AIBU to ask for advice on how to overturn a school decision - quickly

[Canwehavesesomesanityback]

What can I do to overturn a school decision - quickly? It is regarding mobile phones. The school has introduced a no phones at school policy. If a teacher is on a journey home and sees a child on a phone, they will “chase them down the street and snatch it out of their hand” as it shows they had a phone in school.

There was a horrible and frightening incident fairly near school today. So whilst school were busying themself with catching children out for taking a blazer off at a bus stop or using a phone after school, my child was involved in something bloody terrifying. I’ve been up half the night. It should involve the police, but we are not going down that road and time would have been of the essence anyway. My husband was driving about a minute away from her at the time, happily oblivious. I’m shaken up, but also feel in an impossible situation.

This occurred close to school, with a couple of friends, in daylight with people nearby. Her journey also includes much larger elements where she’s on her own and secluded. I’m really fucking angry and revolted too (huge understatement) that the school have the power to dictate the removal of a tool for use outside of school, compromising my child’s safety.

As a bare minimum, I want a brick phone allowed in school - turned off, handed in, confiscated if used or seen - I don’t care. I want them to find a way that the other 97% of schools do, so that my child has access to a phone, even if it’s just a brick phone, should she need it out of school.

They have lots of draconian rules, appear very rigid and authoritarian. I can grit my teeth on those. I cannot grit my teeth on this one. It’s a very large academy, gives the impression so far that “we are always right and totally trustworthy” and others will have it wrong or lie. Please help. How best to approach a school that seems terrified of giving an inch, (whilst it simultaneously encroaches the fuck and takes miles) to get an outcome that will make my child safer out of school.

If you’ve read this far, please help. I also believe from what I’ve seen so far that if I raise this, the school will frequently check my daughter’s bag. I am willing to now break the rules on this, but obviously can’t keep replacing mobiles and she shouldn’t have to be punished by school for it either.

I would email the school and alert them to the incident.

Also put the phone in a pouch at the bottom of a bag, turned off. Tell your daughter not to use it anywhere near the school except in case of emergency

(though as an aside I doubt teachers have been chasing kids who brought out phones off site as they have no legal authority to do this and could be reported to the police for theft.. possibly could see it happening if the phone was brought out on site and the teacher gave chase at that point then the child left the school premises and teacher followed, though really they should just follow it up with sanctions when the child is next in school)

I didn’t say that.

I hate the whole, “we survived” crap. Well done. Now move with the times.

Or don’t, your choice.

This is one of those situations where I would quietly give my child a pay as you go phone, maybe also an Air Tag in their school bag with the child's permission? Tell them the phone never to discuss the phone with anyone otherwise it risks being taken away, it is there purely for an emergency if they need to get hold of you/their father/grandparents etc. I just don't think you'll get that far taking this into the school - there is too much loss of face if they backpedal on this, they won't want to start the school year off with that! I get why you're cross - it sounds very draconian in this day and age.

If you are worried about assault then get her a personal attack alarm and tell her that it isn't designed to call for help, it is meant to be a distraction whilst she legs it away from he attacker.

PS: I doubt any sensible teacher would chase a child and confiscate their phone outside school premises - I doubt they could even do that without risking being accused of theft.

"If a teacher is on a journey home and sees a child on a phone, they will “chase them down the street and snatch it out of their hand” as it shows they had a phone in school."

Claiming this is the in the new school policy is absolutely batshit, sorry.

This government issued new guidance on mobile phones in school; perhaps you should go say all this to your local MP?

It’s nothing to do with being an academy. It might be something to do with the way this particular academy has chosen to interpret the Government guidance. Not all academies are the same.

Mobile and antibiotics, I suppose that's a fair comparison 😂

I am so sorry that something horrendous seems to have happened to your daughter. You are understandably feeling upset and angry and as pp have suggested maybe therefore directing anger at the school rather than the perpetrators of presumably a criminal act. Firstly I think it highly unlikely that teachers are going to follow any child out of school and snatch a phone. We don’t have the legal right to do that outside school premises and which staff member would agree to it? You’d be putting yourself into all kinds of difficulties and opening yourself to a law suit. Secondly, if you haven’t done so already contact the pastoral team at school about this incident and I would be astounded if they would not allow your daughter, the victim of an attack (im assuming) a reasonable adjustment of having a brick phone switched off in her bag. I hope she’s ok. X

I’d really recommend a Karri, it looks very boring, it has no real screen to speak of and could easily be carried in a period bag or something. It has GPS and the ability to send voice messages to approved contacts but no other mobile phone-type behaviour and it doesn’t look like a phone. We have one for DD1 as she’s started wanting to walk to her friend’s house solo and she takes it so she can send me a message when she’s there/leaving instead of her friend’s mum having to do so. It gives her a bit of agency over her own safety/a feeling of responsibility I suppose.

