So angry what is wrong with some parents

[fumingrightnow1]

My dd14 was supposed to be sleeping at a friend's tonight. They have had an argument and she said let's just leave it and go to sleep her friend told her she had to leave so she's walked home and just come in the door at gone 10pm. I can't believe the mum didn't step in and do anything or let me know and I would've got her. I've said to dd why didn't you call me but she just shrugged and said she was fine walking and didn't want to stand outside waiting for me. Its about a 10 minute walk. I don't let her out on her own at this time of night. As a parent i would have stepped in and can't believe this other mum did nothing.

I expect she went quickly and the other girl's mum didn't know until she was gone. Maybe still doesn't know!

The important thing is you daughter is OK.

A ten minute walk before 10pm is not unreasonable for a fourteen year old, they all do it. I would only worry if she was walking along lonely, isolated roads with not much light.

I hope the girls make up, these things happen.

Who has an argument when their child has a mate sleeping over?? Well these idiots obviously. Grow up you utter fannies.

I assume the parent wouldn't have expected her to walk home if she wasn't allowed to.

What do you expect your Facebook message to achieve?

The mum sounds useless. I wouldn’t let your dd stay there again. Appalling to let a child walk home at 10pm alone in the dark.

Equally, your dd needs to take responsibility for her own safety. She should have called you immediately as she became aware she was leaving.

Is all it takes for some of the worst things to happen. Unless you've never been aware of tragic cases that involved similar circumstances.

Im more shocked someone would allow their child to sleep over a friends house that they don’t know the parent of and dont have any of their contact details

Are you ok? The kids had an argument not the parents.

She’s 14 not seven! It would be perfectly fine in some areas and not in others. Ten minutes down the road from your friend’s house doesn’t sound particularly treacherous to me.

My dd used to come home from sports practice by herself at this time of night on a regular basis when she was fifteen.

The other mum should have given you a quick text but it was up to your dd to ring you at her age Op, so I think you are over-reacting a bit, sorry. You could have met your dd half way if she had called you to say she was setting off.

Unfortunately tragic cases happen in broad daylight too.

I don’t think we do our teens any favours at all by being over-protective and treating them like much younger children.

Well the kids need to grow up then!

She's home, she's safe. It's over, move on.

Amazing what some fathers are let off for. So much justifiable anger here but directed at the mum.

The lengths people will go to these days to avoid actually disciplining their children. If your DD knows she is not allowed out by herself at that time of night, then she is the one who has broken your rules. So don’t deflect onto the other mother, just parent your child better.

Either the Mom drives your DD home or the Mom and her DD walks your DD home (since it was only a 10 minute walk). That would have been the polite thing to do.

Did you mean to type 4 not 14 ?

Unless you live somewhere rough then a 10 minute walk at age 14 should be fine.

Hope dd is ok.
I can understand her just going and wanting to get out and leave. The walk probably did her good HOWEVER I don’t think this is your dd’s fault. The other parent had a child in her care, who she is actually responsible for whilst at her home- she has failed this miserably.

Any decent parent would have sat your dd downstairs, called you or got dd to call you and CHECK of you are happy for dd to walk home alone whilst saying to her own dd wait upstairs.

Lesson learned but I do hope your dd is ok.

I would be fuming too. What the heck was the mother thinking? Had the worst happened, you would have no idea and assume that she was safe in her friend’s home.
This is not an overreaction. There has been too many incidents where young girls are assaulted when walking alone.
Yanbu.

Sounds like @fumingrightnow1 does not have phone number of parent where daughter was staying overnight (WTF?), so other mum probably didn't have OP's number. How then could the other mum tell OP in a timely manner?

I suppose I would have told the girl to call her mother and wait in the sitting room, maybe that's what happened and the angry 14 year old said no thanks and flounced out into the night, that is also what I would have done at that age.

Odd that you didn’t have the mother’s phone number - and clearly she doesn’t have yours.

Your daughter knows you don’t allow her out at that time of the night by herself, so she defied you . She’s old enough to know better . She should have rang you but gave a weak excuse .

I would say that’s exactly what happens, teenagers storm off. The mother most likely assumed that DD would call you.

Exactly, don’t blame the other mother

My daughter and her friend used to sleep over at each other's houses much younger than that, in the days before mobile phones. Very nearby, a minute or 2. Nightmare though, as they inevitably fell out and one or the other would do a midnight flit. The other mum would sleep through it all but I being insomniac would be downstairs half awake waiting for the inevitable bang on the door.

Shocked that you let your daughter stay at someone’s house and you don’t even know her number.