AIBU to feel upset my parents are selling their holiday home?

[DeeDeeDodo]

So I do know I am being unreasonable... but my parents own a holiday home abroad, which we go to with our kids 3-4 times a year as we absolutely love it and it is a cost effective way to have a holiday as we only pay for the flights and cleaner. I've been going for 30 years so feels like a home from home.

My parents are finding it too much to manage and get there so were going to let me and my brother take over management. However, they have now changed their minds and are going to sell it. They openly say they don't need the money, but they want to dispose of it as they're not using it. It is worth a fair amount (more than my house) and the money is just going to sit in a bank account not doing anything for anybody - my parents won't require it for care even if that time comes as they have other means.

I realise this is completely their choice, but I am crushed. I have so many of my happiest memories there, espeically of my children. It enables so much quality family time for us, which as the children get older I know will become more challenging to get at home.

We also won't really be able to afford holidays now. We both work full time in demanding jobs with long hours and have always had the next trip there booked so always had that to look forward to.

Not really sure what I am saying, but I find it upsetting that something so important to me, my husband and kids will be gone for no benefit to anybody.

Go somewhere else?

We have never spent anywhere close to £15k on a single holiday. Let alone 3-4x a year. You have been spoiled and need to now adjust to a new reality.

They have a point.

My parents had a holiday home in West Wales for about 15 years, I had the odd week there over the years and all I had to do was leave it clean.

AIBU to be disappointed that I didn’t have 30 years of free holidays in Spain 4 times a year?

Yes, yes I am. You’ve had a gift. Be grateful.

All good things come to an end. It is sad but that stage of your life is over and you have to move on..

My dad lived in Spain for a long time. We went once a year and when the children were little it was the only way we could have a holiday. I was gutted when he sold up and moved back to the UK. But such is life. We have survived and have managed a few holidays since then. Actually much though I miss it, it is good to explore other places too which we didn't do before. We go really cheap, Ryanair flights and cheap Airbnb.

You will be fine, you just need to get on with it.

surely they will have capital gains tax on selling it!!??

Gosh just saw your latest message about accommodation costing £15,000 for a week or something such nonsense. Get a grip! Go and explore the big world out there and make an adventure out of it.

But if they dont need the money and wont be using the money, can it be bought between you and brother for a reduced fee. If not, i would try to focus on the 100 odd trips you had - not the ones you wont have.

For example - say the property is now worth £600k and the CGT on that is £100k.
If they sell it they are left with £500K after they pay CGT
If they gift it to their kids - they have to find a spare £100k to pay the CGT to HMRC, even though they did not financially benefit. So they are in debt by £100k
Not the same!

I think it is very understandable you are upset. Have you tried explaining to them how much it means to you? I don't understand why they would have to pay capital gains tax when gifting it to you, but not if they sell it?

Maybe after 30 years you should broaden your horizons and have a different holiday that doesn't cost the earth, have you ever considered how lucky and privileged you all are. A week in Skeggie never killed anyone.

You can sell it for a reduced fee - but the CGT will have to be paid on what it's worth on the open market.

Not really sure what I am saying, but I find it upsetting that something so important to me, my husband and kids will be gone for no benefit to anybody.

The house isn't going to be annihilated. It'll be sold. Maybe it'll be bought by someone who lives there permanently. Or maybe by someone who lets it as a holiday let. Either way, it's likely to be used significantly more than it's being used now. More people will have more happy holidays there than do so at present. You don't know those people, but it doesn't mean the benefit to them doesn't count.

Tbh, I think it’s extremely boring to go to the same place on holiday every year. Yeah need to get some imagination and experience new things. Maybe you won’t be able to afford to go as frequently, but you are being ridiculous to make out that you won’t be able to go at all.

They'd have to pay CGT either way - but if they were gifting it - where would they they get the tax from if they gifted it - there's no sale. You have to pay CGT regardless of how you dispose of it.

If you ventured outside your comfort zone and visited new places, then you probably wouldn’t have this weird unhealthy attachment to a house.

Can you not speak to them and tell them you don't want them to sell? Or buy it together with your brother. If they don't need the money can they not sell it yo both if you at below market value?

I don't understand why they would have to pay capital gains tax when gifting it to you, but not if they sell it?

You don't know what taxes would be payable in the country where the house is.

I'm pretty sure you can get a decent holiday for much less than 15K for a family of 4 for 2 weeks.

It's easy to blame the parents, but no one really knows their financial situation. Maybe they want the money to cover investments gone bad or make changes to their own house, or retire early or move to a more expensive area in the UK.

Could you and your brother afford the capital gains taxes for them which might solve that problem?

Exactly this

£15k for a holiday?! Where on earth are you going?

weve had some lovely holidays recently in school holidays for 10 days for a third of that. And that’s 5* so you could certainly get more budget options.

what do 4 combined holidays of flights normally cost you?

YABU but you know that already. It’s their choice and they don’t want the worry. You've benefitted for a long time and should be grateful.

lots of us work long hours and very hard and can’t afford a holiday or “only” one per year.

I can see how you’re upset to lose it. And for the memories.

Like pp have said, if you’ve afforded flights 4 times a year, you can still afford a holiday, just not 4. I guess you have to just consider yourself lucky that you’ve had all these cheaper holidays but it was always going to end sometime

Offer to pay costs associated with owning it, get them to gift it to you? You and brother own it jointly, share costs straight down the middle.

Why don't you and your brother buy it? You can let it out when you aren't using it to help cover the mortgage, your parent's won't have to manage it and they can do as they please with the money from it, win win.

Might be worth exploring hold over relief of CGT with your parents, OP, given they were already considering gifting the holiday property.

Link here gives more information but a Trusts and Tax specialist lawyer would be required, worth a thought?

www.mercerhole.co.uk/insights/capital-gains-tax-holdover-relief-and-trusts/