hospital and other children are at home and partner hasn't offered to help

[dinosaursroars]

currently in hospital with 11 year old ds and were probably going to be staying overnight

at home are my other children including my 7 month old with my eldest and his friend

my bf doesnt live with us he works shifts and is working g tonight but he knew before he started work and didnt tell them he couldnt go in or ask where baby was

im exhausted and have felt unwell myself for over a week and just exhausted so i may be just wrong for feeling like this but am I wrong to be annoying he didn't ask or offer to go to mine to look after the children or just help in sine way

Why didn’t you leave the baby with him ?

Are they his kids?

Wait so who is currently looking after the baby? And is the partner baby’s dad?

Is your bf the babies father? If so, it's ridiculous that he has gone to work.
How old is eldest?

Well, it all depends really. Is he the father of any of your children? How long have you been together?

If your eldest is an older teen or adult and accustomed to babysitting for the baby, then everything is under control. BF isn't really needed and there isn't much he could actually do to help, although I'd expect him to be at least making sympathetic noises and keeping in touch.

Whose kids are whose

Either your partner needs to take time off work to look after the baby or you need to go home and do it while DS rests overnight in hospital. Another child should not be minding a 7 month old baby overnight.

That sounds super stressful OP. Are DS and friend able to manage the baby overnight okay? If this is because you just need some support right now that's entirely justified too of course. Perhaps tell DP that you've told DS1 to phone him if he needs him? If he's NBU then he'll be fine with that and it'll be a weight off your mind.

Does he have the sort of job where he can at least keep in touch?

.

How long have you been with bf?

If your eldest is a responsible 21 year old then that's one thing, I'm really hoping you've not left a baby home with a young teen.

Why didn't you call him and immediately tell him he needed to get over to his baby? Unless it's not his baby in which case what other adults are available?

How many children are there and how old are they?

How seriously ill is the 11yo?

Which child belongs to who?

Who is looking after the baby?

he is my baby's dad

my eldest was 17 yesterday and his friend is 17 i think she’s 18 soon. hes not used to looking after the baby because i dont ask that of him especially not overnight either
the most i ask is he watches baby if im bathing my other children and baby is still awake on the living room for example

Who is the responsible adult looking after the children at the moment?
Where is the children's father?

Unless the 11 year old is seriously ill you should go home . You can't leave a 7 month old with your other child unless he's 18 or over and very capable . Is the baby your BFs ch I ld ? If so he should be at home, if not it's too much to expect him to leave work to babysit .

If the baby is your boyfriend’s child, you don’t wait for him to offer. You call him up and tell him that he is on parenting duty indefinitely.

if he is not the father, he doesn’t need to be your babysitter.

Is bf the childrens Dad? If so yanbu. If not, hard as it is its not his responsibility especially if he is at work with bills to pay. How long have you been together? If your eldest is an adult he probably thinks the situation is under control. Did you ask him to help? Is there anyone else who can support you? Its a difficult situation but I think if you havent already you need to tell him what you need.

I’m going to strongly disagree about leaving any minor child alone in the hospital. You need to keep an advocate with your child if at all possible. Only leave if all other options are exhausted.

Right okay. Do you feel like they can do this? If DP needs to go home then call his work and tell him so.

There will be time for a conversation about being proactive and not just option out of emergencies, but that can happen another day. For now call and tell him that his kid needs looking after, that your eldest isn't experienced enough to do a whole night. He needs to leave work.

How many children do you have? The child's dad needs to be stepping up.

I just don’t understand the situation, why are you waiting for the dad to ask about the baby? When you needed to take 11 year old to the hospital why didn’t you tell the dad he needed to come and get the baby?
You don’t live together but is he actually involved? Is this typical?

So the BF needs to come home & parent the baby. I assume that the BF isn't the father of the 11 yo. Where is that one's father?

You need to tell your useless bf to come and look after his child. How shite is he? Why have you expected your child to look after the baby and not baby’s own dad? You need to demand he parents his own child not just be disappointed he didn’t offer. What a useless shite he is

So the boyfriend is the father of the baby
He can look after the baby