To wonder if anyone has a normal, wholesome, monogamous relationship/marriage anymore

[Overthinkingotter]

Was talking to some friends (unknown to each other) who seem really normal/wholesome types…no! They’ve either done, or are doing, the whole swinging/open marriage thing.

Obviously, fair play to them. But just wondering, are there people out there who have a nice, normal, wholesome (boring, I suppose) monogamous relationship/marriage? Especially those with kids.

I do get it and, if it works, why not. But I like to think that monogamy is the model most long term relationships follow? Or am I very naive?

Has anyone been with their partner for a long time and managed to not be unfaithful or sleep with other people in whatever context?

Relationship-wise my aspiration has always been to never give someone enough power over me that I would suffer emotionally or practically if they left,

I guess I’m doing rather well with that. 😊

now this is getting a tad on the judgy side don't you think OP? Is the faux naivety mask slipping a little?

To be with someone since before you hit your teens is fairly unusual, is it not? To go from childhood to middle age together and presumably never being a single person isn’t something most people do. Great if it works for someone, I already said that.

Why are you being so defensive about someone else’s relationship?

We've been married 27 years, together 29 and completely faithful. We love each other, that's why.

You've been together since childhood?

Why you think its ok to be so rude and ignorant about someone elses relationship?.

That seems reasonable. Though I don't think that goal excludes a lifelong relationship.

I think it is unusual but possibly not as unusual as we might expect. Some people just happen to meet the right person earlier in life than others.

DH and I have been married for 26 years and together for 28 years. We’re mid to late 40s. Never been with anyone else for either of us. We’re monogamous. No way would we open up the marriage. If we get bored sexually we try something different together, like a new toy or new position or new technique.

We're a pretty good example of this. Been married a bloody long time..a few bumps along the road but I know we're both in it for the long haul.

Oh dear. Hit a nerve did i.

I think it was me who hit a nerve, given your totally disproportionately angry and insulting comments. I have clearly triggered something in you.

Please note that other posters are capable of engaging without getting so angry.

If you have anything substantive to say to me then great, but it seems unlikely, given that you are just throwing insults and cliches, despite my original comment not even being about or to you. 🤣

The world wholesome needs to be retired

Yes definitely, we've been together for 54 years, married for 52 years.76 and 74 years old.
Totally faithful to each other.We have had a relatively easy life though, as we have no children, so haven't had the pressures of family life.

Yes I think we are normal. Been married 36 years though no children.

What an odd thread. Monogamous doesn’t always equal wholesome or nice. Reading about some people’s long term monogamous relationships on here, engrained with misogyny and financial abuse would have me running for the hills.

I can’t believe the OP knows two people who have opened up their marriage and thinks the whole world is at it. If you need validation that your long term monogamous relationship is ‘nice and normal’, I would say that maybe you might have more issues than you think.

Normal too here although second marriage of 20 years. In late 50’s now and couldn’t be bothered with any drama.

Met 1996 still together 2 adult children both have own home !
Married never been unfaithful very happy together best friends !
We respect each other we are intimate and we have alot of fun ! .
And sometimes we are boring 😁!
But we are happy !!

51 years married in September to someone I met when I was 15,I we don't swing we are strictly monogamous but I can assure you our relationship is anything but boring.

Cheers to that! 🥂🍻

Not even a bit triggered.
You clearly have issues, no matter what you claim.

My friend and our partners attended a BBq. All very nice and middle class outside bar setup. We left at about 1030 my friend felt rather ushered out, i didnt notice Autistic so social cues arent my thing. Did notice the Jacuzzi being switched on and was getting a bit looser. Found out all the others were well known swingers, we were there on Apro, they obviously rejected us, dont know wether to be relieved or offended.

Okay then 🙄 I guess it is pointless arguing with someone who is only capable of throwing insults instead of actually making a point - batshit 🤣🤣🤣

I have been married for 38 years, neither of us have been unfaithful. I do feel though that our relationship is more like a brother and sister one. Sex between us finished years ago and my husband shows me no physical affection. I do try to give him a hug in bed but it is not reciprocated. He is 71 and I am 75.