Disney loving men

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What are you thoughts on Disney loving men? It’s one of the things that contributed to my divorce I would say. Am I wrong here?

his obsession really got out of control in the end and it Really put me off. He was spending money on this hobby. A middle aged man tweeting about princess movies and obsessing over Mickey Mouse. He’s into other stuff that is similar but would be too outing to discuss. When he likes something he REALLY likes it.

we do have kids that show a moderate interest in Disney, I would say a normal level for kids. they are actually older and kinda moving away from it now anyway.

would this put you off? Or was I unreasonable?

We go to Disney in Paris quite annually as the kids like it. Personally I think the groups of adults wearing mini-mouse ears are odd. I get some of them are the Sunflower squad, but others queuing up to go on Dumbo the flying elephant? Really? Plenty of grown women queue up for a picture of themselves with someone dressed up as a cartoon mouse. It is just odd. When the kids are too old we will move on and leave the kids experience to other parents to enjoy with their kids.

I’ve been accepting for 20 years as he’s spent money, caused us to remortgage and sought relationships with other women

This right here is you putting up with it.

@Mooselander yeah you got me! Gotcha moment right there that’s exactly right, I knew when we were in our 20s that he would do this 15 years later. So it’s all my fault. Where is the reset switch? Or maybe I can get a backbone on vinted? When I get my next boyfriend shall I pick another dickhead deliberately… you know, just for fun!

Could he be ND? An intense focus on special interests and blindness to other topics is a common feature in both autism & ADHD. Sounds like his executive function might not be great.

I’ve never met a man who was into Disney, but I have met some who are into Lego or Marvel, which I find deeply unattractive. Especially if they are over 30.

Look, you made a poor choice first time around. That’s okay. Lots of people do. Just own it.

He’s a cheat. His hobbies and interests are irrelevant. He would still be a cheat if he had had what you deem as an “appropriate hobby”. He would still be a cheat if he did what you’ve done and based your entire life around the kids.

You’re angry. You’re embarrassed. You’re ashamed. You’re bitter and resentful and jealous, and you’re lashing out over his hobbies because it’s somewhere for you to focus your attention.

@Mooselanderwow yes that’s exactly it yes! Are you are psychologist by any chance? A doctor? No wait, a psychic? A mind reader?!

I am angry. I’m NOT embarrassed. I’m NOT ashamed… I got my wonderful kids. I’m certainly NOT jealous. I’m sad for the kids. and I’m starting to feel sorry for the man.

aw you nearly had it right keep going my little mindreader, gold star.

YANBU. I also find grown women with this obsession very odd.

My DH doesn't mind the odd Disney film and we went to DLP at his request. My male colleague was also very happy to go to Florida on a work trip so he could fit in a day at Disney. Neither of them obsess over it though!

My god, some PP are a pain in the arse attention seekers but I'm loving your responses to them 👏

Oh dear - that sounds really weird. It would be weird for any adult in my book, but I agree that (in our society) it's extra weird for an adult male.

I've never been a Disney fan. I acknowledge his achievement historically in creating full-length animations - especially in the pioneering Snow White, but I hate pretty much everything else.

I will never forgive Disney for the crimes which are Fantasia and what they did the Winnie the Pooh and Alice in Wonderland. How very dare they, the cultural philistines.

To my husband, Disney is something you sit through with a rictus grin to humour your very young children. Anything more than that and he'd run for the hills!

And I'm not going to say 'but each to their own' because I do think this man is weird.

I think it’s really odd when any adult is Disney obsessed. I like certain Disney films and love a theme park but grown women with Disney tattoos or stickers on their car, just no. I just can’t take these people seriously.

I think that there's something off with people that treat characters or their actors as though they are real individuals. I don't just mean in a kind of fun way like speculating what Spiderman or Elsa would eat for breakfast but like they are real people that they have a real relationship with.

Maybe it's like those people that humanise their dogs, they struggle to relate to other people and a parasocial relationship with Mickey Mouse or Winnie the Pooh suits them better.

Bonkers or what?!

Autism is a communication disability - these people aren’t “off” - they are disabled.

Why do you think they give a single shit about how seriously you take them?

I suppose that's very tricky when people with this disability also try to form reciprocal relationships if they find that they can't maintain the two way part and so revert to focusing mostly on the parasocial ones that won't demand anything of them. That's a tricky one and it certainly doesn't help to sneer at people that didn't realise that they were marrying someone with this issue either.

That's not the point of OP's thread.

We're expressing opinions about adults who are obsessed with Disney. We're allowed to do that.

You have introduced the question of autism - I'm not discussing autism, and I don't think many other pps are.

Actually, if you read the thread, you'd realise that the OP has a son with a autism and that she strongly suspects her ex has it as well.

So no, it wasn't me introducing the question of autism at all.

This isn't much different to how people have treated soap opera characters for years.

I’m just being nosy but would you have said he was an intelligent man despite all this stuff?

The replies to this thread are so interesting, mostly because they illustrate so strongly what social pressure and group think do to a lot of people: they categorise people into binary boxes - acceptable and not acceptable, based on some sort of projected collective idea. It’s really fascinating.

I mostly feel sorry for people who need to consult some sort of community agreed handbook before they decide whether they will like something or not. It seems like it must be a really joyless way to live life. It’s like checking whether your preferred decor or car fits in with neighbourhood ‘vibe’ before you get it. There’s a distinctive ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ vibe about it, a weird snobbishness. Copy/paste Argos catalogue interests and hobbies. My god, how dull.

It’s weird because at times he seems really clever. His language in particular I notice he’s better at knowing meaning of words, spellings etc than me. He’s creative too. Great at art etc.

but… he is really very gullible and has Been scammed many times. Or gotten himself in hot water by believing something to be true that is clearly not. He likes to believe that everyone is good. His family members are exactly the same. He doesn’t join in well with conversations outside his area and often brings back serious subjects to Disney or other interests. He has a really really really bad memory. And will repeat stories or forget if he has done certain tasks or forget items he needs to buy.

he seems bored of life outside these interests too and often seems sleepy with others, only perking up when discussing his stuff.

Aren't most hobbies disassociating from real life? They are an escape and a chance to relax / do something different from the every day.

Disney is just another escape. A harmless hobby. A lot of hobbies could be argued as reverting back to an interest in childhood eg. lego, toy trains. The list is endless.

I don’t like Disney.

I bit my tongue when my children were small and didn’t spoil their enjoyment.

if I met an adult who adores Disney I’d be polite and respectful and wouldn’t criticise.

But here it’s an anonymous discussion and we can speak our minds. Of course we judge people who like things we hate - i can’t bear I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here because I think it’s cruel and disrespectful to animals and nature. I judge and don’t care who knows!

We’re allowed opinions.

There was nothing in my comment that suggested you couldn’t have an opinion.