hospital and other children are at home and partner hasn't offered to help

[dinosaursroars]

currently in hospital with 11 year old ds and were probably going to be staying overnight

at home are my other children including my 7 month old with my eldest and his friend

my bf doesnt live with us he works shifts and is working g tonight but he knew before he started work and didnt tell them he couldnt go in or ask where baby was

im exhausted and have felt unwell myself for over a week and just exhausted so i may be just wrong for feeling like this but am I wrong to be annoying he didn't ask or offer to go to mine to look after the children or just help in sine way

I hope your 11 year old is ok.
How is your eldest getting on? Can he change and feed the baby?

He's your baby's father and he went to work under the circumstances?

He'd be an EX partner immediately and I'd be filing a CMS claim pronto. What a horrible father and partner!

You can’t leave a 7mo with your kids, even if one is a teenager. The baby needs to be with the dad or grandparents/aunts/other trusted friends or family. This isn’t about whether your boyfriend is working or should’ve offered or whatever. Whatever relationship issues and set up you have is secondary to the kids being safe and leaving the teenage son in charge is no kind of solution. The fact the baby’s dad doesn’t live with the baby is a big clue he’s not to be relied upon so you need reliable plans for this kind of situation. I’d be more worried about sorting safe childcare than anything else right now.

Let me guess, as he doesn't live with you, he doesn't know what to do with his 7m old either?

And if the 7mo’s dad is no use, is the 11yo’s or the eldest’s dad or anyone responsible for the other children? Maybe there’s only 2 dads in the mix but even that means there should be more related adults in the mix to step in when emergencies happen as they do with kids.

Why didn't you tell him? "I have to go to hospital so you'll have to take the baby tonight"

Well he needs to leave work and come and collect his child. Absolutely mental that you are putting that responsibility onto a 17 year old child not the baby’s actual parent

As a pp asked, are either of the teenagers at home responsible and competent enough to know to feed and change the baby when needed?

Of course he should be off work looking after his own baby. Why are you even waiting for him to offer? Tell him to go and look after his child.

You said the 17 yo watches the baby if you are bathing your other children. How old are ALL of your children and are they all at home with your 17 yo?

I cant leave ds on his own in hospital hes autistic and being in hospital is distressing enough he keeps saying he wants to go home and getting upset that he cant hispitsl have been good and he has a side room hut the doctors dont know what is wrong with him lhe had a weird seizure type thing which he’s never had before and before that he was complaining of belly pain

we have no family its just us i left to to go to the hospital because i was panicking and told him onthe way but he just said “hopefully ds(11yo) is okay” and then changed the subject about a house which ive already said no to i dont think us living together is the right time my 11yo is having enough change with new school and i just dont want to live with him right now tbh

but it feels he’s trying to wear me down he lent me money for my eldests birthday and i just feel he thinks i owe him or something i dont know

he looks after baby overnight when he stays over but hes never had baby on his own i wanted him to in a couple of weeks when my other children are back at school so i can do something with my eldest to celebrate his birthday even tho itll be late just me and him and bf said of course but is it just words

So how many children are there, how old are they and are they all at home with the17 yo?

(Hope they find out what's troubling your 11 yo old soon)

How many children and what ages? Any other additional needs? I'm so sorry it's awful having no support system but is your 17 yr old able to handle this with or without the baby?

If he's not responsible enough to have his baby in an emergency what's the point of him

The fact you have left your baby with a just turned 17 year old who is not experienced enough to do it is a safeguarding issue. You seem already stressed enough and I feel for you the situation your child is in but you need to ring your partner and tell him your other child cannot look after the baby, I do wonder why you had a child with that man in the first place but at the moment that’s the least of your problems

Is your 17 yo looking after other children as well as the baby?

This

Why don’t you want to leave baby with his dad? Is there something you’re not telling us?

You can’t leave a child in hospital, legally there has to be a parent or guardian with them 24/7

Hang on, the baby is his, and he’s not looking after his child while you are in this situation?

MY GOD.

Get rid of him. Don’t have children with losers.

No it isn't, 17 year olds can have children themselves funnily enough.

It is more concerning that op has multiple young children without a single other competent adult seemingly involved. Not much she can do about that now I guess but for the love of god stop having kids

OP, talk to the nursing staff and explain the baby isn’t with anyone suitable. They will be able to help you bring them in if you can’t have them at home and they sometimes allow it or help with sign posting you to emergency care. Which you might need if to he won’t step up and your son can’t look after him and then you can leave the dad after this. If you need social services help for one night it’s not a reason to take your child re off you, please don’t think that. They see it as someone doing the right thing by their children and that’s what they want

Yes you can. Parents do it all the time. Children’s nurse.

The situation with the baby's father is clearly ridiculous, but I don't think it's terrible that OP has left baby with two 17yos.

@dinosaursroars pleae ignore my previous post and talk to the nurses.

I didn’t realise this was the case as the last time my child was in overnight we were told we had to stay with them and weren’t even supposed to leave the ward/them to get ourselves food. Not that I wanted to at that point!

But it is the OP who doesn’t want to live with the father of the baby and it is OP who isn’t asking the father to step up although he should’ve offered and also she is reluctant to leave him in charge of the baby in a couple of weeks, she’s explained that, so what is really happening