AIBU to feel upset my parents are selling their holiday home?

[DeeDeeDodo]

So I do know I am being unreasonable... but my parents own a holiday home abroad, which we go to with our kids 3-4 times a year as we absolutely love it and it is a cost effective way to have a holiday as we only pay for the flights and cleaner. I've been going for 30 years so feels like a home from home.

My parents are finding it too much to manage and get there so were going to let me and my brother take over management. However, they have now changed their minds and are going to sell it. They openly say they don't need the money, but they want to dispose of it as they're not using it. It is worth a fair amount (more than my house) and the money is just going to sit in a bank account not doing anything for anybody - my parents won't require it for care even if that time comes as they have other means.

I realise this is completely their choice, but I am crushed. I have so many of my happiest memories there, espeically of my children. It enables so much quality family time for us, which as the children get older I know will become more challenging to get at home.

We also won't really be able to afford holidays now. We both work full time in demanding jobs with long hours and have always had the next trip there booked so always had that to look forward to.

Not really sure what I am saying, but I find it upsetting that something so important to me, my husband and kids will be gone for no benefit to anybody.

Ha ha, get you with your nose out of joint because you might not get free holidays from now on. It's your parents holiday home. Their property, their rules, and their decision.

But surely capital gains tax regardless? I suppose if they sell still capital gains tax but comes out of proceeds.

Have you and DB offered to pay them the capital gains tax?

Few people could afford a £15k holiday. But if you tell us what you spend on going there 3-4 times a year for flights and cleaning, you'll get some good advice on what you could do.

It's always unpleasant having to give something up when you've had it, though. I get that.

I think it’s a real shame if they do this if they don’t need the money.

I understand they don’t want the hassle anymore, but why not give it to you and your sibling?

CGT is due regardless of whether they sell to a third party or gift it to you. At least if they give it to you, rather than sitting in a pile of cash, some IHT may be reduced.

I think we have had maybe a few holidays abroad ,say 6 and that is quite normal for many .I think France or Spain may be affordable for you and DB if you go together .You have been very fortunate up to now .Look on it as a perk you have enjoyed up to now rather than a "right"

If they'd be liable for capital gains tax if they gifted it to you and that's the only thing stopping them, could you offer to pay this with your brother, and their legal fees for selling? Or do you think they'd consider selling but say delay a couple of years while you are still having family holidays?

If not it does sound like one of those things you'll have to reframe in your head from a 'I'm sad this has gone' to 'I'm glad we had this for so long'

Maybe so the children have the motivation to build their own lives and not expect free holidays 4 times a year?
Though the OP must be at least 50 so not a child.
If the parents want to give the money to a donkey sanctuary, they should. It's their money!

Holidays are not an emergency.

Exactly. I don't understand the attitude of people who don't want to share what they have with their children. Why have them?

That is a good point.
However if they sell there would also be CGT.

I needed somone to fetch the remote.

Do you not want to say what your relationship islike with your parents?

Because the children didn't ask to be born. I don't understand this bootstraps mentality. I have to say that I hope that parents who have that attitude don't expect free care from their children.

But they would have the proceeds from the sale to pay it

my parents are in their early 80s and are starting to fret about care costs. If OPs parents are similar they may not want to gift the house and pay a couple of hundred grand from their savings as they may well need it for their care

OP has been very lucky to have her parents subsidise her holidays for so long. People saying her parents are selfish for not sharing their wealth - well they have been bearing the cost of OPs holidays for decades!!

15k??? Where is the holiday home? If you can afford 4 flights a year return for each family member (how many of you are there) then you can afford one holiday abroad.

can they now sell it to you and your brother at a reduced rate and then could you rent it out to bring in income when you’re not using it?

£7.5K per week on just accommodation? Where on earth is this.

Hiya just to say that this wouldn’t necessarily be the case as you could all claim Gift Relief - essentially this would mean that they would be deemed to have sold it to you for what they paid for it and you and your brother would inherit the “base cost”. This means you and your brother would have to pay CGT on a far higher proportion of the proceeds if/when you decide to sell. It’s definitely worth looking into 😊

If they sell it to you (rather than gift it), this also gets the property out of their estate for IHT purposes provided they live 7 years. Otherwise you might find that you have to sell it anyway when they pass in order to pay the 40% IHT.

Obviously the above isn’t advice as I don’t know all of the relevant information but definitely worth looking into.

I don't understand the attitude of people who don't want to share what they have with their children.

All those free holidays over the years don't count as sharing what they have with their children? They probably could have made a lot of money if they'd rented it out instead.

Bloody hell, I've seen some entitlement on MN over the years, but some of the posts on this thread really take the biscuit.

£15k accommodation for 2 weeks?!?! What do you want to stop in?!

just go somewhere else - most people spend nowhere close to that on accommodation!

Huh? Where is this you can’t find accommodation for less than 1 grand a night?

Good job the parents have their care prepaid. I wouldn't be falling over myself to help parents who didn't help me.

Go somewhere cheaper, then

Giving them tens of thousands of pounds worth of holidays over the years isn’t helping?

But they HAVE helped for years and years

Isn’t it about time you found somewhere new to go on holiday? I can’t imagine going to the same place year after year. Sounds a bit boring.