To think a man with five kids he barely sees won’t be considered a catch on the dating scene?

[Bezerk]

It’s my ex. I am feeling quite bitter tonight and could do with some reassurance that he won’t continue getting everything he wants…

Well I stupidly took my ex with 4 believing she was the problem and he wanted more kids. He didn’t. We split up and it took me over a year to recover from the gaslighting. 3 years wasted of my life wasted while he was out shagging someone else 2 days later.. so there are the stupid ones like me who learn the hard way..

You’re right!

My heart rate has gone down already and I feel so much less on edge. Sleep is good too, well, as good as it can be with little ones!

He's definitely not a catch, but sadly that won't repel some women who are desperate for whatever they can get.

Also, how many kids did he have when YOU decided he's a catch?

This is exactly what my ex did. I gave him fairly unrestricted access to our daughter,after we split up. Did he take it up? Did he,heck. Barely managed a 15 minute visit once a week.And I felt that was done just so he could say to me that he'd seen her. Then I learnt that he was telling his family and friends that I wouldn't let hem see her as much as he wanted. First I knew of it was his mother phoning me and having a go about it. I put her straight but I'm not sure that she believed me.

I'm so sorry OP.
From what you've said, I would posit that he is a very unhappy person who puts on a good show to manipulate others. He is likely miserable and hates himself although he won't admit it. I'm guessing high in narcissistic traits?
You can take comfort from the fact he's probably miserable in himself, no matter how carefree or successful he tries to appear on the outside.
Any women who get involved with him are in for a bad time...

Unfortunately they are often the charmers, who will go on and on about how much they love their kids...they probably do but action speaks louder than words!
My partner has a relative who had 6 with 4 different women before he was 30. Claims he can afford it!

Someone will think they’ve found a prince amongst men. Others would run a mile.

my MIL has had multiple kids with multiple men and somehow she still manages to claw herself a new husband every 8-10 years, makes sure they earn enough to support her lazy ass and all of her kids although 3 of them are in their 30s and 40s now
so there really is someone out there for everyone it’s just a case of how desperate they are!

Any woman with half a brain cell will run a mile and some, and quite frankly I would wish them all the luck in the world, as he is bad news and WILL ruin their life.

He is no longer your problem, focus on your own priorities and ambitions.

You are completely right. I’ve been listening to the Lundy Bancroft book and he’s a textbook case.

I’m sure he’ll be charming and caring for the first few years, then slip back into his old ways when he’s comfortable, especially if more children come along.

My future, with the kids, looks tough but stable and comfortable. I’m so happy to have them despite their dad.