AIBU to feel upset my parents are selling their holiday home?

[DeeDeeDodo]

So I do know I am being unreasonable... but my parents own a holiday home abroad, which we go to with our kids 3-4 times a year as we absolutely love it and it is a cost effective way to have a holiday as we only pay for the flights and cleaner. I've been going for 30 years so feels like a home from home.

My parents are finding it too much to manage and get there so were going to let me and my brother take over management. However, they have now changed their minds and are going to sell it. They openly say they don't need the money, but they want to dispose of it as they're not using it. It is worth a fair amount (more than my house) and the money is just going to sit in a bank account not doing anything for anybody - my parents won't require it for care even if that time comes as they have other means.

I realise this is completely their choice, but I am crushed. I have so many of my happiest memories there, espeically of my children. It enables so much quality family time for us, which as the children get older I know will become more challenging to get at home.

We also won't really be able to afford holidays now. We both work full time in demanding jobs with long hours and have always had the next trip there booked so always had that to look forward to.

Not really sure what I am saying, but I find it upsetting that something so important to me, my husband and kids will be gone for no benefit to anybody.

Taking over the management but not ownership - the buck would always stop with your parents.

Why did your parent change their minds about you and your brother managing the holiday home?
Have you explained your feelings to your parents.
Having asked those questions the bottom line is its totally up to them wether they sell it or not .

Is there any part of you that can see you should be extremely grateful for those previous holidays you absolutely couldn't afford?

I don't think you can sell well below market value to family without tax implications, but I wouldn't even be able to afford 10% of the value so that feels very much a non starter...

We have done this several times over the last 2 years and explored lots of options. I thought we had agreed so that's one reason I'm so disappointed for them to back track.

Maybe they want the money in the bank so it can be earning interest and topping up their pension.

Anyone who starts a thread essentially inviting posters to bitch about her parents… really can’t be all that close to them

Can you and your brother buy it jointly and get a mortgage?

My parents had a similar situation. They sold because it was getting too much hassle. With the money they made on the sale of the house, they kept it separate and paid for all of us to go on a similar holiday each year. They loved it become they could relax without worrying about the leaky roof or the blocked toilet that would have previously been their responsibility to fix. Maybe you could suggest something like that?

@DeeDeeDodo

Have they been letting it out to other guests too or just letting family members stay there?

They probably want to travel the world now rather than being committed to one place.

Yes, we probably would afford one small holiday a year.

Not that I think I should count on inheritance for any decisiosn in life, but hopefully I wouldn't receive any for 20+ years anyway.

£15k??!! Not sure how that can be but in any case if that is true you really need to start considering how lucky you’ve been to have that holiday for free 4 times a year

How about asking if you can buy it but give them back the money over a period of time, then rent it out to cover the money you owe to them? If you say accomodation in the same area is 7.5k a week I presume this one could be rented for 3-4k a week at least? so if you can do that 20 weeks of the year you could potentially pay them back 40-50k back a year and not need a mortgage?

This is such a self centred post OP, it’s staggering.
It’s your parents’ house. What they do with it entirely up to them. And your comment about the money sitting in an account doing nothing is just crass.

Op if you’re that poor I’m unsure how you can afford the upkeep of it. ?

You can have fabulous holidays for a lot less £££ than that, crikey!

@DeeDeeDodo could you and your brother buy it off them, but they "loan" you the money for it, and you pay them back over the next 10+ years using the profit from renting it out?

Do the maths and look at the rental profit.

If that’s all you can afford then that’s what you can afford. Most people live within their means.

Yes, many conversations. And they have gone back and forth a lot, but they've now put it on the market so feels more final.

My brother is sad, but he doesn't have a family, earns a lot of money and is less impacted.

It is really my mum who is making the decision. Tbh I think she is feeling very emotional that my dad can't easily go anymore (they used to go once a month and it will be twice this year). So I think she wants it gone so it's not a reminder of what they can't now do, which I do get.

Yes, we've been discussing it for two years. I cried a lot when they told me.

Oh dear, that’s not good.

What do your parents say when you ask why they have changed their mind? If they are so well off I don't understand why they are worrying about tax and causing so much disappointment. If they have got so many assets that you will inherit a lot of money in 20+ years can they not see you'd rather benefit from the property now rather than money later? It's tricky because it is theirs to do with as they wish but it makes no sense if you and your brother are ultimately the planned beneficiaries. I'd risk one more very blunt conversation with them letting them know just how much it will impact you.

So they didn't care how upset you were?

How much will the capital gains tax be if it goes for what they think it is worth?

I agree ... sit and have a frank discussion with your parents ideally with your brother there too.