Was my friend out of line?

[littleonesleepy]

I saw a friend yesterday who had been having an affair for about two months with a married man and he has now left his wife to be with her.
When he left his wife he moved straight in with her and they started to have the children every Sunday or she might have said Saturdays but one weekend day a week but this has been the arrangement for about 3 months now and the first the kids knew about her was visiting dad in her house when they split.
She doesn’t know the wife but has seen her when they pick the kids up although only from the car but she doesn’t have a good word to say about their mum.

She told me she went to the kids school sports day because their dad was working and the kids who are in year 4 and 6 had asked her to.
She then said that the kids mum was there as she expected but was unaware she was going too and she started saying how the mum seemed really sniffy about her being there.
I know she has a right to be there if she wanted but I couldn’t help thinking this poor woman’s just had her world blown apart and the OW brazenly just turns up out the blue at her children sports day and puts her down for what she describes as seemed sniffy about it and then scorned her more by saying she didn’t look happy about her being chatty with the other mum’s who I presume she would have felt uncomfortable standing with if she was, she is not a mum herself so wouldn’t have known any of these mums.

I am really surprised at the lack of empathy she has for the ex 3 months after an almost 20 year marriage.
Did she go too far going to sports day on her own?

I know it’s none of my business but the way she worded it as if I was meant to agree that the ex was pathetic for feeling uncomfortable she turned up and I just couldn’t see my friends point in berating her because how did she expect her to be? after all she knew she was going so was prepared to see her where it would have been a complete surprise for the mum to see her come along.
I didn’t recognise my friend, she seems to utterly hate the woman and almost resentful that she feels hurt.

😳😲 wowsers!
She's sounds like a nasty lady !
I would steer clear of someone like this !
She is deluded ! And deffo can't see what she has done is wrong and the husband !!
That poor woman !!
If it was me and ow turned up at my kids sports day I think I'd wud have lumped her one lol 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 !!!!

You should have said something OP.

This isn't someone you want in your life anyway.

Your friend might find out that now she has moved up in the pecking order she has created a vacancy beneath her for a new girlfriend. Karma and all.

The married man is vile for doing this to his 'ex' wife and children. The friend is vile for bad mouthing the mum, meeting the children so early, and especially going to the sports day (clearly wanting to rub the wife's nose in it). Both sound horrendous and I definitely wouldn't want to be mates with that.

Bitch, cow etc are standard detrimental nouns for deeply unpleasant women. Men have their equivalent.

This isn’t about the kids. It’s about her actions, behaviour and attitude to her partner’s ex. The mother of his children.

I wouldn' t want to be friends with someone so deviod of empathy and with no sense of what is appropriate behaviour. It must be a shock to see your friend in this new and unpleasant light.

Your friend is a psychopath.

If the OP's friend believed in the sisterhood she wouldn't have been shagging another woman's husband in the first place.

Honestly? I think it is up to the husband - he chose to have an affair and leave his wife.

BUT choosing to go to sports day to see children who aren’t yours is an extremely weird thing to do. I have a friend whose husband left her for a younger woman - and they make a point of both turning up to all his children’s events (this really upsets my friend). We (her friends) are quite bemused by this - I can’t imagine going to an 8 year old’s school play if they weren’t my child. Presumably they (the husband and his new girlfriend) think it makes them look like more of a couple.

Or the new girlfriend is so insecure she can't stand the thought of her 'boyfriend' being anywhere near his children's mother.

She'd be an ex-friend. She's awful.

I agree with your thoughts on this. Your friend seems selfish, immature and nasty. I wouldnt be holding back - but then me and my bestie call each other out on shite like that!

Your friend is making a terrible fool of herself over this man. Two months in and she's providing a home and parenting duties for a cheat who probably only showed up on her doorstep because his wife kicked him out. If that's not enough self humiliation she's publicly trying to mark territory which will be highly transparent to everyone who's sees her.
If you care about this woman you should probably be concerned about what is wrong with her to bring herself so low.

No child who of that age, who’s father has shacked up with another whore, would ask her to go to their sports day.
rethink your friends, because this one, is vile,

I was not a fan of your friend when you said married man... But wow she managed to get even worse!

Your friend is a horrible person. Her new boyfriend is a horrible person.

Ask yourself, are these really the type of people you want to associate with?

So young children who have spent a total (at most) of 12 days with this vile woman, "asked her" to attend their sports day?!!? Pull the other one. She went deliberately to get sight of the ex-wife and make sure she was suffering. And she's gloating about that. What would she even have to say to the other mothers at the sports day: "Hi, I'm just here with Sophie and Charlie. I'm their new step-mother."??? Bet that went down well.
If you are any kind of a friend to this woman, I would read her the riot act. Tell her in excruciating details how much she is hurting the other woman and the children. And how she is extremely selfish. Then drop her.

And also how that translates into her dealings with the children. Seems like a massive misjudgement, what else is she trying to do, with the Dads endorsement?

I hope he gives her the clap.

She sees the other perspective OP, but when you are so categorically in the wrong, all you can really do is deny, deny.

Ex wives almost always get slagged off by the subsequent partner. I take it with a grain of salt on these boards when a woman tries to claim the ex is abominable. I always feel like asking what it says about them if their DP has such poor taste.

I would stay out of it completely . Not your circus, not your clowns.

Let me guess you guys are in your 20s, the bloke is in his 40s.

Your friend sounds bitterly jealous of ex and is determined to basically take over the role of the 'wife' to prove she is better. Anything will go as she loves him and putting herself first yadadada and she will 'win'

Next she will be pregnant and decide she doesnt want the kids around so much.

Dump her, evil bitch.

Setting aside the affair and the ex, I couldnt be friend with someone so fucking selfish and stupid that she thought it was appropriate to turn up in those kids lives like that, and that she thought it was okay for him to treat his own kids that way. Genuinely disgraceful behaviour.