AIBU to say 6:30am isn’t the middle of the night?

[Shezz95]

Little backstory:

We have two children (4 and 4 months), I breastfeed so wake up with the baby but he’s a good sleeper and usually wakes up once around 4/5am. At the weekend my husband and I take turns having a lie in and getting up with the kids - in my eyes a lie in should be an hour ish so that we can still spend time together and do the morning dog walk

Yesterday I woke up at 6 to feed the baby and then went downstairs with them both around 6:20. Baby’s routine is having first nap on the dog walk 2 (ish) hours after waking. Husband is still asleep at 8:20 so I’m trying to get dressed and get kids sorted without waking him, but am also a bit annoyed as he will be out from 10am all day, so kids won’t see him

He wakes up and quickly gets dressed to come on the dog walk and then is out at the football from 10:30 - 3:30, he then gets home and says he’s popping to the pub as it’s his friends dads birthday. He comes back at about 6 and we do bedtime together - not really relevant but just that he’s not seen the kids much today and he usually does either football or cricket one day a weekend so we only have one family day

My 4 year old hasn’t been very well, very lethargic and doesn’t want to eat. This morning he comes in at 6:20 saying he’s thirsty and wants milk. Husband says we don’t get drinks in the middle of the night and that he can only have water. 4YO is crying more and more as he wants milk (probably hungry after not eating much). The baby then wakes up happily babbling.

I say it’s probably best to just wake up now as it’s usual wake up time anyway and he’s poorly etc. husband is trying to get him back to sleep - he’s not going to go as it’s 6:30 and he’s just getting more upset, so I go into the room and husband starts shooing me away and saying I give in to every little whim (I don’t, I’m usually the one disciplining/carrying out consequences). I said I’ll just wake up with them then. He calls me a martyr and starts telling me to fuck off and that I’m being fucking ridiculous etc. I feel like he just doesn’t want to wake up early with them even after hardly seeing them yesterday

AIBU to say 6:30am isn’t the middle of the night and our ill child should be allowed to have a glass of milk!?

Does your husband usually tell you to fuck off
your post doesn’t show him in a good light and he appears disengaged from you and his kids
6.30 isn’t night - it’s morning

Does he always speak to you like that?

You have written an essay basically about a twat of a husband and an happy marriage. This can’t be a revelation to you?

What is the point of him?

He sounds like an arsehole
.I say this as someone of 75, was just on the maternity leave post on here. My generation the men weren't expected to do childcare, but I was back at work by 3 months (still breastfeeding, and expressing) but my DH wouldn't behave or speak like this. midnight is the middle of the night.Some serious talking is needed.
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You’ve got a much bigger problem than whether 6.30am is night time or daytime, OP

I mean, this ^^

He was angry at his wife and child because he is a selfish arsehole

I said I’ll just wake up with them then. He calls me a martyr and starts telling me to fuck off and that I’m being fucking ridiculous etc. I feel like he just doesn’t want to wake up early with them even after hardly seeing them yesterday

The issue isn't about the time, it's about you having to do everthing and then being told to fuck off.

I dunno, he shouldn’t have told you to fuck of but it’s sounds like you were trying to undermine him at every turn and take over what he was doing. It’s fine to tell a 4y no milk until usual morning time and only water, I would do the same. My 5Y isn’t allowed up and out of bedroom until 7 and I wouldn’t be getting them milk earlier than that.
I’m not sure how the back story is relevant, yesterday was his day to lie in which is did, and still got ready in time to go on the early dog walk so what’s the issue?
This morning was his turn to deal with them and you kept trying to tell him how to do it.

At the weekend my husband and I take turns having a lie in
Point out to him that as he wouldn't get up with the child, he did not allow you to have your lie in this weekend.

Then think about what he cobtributes to the running of your home and the parenting of your children, without direction and supervision.!

To be honest you do sound a bit unbearable.
I'd need more info, though.
Does he work? Do you?

Telling you to fuck off means nothing in itself. Tone matters.

I just read a comment on another thread about living with a man who treats his family like shit. The poster effectively said imagine if he didn't live with you, how the day would have gone, how it would have been different (harder? Probably not in reality, happier? Definitely)

Is this normal in terms of him leaving stuff to you/talking to you like that?

6.20 is a totally normal wake up time for a young child and there is nothing wrong with giving a poorly little one some extra tlc. Of course he should have been able to have his milk.

Your husband is selfish and nasty. I bet he wasn’t parent of the year when you only had one child either.

I would have just got up with them as well but your DH is allowed to have a different opinion and was trying to get them back to sleep, you probably shouldn't have undermined that. Obviously the way he spoke to you was unacceptable.

Telling you to fuck off means nothing in itself. Tone matters.

Just when I think the bar can't get any lower...

Earning money so the family can survive.

Fine to say it’s not time for milk yet to a 4 year old if 6.20 isn’t your normal routine but not any abuse. I would tell mine no at 6.20! But by 4 they wouldn’t be asking so early anyway

He’s usually very hands on - does bed time, will take the kids to the park etc so I can have some time

4YO usually wakes up around 6/6:30 so there was no way he was going to go back to sleep and the baby was awake anyway

i realise the backstory was quite irrelevant really, think I was just annoyed he’d had the whole day to himself yesterday and was still hesitant with waking up with them

Bit of an antiquated view isn’t it? I’m on maternity leave at the minute and have saved up so that I will continue to pay my half of the bills until I’m back at work early next year?

So are you now saying that this is exchange is completely out of the blue and your partner telling you to fuck off came as an absolutely surprise to you?

To be fair it’s his normal wake up time (anywhere between 6/6:30) - he wouldn’t usually ask for milk and would just want to be up and starting the day - but he was unwell yesterday so think that may be why

Which day of the week do you do your hobbies OP?

In what way does OP sound unbearable? Please explain.

And in what world is telling your wife to fuck off acceptable behaviour?

Oh don't be ridiculous if I were trying to sleep after a hard working week and my dh was absolutely intent on waking me up for no good reason I might tell him to fuck off.

I’m not saying that - he can be quite sweary sometimes

I’m just saying that he doesn’t usually completely check out of parenting so wondering what caused this reaction to our son waking up at his normal time but wanting milk