Was my friend out of line?

[littleonesleepy]

I saw a friend yesterday who had been having an affair for about two months with a married man and he has now left his wife to be with her.
When he left his wife he moved straight in with her and they started to have the children every Sunday or she might have said Saturdays but one weekend day a week but this has been the arrangement for about 3 months now and the first the kids knew about her was visiting dad in her house when they split.
She doesn’t know the wife but has seen her when they pick the kids up although only from the car but she doesn’t have a good word to say about their mum.

She told me she went to the kids school sports day because their dad was working and the kids who are in year 4 and 6 had asked her to.
She then said that the kids mum was there as she expected but was unaware she was going too and she started saying how the mum seemed really sniffy about her being there.
I know she has a right to be there if she wanted but I couldn’t help thinking this poor woman’s just had her world blown apart and the OW brazenly just turns up out the blue at her children sports day and puts her down for what she describes as seemed sniffy about it and then scorned her more by saying she didn’t look happy about her being chatty with the other mum’s who I presume she would have felt uncomfortable standing with if she was, she is not a mum herself so wouldn’t have known any of these mums.

I am really surprised at the lack of empathy she has for the ex 3 months after an almost 20 year marriage.
Did she go too far going to sports day on her own?

I know it’s none of my business but the way she worded it as if I was meant to agree that the ex was pathetic for feeling uncomfortable she turned up and I just couldn’t see my friends point in berating her because how did she expect her to be? after all she knew she was going so was prepared to see her where it would have been a complete surprise for the mum to see her come along.
I didn’t recognise my friend, she seems to utterly hate the woman and almost resentful that she feels hurt.

Your friend is horrendous. I’d tell her what I think about it and end the friendship.

IMO she had no business being at the sports day. Disgraceful behaviour. If I was the ex-wife and anyone asked me about it I’d tell them exactly the circumstances.

Lmao do you know the meaning of misogyny?

This is a disgusting human and I would walk away from the friendship and never look back.

Oh please do you really think the cheating father has any idea what is appropriate? 🤦‍♀️

Your friend is a terrible person and is colluding with a terrible man. She will find out that when a man leaves his wife and moves in with his mistress he has automatically creates a vacancy. She is not the mother of those poor kids. She is not going to be a permanent fixture in their lives. She needs to wind her neck in. Honestly why are some women like this?

She sounds like a psychopath.

👏🏻👏🏻this, my exact thought

Your friend had no right whatsoever to be coming to those kids sports day at all when she's only been living with their dad for the last three months. He shouldn't have even introduced his new partner to them at all at this point especially as he had already been shagging her before he left their mum to fuck off and shack up with her. His ex wife has every right to be pissed off that this home wrecking bitch dared to show up at her kids school acting like she's her kids new mummy figure. Even if the split was amicable and he'd moved on after splitting with his wife it wasn't appropriate for her to even meet his kids. There is no way in hell after a couple of visits that the kids who are all of 9 and 11 years old have suddenly begged their dad's new girlfriend to see them at their school sports day seeing as they already have a mum who was going even if their dad couldn't. Your friend sounds like a smug cow she knew the kids mum wasn't going to make a scene at her kids school. I'll bet she's gloated to her boyfriend that she's annoyed his ex massively if she's said all this to you.

Has this woman been your friend for very long? Only this behaviour didn't come out of nowhere - the entitlement and absolute lack of empathy must have been on the horizon before, surely?

I can understand WHY she's doing some of these things; she must feel desperately insecure, she barely knows this man and all of a sudden he's left his wife for her and moved in and is trying to build happy families, but, dear lord, does she have absolutely no comprehension of social niceties? She is going to be in for one awful wake up lesson shortly.

yet you remain friends with the man who cheated! A single woman can have a relationship with whoever she wants. Stop villainising a women when it was your male friends that were the issue.

Your friend is only showing up at sports day to rub the kids mothers nose in it. I’ve had experience of something similar. These ow don’t give a shit about the kids, they need to butt out and stop acting like a loving family member. I personally hope she gets her just desserts because how you get them is how you lose them.

Wow! I stress wasn’t the OW. However, DSD does often invite me to school things etc. I always check with mum first (sometimes there’s limited tickets etc). She is the mum not me. So odd.

Again, the whole vacancy saying is just something that wronged women tell each other to make themselves feel better. Unless someone is a serial cheater, there is no reason to believe they will continue to do so, despite what you may want to believe.

Wow! No friend of mine would behave like this. (Because they would absolutely not be my friend anymore).

No one bar the husband and wife knows what happened at home or how their life was pre your friend. But your friend should absolutely not be getting so involved with the children at this stage and should have some compassion towards the wife.

Couldn’t be friends with someone like that. Ew.

Don’t make me laugh 😂 I have seen it happen many, many times. These type of men are usually serial philanderers. The ‘other woman’ or ‘mistress’ is just a prop, they have no idea how unimportant they actually are. By the way the vacancy saying was originally said by a man, Terence Conran.

Is there no end to her selfishness? Is there any consideration towards this poor woman whose life has just been torn apart?

Correction. Sorry my bad it was James Goldsmith not Terence Conran.

What a weirdo turning up to the Childrens sports day like that. How completely inappropriate. I had a similar thing happen to me. Ex invited his new girlfriend to my daughter’s 5th birthday party at Battersea Zoo. He didn’t contribute a penny towards it, but of course I let him know and invited him. She turned up uninvited by me, the host, and put her entry fee on my tab. I didn’t know she was coming until one of friends pointed her out fixing her make up around a corner. It was humiliating for me having her turn up just as my daughter started a new school. She didn’t say a word to me or even acknowledge me the entire time.

Some people have no class. Your friend is an arsehole. I’d have to say something.

Poor kids .

I find your friend's behaviour quite suggestive, to be honest.

Her venom towards his wife suggests to me that all is not well in The Love Nest. I wonder if this man is already regretting leaving his wife and has voiced this to your friend.

Turning up at the sports day (and I really don't believe that the children had suggested to her that she come, because children by and large just don't do that) was a power play, a dominance display - a cat pissing on something to mark out its territory. And that again points to her feeling vulnerable in this relationship, so trying to make his wife feel bad to 'even the score', as it were.

Bragging about the kids loving her - after just three months of seeing her one day a week? I don't think so!

All in, I'd say your friend knows that her coat is on a shaky peg, and he could walk at any moment, hence her performative pissing to claim territory she knows isn't actually hers and most likely never will be hers.

She's toast. Ain't karma wonderful?

Your “friend” is a CF. Please distance yourself from her. TBH it’s easier for the new partner to shine. When a women or partner is bogged down with kids, washing, house keeping and waiting on a partner for 20 years we will she how well she’s doing. Roll on 50/50 custody and her running around after kids that arnt even hers. She will realise sooner or later she didn’t win the prize… The wife is also entitled to a lot of she is main childcare provider and he has committed adultery. You friend should be embarrassed of her shizzy behaviour. I hope she gets treated the same sooner down the line.

But you’ve stayed friends with the men who cheated on their wives? Interesting.

How massively uncomfortable for you and how odd for your daughter. I hope it got sorted one way or the other.

I think this is a reverse. It’s obvious the OW Is behaving appallingly. Nobody would describe her as a friend. This is the wronged wife writing and we’re all on her side!