Was my friend out of line?

[littleonesleepy]

I saw a friend yesterday who had been having an affair for about two months with a married man and he has now left his wife to be with her.
When he left his wife he moved straight in with her and they started to have the children every Sunday or she might have said Saturdays but one weekend day a week but this has been the arrangement for about 3 months now and the first the kids knew about her was visiting dad in her house when they split.
She doesn’t know the wife but has seen her when they pick the kids up although only from the car but she doesn’t have a good word to say about their mum.

She told me she went to the kids school sports day because their dad was working and the kids who are in year 4 and 6 had asked her to.
She then said that the kids mum was there as she expected but was unaware she was going too and she started saying how the mum seemed really sniffy about her being there.
I know she has a right to be there if she wanted but I couldn’t help thinking this poor woman’s just had her world blown apart and the OW brazenly just turns up out the blue at her children sports day and puts her down for what she describes as seemed sniffy about it and then scorned her more by saying she didn’t look happy about her being chatty with the other mum’s who I presume she would have felt uncomfortable standing with if she was, she is not a mum herself so wouldn’t have known any of these mums.

I am really surprised at the lack of empathy she has for the ex 3 months after an almost 20 year marriage.
Did she go too far going to sports day on her own?

I know it’s none of my business but the way she worded it as if I was meant to agree that the ex was pathetic for feeling uncomfortable she turned up and I just couldn’t see my friends point in berating her because how did she expect her to be? after all she knew she was going so was prepared to see her where it would have been a complete surprise for the mum to see her come along.
I didn’t recognise my friend, she seems to utterly hate the woman and almost resentful that she feels hurt.

Your friend is horrible. In fact I think she would be an ex friend now.

I hope you look back on that time and also recognise you were groomed. 33 and 17 is not ok, marriage or no x

Your friend is vile. I wouldn’t be continuing the friendship and would be telling her why. We need to start holding people accountable for their shitty behaviour.

Out of line? She’s so far over the line she obviously can’t even see it any more. If she were my friend I’m afraid I be laying out the bare facts for her (ie; She’s completely delusional and a nasty bitch) before stepping away completely.

She might have meant that but it’s not what she said. And also that’s not even correct, it may be a free county but if I just wanted to walk into a random primary school grounds and watch some kids for the day I wouldn’t be allowed, ‘free country’ doesn’t translate to it being ok for anyone to enter school grounds.

If anyone doesn’t understand narcissists this is a good thread to help them. She is a raging narcissist (maybe not diagnosable with NPD but definitely extremely high in traits) and I would give her a wide berth because she will turn that on you if you don’t go along with her self focussed BS.

Your ‘friend’ and her cheating partner are vile humans. The kids will be so confused and will be the ones in the middle for years to come.

I hope the ex wife gets way more than she is entitled to and I hope your friend gets cheated on by this vile man.

Block her, you don’t need this ‘friend’ in your life.

I had this happen to me

My ex ran off with my best mate (!) just after I'd had his baby

They'd been shagging the whole of my pregnancy and his ds (from his 1st marriage) went to the same school as mine other dc did

I didn't know they where both going to rock up at sports day ('for the sake of his first ds,he thinks of me as mummy' this child already had a mummy who wasn't best happy) and the teachers asked me to leave my buggy in the school and carry my 6 month old ds round the school field (which i did)

Apparently I was 'rubbing her nose in it' by carrying my baby ds around on the school field (she couldn't have kids and was desperate enough to have tried to take him with her when they'd come to my house to tell me they where shagging) and kicked off because I refused to hand ds over to her

She also got 'sniffy' (read,'went mental and kicked off') when my school mum friends refused to speak to her

I should have been pleased he'd found a 'better woman' than I was

She repeated this at the Christmas assembly (they'd broken up by then) and kicked off because he was asleep in his pushchair (she thought he should have been sat with her) and was banned from the school

Some people are just nasty and very deluded

Do you want to be friends with someone who is fundamentally unkind? I wouldn’t.

It’s OK to find a friends behaviour so morally reprehensible that you see them in a new light and don’t want to hang out with them anymore.

That would be the case here for me. She’s not a nice person. Especially considering children are involved. Life is too short to be friends with arseholes, let alone listen to them being nasty.

It's probably easier for your friend to come to terms with her abysmal behaviour if she paints the mother of the children as some sort of horrific person.

I don't like your friend. She's no morals, no decency, she's really not very nice. Her and the new fella will implode one day because they are both unhealthy, selfish and horrible people.

Those poor kids.

strictly speaking why are we blaming the other woman ? the man was the married one ?

what happened to women being sisters so to speak

Was your friend out of line?

So many lines crossed. I wouldn't be friends with this type of person.

I would be more than sniffy in this position.

Some women don't deserve the sister label. We all have agency in our decision making most of the time. She made a decision to form a relationship with a married man with children. That kicks her firmly out of the sisterhood.

Well yeah she's nuts. Although I do wonder if the husband has fed your friend a load of bullshit about the ex. I know a few women who have had relationships with married men, who claimed their wives were abusive in some way. They turned out to be lying.

Wow she’s cold. I’ve known a few relationships that started as affairs and have gone on to be long and happy so that isn’t the issue for me, but your friend and her partner behaving the way they have is awful. There was no need for her to go to sports day. I doubt the kids cared she was there they’d have been just as happy with only their mum there. Possibly happier in fact. Children have a knack for picking up on unpleasant atmospheres even when the adults in their lives think they’re being clever with it.

Have you not read the thread at all? How is this question even relevant to OPs thread about her friend being horrible about another woman?

What a nasty cow your friend is. But Karma is also a bitch so hopefully will bite her in the arse. If he cab have one affair, maybe he will have another!

because an affair took place if the friend was single then why blame her for the affair ?

I don’t need sisters like that thanks!

Also I blamed them both in my previous comment.

So because the friend was single it’s okay she takes no blame? Where is the sisterhood there that you go on about??

I'd blame both people having the affair for the affair.

Sniffy!? SNIFFY?

fuck me, id be raging

your friend is an appalling person @littleonesleepy

id drop her and tell her why.

So no you’ve not read what the thread is about then.

She will be sniffly when he cheats on her, only a matter of time. But yes she shouldn't of gone to the children's sports day it's weird for a 3 month relationship.

because he could have told her x y z to begin with etc