So angry what is wrong with some parents

[fumingrightnow1]

My dd14 was supposed to be sleeping at a friend's tonight. They have had an argument and she said let's just leave it and go to sleep her friend told her she had to leave so she's walked home and just come in the door at gone 10pm. I can't believe the mum didn't step in and do anything or let me know and I would've got her. I've said to dd why didn't you call me but she just shrugged and said she was fine walking and didn't want to stand outside waiting for me. Its about a 10 minute walk. I don't let her out on her own at this time of night. As a parent i would have stepped in and can't believe this other mum did nothing.

*she could have or "could've". Why do so many people write "could of"? 🤔

Exactly 💯 💯

Common sense. Got a source that demonstrates it’s no safer today than in the past?

Yes, if there weren't even an exchange of numbers and checking with the parent that her child could sleep there why would the parent think she couldn't do a walk at 10pm.

I'm surprised you are so caught up on the walking home at night, without having taken the simple precaution of exchanging numbers, so that a foreseeable event like this would not result in your daughter having to walk home at night in the dark at ten of the clock

This is unacceptable.
I would never have left her leave alone.
I would have called you or given her another room.

Yeah, this is weird. The way it was set up, you trusted your daughter to handle herself in a strange house with people you barely know but is worried about her walking ten minutes at night. And that wouldn't have been an issue if she had called you.

And which self respecting parent would leave a pre schooler alone in bed to walk a 14 year old 10 mins home?

The OP said "She has a car, she doesn't have small children".

I would also point out to your daughter that walking down the street at night crying makes her a target. Predators will seek out girls who appear vulnerable. it’s important to know this.

It’s not really about whether it’s ok for a 14 year old to walk home at that time.
If she hadn’t made it safely home nobody would have been looking for her until the next day.

In that case maybe. But in general. The post I quoted was what ANY self respecting parent lets a 14 year old walk alone

I was drinking snowballs at the disco when I was 14

Now that’s a forgotten memory, so was I !

Yes this. I remember when my daughter was this age there was a craze going round where the teens would tell their parents they were having a sleepover at a friend's house and then a group of them would spend all night at a park just messing about. 'All nighters' it was known as.

I agree with a lot of others that this isn’t on the other Mum.

She doesn’t even have the OP’s phone number and expecting a lift home for a 10 min walk (half a mile?) is surely overkill. Ideally she would have phoned or texted to give OP a heads up to maybe walk out and meet her halfway but they’ve never exchanged numbers so 🤷‍♀️

I wouldn’t wait for a reply on Facebook Messenger - if you’re not friends on Facebook the message may not even pop up, and so many people rarely use Messenger, it’s a long shot she’ll receive it.

'I' do not do this - my daughter has dance class almost every night, finishing up sometime between 8-10 pm. We either walk or drive up to meet her. They all come out together and maybe 1/3 of them have parents there at this point - they're 12-16 years old. The others just walk home. I am in the suburbs of a city so personally I think it's too risky as it's not super busy on the roads but also not super quiet. Other parents have made other assessments. When they were littler they all got driven around but once the girls hit high school the parents have started phasing this out. Obviously at some point before 16 I'm going to have to let her do this, otherwise Uni will be a massive shock to the system!

I find it much more worrying that you allow your child to sleep in a house you don't know the adults well or have contact details. I would think she is as unsafe in that house with unknown adults as she is walking home. A lot of abuse happens in these situations. None of the parents here were doing the right thing.

Me too OP. I live in a really safe area and still I wouldn’t let my 15 yo DD walk alone at night.

Time to have a conversation with your daughter about how to make sure she makes it home safe in the evening and your expectations.

Please don't blame sleepover mum. This isn't a primary school sleepover.

So what would you do if you have young children at home in bed as well?

I agree I would not allow a 14 year old to walk home alone at 10. The mother is responsible for her as she was a guest in her home.

🤣🤣

I think there is a difference between "letting" (I would certainly not plan for teen DD to walk home at 10pm on her own ) and thinking it is the most awful thing ever if it happens.

In your case, DD is home safely, I would think it was less than ideal, but I would not think it was the other parent's fault. DD is at an age where she needs to be capable of making judgement calls herself. She thought it was fine to walk home on her own. If you disagree, you need a conversation about why this is so.

It's not safe if no-one knew the 14 year old (or any age) was doing it. So friend's mother thinks OP's DD is upstairs. OP thinks DD is at friend's. No contact perhaps till morning at breakfast when OP's DD is not there. Friend's mum rings OP to check her DD is at home and she is not. She has been missing since 10 last night and no-one knew. Not safe at all. DD should have phoned OP. She should also have told friend's mum (and so should friend) she was leaving and that person should have phoned OP in case her DD didn't (because 14 year olds have no idea of the dangers of walking home in the dark when no-one knows where they are). Did friend's mum call OP at all?