It is not government guidance it is now law, that schools need to prevent students from accessing smart phones during the school day.

I think you’ll find we have and are the generation that is the most adaptable having gone to school and university with zero tech, adapting to its introduction and then to how it is obsessively used in the way it is now.

There is a reason these rules are being introduced. Phones are damaging our children and their parents who now seriously think no child can survive without one clutched in their hands.

"My Nan wouldn’t let anyone watch TV in her house until 1990 as she insisted it gave you square eyes and rotted your brain"

Your Nan was quite prescient then given we now know that excessive screen use is bad for children's development.

I think the policy within school and school hours isn’t a battle worth fighting with school - as so many others have pointed out, it’s a policy that has come from government. It will distract from the real issue.

Enforcing the rule outside of school and school hours seems to be ridiculous and beyond the scope of the legislation (and distracting to staff). This is the conversation to have.

Smart watches are usually disallowed under the same policy. Definitely are in my local Secondary school. All have to go in the lockable pouch

For me, I agree with phones kept switched off at school & on school buses.

But outside school, in public places? I cannot imagine any sane teacher opting to notice, for a start!

I broke down at 2am coming home from a late shift at Heathrow a couple of months ago. No way am I walking alone down an unlit motorway in the middle of night to the nearest emergency phone. Sometimes an adult needs a phone.

The arrogance of the op thinking a) her view speaks for all parents and b) she can quickly overturn school decisions when she feels like it!😂

I’m not in the UK but curious does the new guidance / legislation ( not sure which it actually is ) state mobile phones or smartphones?

Smartphone ban is appropriate but surely a brick phone used during school commute is fine ? Does the guidance not make a distinction between them?

Fucks sake, you know what I mean.

”We survived”. Whoop de fucking do. It’s a stupid argument.

I “survived” driving from Cornwall to Essex at 18, with nothing but a map that I had to keep pulling over to look at.

Now I just sit my phone on the dash board and it shows and tells me where to go.

I also survived many instances of being harassed by men on public transport while at school. If I could have got off at a busy stop and phoned my dad, it would have been a lot less terrifying.

If a teacher is on a journey home and sees a child on a phone, they will “chase them down the street and snatch it out of their hand” as it shows they had a phone in school.

I'd like to see what this is quoted from.

I'm sorry that your child had a frightening experience. I honestly can't imagine why you wouldn't involve the police if it was as serious as you suggest.

The rules should have enforced from the start by the schools, then they wouldn’t need pouches or leaving other students vulnerable on the way home.

My DD school hasn’t introduced pouches yet. They’ve a strict no phone policy. As a result the majority have students keep their phone off in their bag or it’s gone for 48 hours.

OP, I’d buy her a small phone, they will do bags searches so she could be caught with it. I’d take the risk.

We didn’t have them 30 years ago but we did have psychiatrist hospitals and prison space, less psychotic inducing drugs, back then, now there are violent people walking amongst us.

You're right, it's smartphones.

Op it all sounds stressful but you sound deranged.

Ok so that’s your choice. Children however deserve a chance to grow up without the danger phones cause or their development stunted.

You can’t call 999 if a phone is switched off. And how long do you think it takes to turn a phone on, when it is switched off? I’ve just timed mine and it takes 52 seconds to switch on, type in the passcode and connect to a network before I can dial anything. Most children will call their parents, not 999. Most children don’t know the names of roads they are on, especially if it’s not an area they are familiar with. Factor in the fact the child is probably frightened and panicking and who is being ridiculous? Pizzapies is.

" chasing " the child down the street to " snatch " the phone off them ?
No teacher has the time or inclination. This absolutely DIDN'T/ DOES NOT happen 😆