it’s been a shit show.

you now have to call the reception to say you are there/on your way. But they don’t answer or the phone is engaged as there are so many parents calling, or the receptionists have to go and find the children to pass on the message. Dh was trying to get through for 10 minuets on Friday afternoon. Then they couldn’t find dd (in the toilet), so he had to call back and start it all again.

Dd said the receptionist was really stressed and just running up and down finding people the whole time.

There has already been an accident on the road outside school, a parent parking up an waiting where they shouldn’t, parents driving round in circles trying to call the school. It’s crazy.

You are being paranoid, your child does not need a phone, and as others have said it will not make her safe- you need to relax.

Raise it with the principaal and ask if children can leave a brick phone at the office, named, in a locker to be collected after school. That seems fair and logical.

Kids don't need phone contact with parents during the school day. The office can deliver an emergency message.

You do know it's 2026 and public phone boxes are few and far between?

The no phone rule is here to stay and in school it is beneficial. More learning, fewer distractions. I would write with an alternative suggestions. Phone pouches work. They are not onerous. We have had them at my school for quite a while. They are under £10 to buy, but if any affordability issues we will provide them. Pupils lock phones in pouches during registration and unlock them independently outside the school building on the way home.

No teacher will be running and chasing down students. Additionally as other posters have said, there are extremely tight guidelines for searches, but let’s be honest, it would only be pupils suspected of something (e.g. vapes) who would be searched.

You don’t “need” a washing machine either. Don’t you have a stream nearby?

You don’t need a dishwasher, or a plumbed in bath. How far do you want to go?

Mobile phones make life easier. I’m 47 and remember the fucking ballache of life before mobiles.

I agree polite email along the lines of “can we find a solution together” type.

how about emailing to say your child needs a phone for after school activities and journey home, that not all child walk home or take the school transport. You fully support the ban on phones inside school, so could there be a facility to drop the phone j to reception before the school day starts and collect after school, with clear instruction your dd can’t switch the phone back on until she’s left the school grounds. Many school are offering a collect in before school starts, collect at end of the day so this should be possible.

I would also say that if it is not possible to do this, would the school look at yonder pouches as many schools have found these successful.

Say the policy doesn’t appear to have been drawn up to factor in students who don’t live near the school or have after school activities. You are sure they can make a reasonable plan as this seems unworkable and you are shocked at the idea teachers will snatch phones from children outside of school hours, how can they be certain the child hasn’t already gone home and collected their phone? How can they be sure the children will recognise them as a staff member as not all children will know all the staff - you will report a stolen phone to the police and this policy risks staff members being falsely accused of theft, surely their unions are unhappy with the risk they are being asked to take. Etc. how will the head and governors protect the staff? Will they be trained to identify themselves and show school ID to children outside of school? How are you to tell the difference between a stolen phone happening in the evening outside of the school and this policy? Will staff have receipts / something to give to the child to pass to parents to confirm they are a legitimate member of staff?

How old are you?

Do you have one?
What would you do, for example, if your car broke down on the way to work and you had no mobile?
There are no public phone boxes anywhere on my route to work, how would I call breakdown or call work to let them know?
What if it was on the way home and I was supposed to pick children up?

Children aren’t allowed to use mobiles in school which is absolutely fine but a lot of them do need them for the journey there and back. School have no right to dictate what happens off school grounds

You lost me at teachers "chasing" after pupils in the street to "snatch" their phones.

Never happened.

This is exactly the same in our schools. Logged in pouch on entry to period 1, various unlocking points around school at end of day.

Teachers will not be chasing down pupils after school ends or off the premises. Believe me, there is far too much to be done! If a pupil uses their phone outside the school gate, outside of school time, they will not care.

The no-phone policy is the law. Schools have to ensure pupils have no access to them during school time. Whether you agree with this or not, it’s legislation. Please do not encourage your children to break the law and circumvent this. Work with the schools on this.

So Drs/nurses/vets/others "on-call" don't need phones? How do people get in touch with them then? Stick their head out of a window and shout, or send a signal in the air Batman style?

What is this fabricated nonsense?

Teachers do not have the time or energy to chase pupils carrying smartphones.

You believe her journey home from school is actually unsafe. In which case a phone might not help her.
You need to ask or find an alternative to get her home.

This is why comments like this are ridiculous.

When I first started driving at 18, it was 1997 and I didn’t yet have a mobile. The car I was driving broke down, it was bloody horrible. No pay phones in the smallish village I broke down in even then, two shops wouldn’t let me use thier phones to call home, and I had to go and beg some dodgy bloke in a petrol station to use theirs. I felt so unsafe. It was getting dark and I was scared.

Had I had a mobile or a smart phone, Christ, I would have felt so much safer and would have been able to sort myself out so much faster.

Why are people intent on going back to a time that was so much more inconvenient? I don’t understand it at all.

Technology makes our lives easier

I work in a school - teachers would not be allowed to chase kids down and snatch their phone. They'd get in so much trouble.
And the kids not wearing their blazers at the bus stop? They are only required to wear uniform IN school, after school they can get changed or weather what they like.
This can't be a policy that you yourself have actually been sent, I am guessing it's what your kid has told you?

We walked home 2 miles from primary school in a very rural area. We passed 2 phone boxes on that journey.
There was no pavement.
We were fine.

And we had payphones then. I used payphones all the time through my teens.

I agree ludicrous

Our school banned phone use but let children keep phones for after and before school outside the grounds. Phones for safety is highly reasonable for changes in pickup time or emergency calls to parents. It can be a text only phone if you do not want data. Our school confiscated if seen using at school and I hardly heard of any confiscated. The people who say that we survived without them, they didn’t exist then so moot. I remember several cases when I was stranded without money or really need to call my mum. Yes, you could ask a passer-by in an emergency but I am sure as a parent you want the option there. My child has severe allergies and I for one would petition that my child can contact me or 999, but even just fir safety coming ti and frim school is reasonable.

@Canwehavesesomesanityback , well that was dramatic for full effect -
“chase them down the street and snatch it out of their hand”

I am sorry but this did make me laugh when I imagined Mr Stroll, the geography teacher chasing Imogen down the road and rugby tackling her to the floor to snatch her phone. If this is the school of policy I think the school has more serious problems than phones at school.

Government policy on phones in schools is really starting to kick in on this September return.

My DGDs school have introduced pouches and she told me that the concern is that - now hear this - when the girls are having a panic attack in the loo cubicle at school, they now wont be able to call their mums to come and get them.

It is all serious stuff. My response was that if someone is having a panic attack they should go to a teacher or a the Wellness centre or tell a friend, not lock themselves in a cubicle in the loo. This did happen to a friend of hers

Surely we have a duty to educate our DC as to what to do in difficult/dangerous situations.
A phone call or a text message is obviously the first recourse but not the only one.