Disney loving men

[Farrows1]

What are you thoughts on Disney loving men? It’s one of the things that contributed to my divorce I would say. Am I wrong here?

his obsession really got out of control in the end and it Really put me off. He was spending money on this hobby. A middle aged man tweeting about princess movies and obsessing over Mickey Mouse. He’s into other stuff that is similar but would be too outing to discuss. When he likes something he REALLY likes it.

we do have kids that show a moderate interest in Disney, I would say a normal level for kids. they are actually older and kinda moving away from it now anyway.

would this put you off? Or was I unreasonable?

I think if your marriage is ovee it’s best to focus on the future, not focus on his faults and going over and over it

No not logical at all because Friends was a series about adults for adults whereas Disney movies are for kids Are you aged 55 wearing an Elsa t-shirt by any chance 🤣

You said you had been accepting it for twenty years. Therefore you have found out and stayed with him.

So yes, it is about backbone.

His interests aren’t the problem here.

I do think younger generations of women are more tolerant of men with niche interests/hobbies than Gen X are/were. Certainly being a nerd in the 90s made you pretty much undateable unless you had supreme self-confidence, which I suspect a lot of us didn't.

However, that's largely beside the point here - the OP's partner's obsession are clearly trumping his responsibilities, which is certainly problematic.

Absolutely awful! YANBU. Horrific on every level. Makes me shudder just thinking about it..!

No @Mooselanderyou are completely wrong I’m afraid. When he met me I spent all my money on nice shoes, clothes and cocktails and spa weekends! Now have kids I spend money on violin lessons and Clarks school shoes 🤣 people change people grow

OP I understand that you're hurt and confused by your relationship with your DH and this is understandable and valid. However what you're describing runs way deeper than a Disney obsession and I think you know that. The Disney quirk is the symptom not the disease and you've latched onto it as something tangiable that you can be angry about. However owning a bit of Disney merch and even talking about it obsessively on the internet doesn't in itself make an emotionally stunted, irresponsible partner. It's really mean spirited of people to suggest that anyone who owns anything 'childish' or who still finds joy in these things is weird/creepy/had a disturbing childhood. The clincher I think is in whether they can function as a responsible adult as well and whether their hobby takes priority over the real world, especially their own children.

My hubby and I both have quirky interests. I love HP. I recently seeked out a specific mug that had sold out in the Disney store on ebay because I loved it that much. I'm as excited as my kid to kit the house out in nightmare before Christmas merch at Halloween and listen to the new HP audiobook series. My hubby loves Marvel and retro computer games. However we are both pretty responsible with money, we don't dictate our children's hobbies and interests around our own and can parent and have adult relationships and other interests completely outside of these hobbies. That's the difference. I'm therefore not going to let some internet snobs tell me I'm a freak just because I can still see the joy in something that they can't.

So you gave up your hobbies and interests and you think he should have too?

That isn’t healthy. Adults, whatever the age, should have hobbies and interests. You should not be making your entire life about your kids.

Meh, I'd rather be 55 and wearing something that makes me happy than 55 and conforming to what society has decided is acceptable.

I find it really weird that so many people on here are so openly intolerant of what other adults do in their free time.

@Mooselander buying high heels and nice bags is not really a hobby. Certainly not one I can afford in the current situation. I do not do that anymore. As I say, I have kids and they need food and clothes.

I personally find those plastic figures with a big head a massive waste of money. He would happily spend a weeks food shop on a doll. I just can’t justify.

at the end of the day we are not right for each other as I find this stuff gives me the ick. And it seems others do too.

You’re not right for each other because he’s a cheat and you put up with it, and are now embarrassed and ashamed of that so are diverting your attention to being angry at his interests.

I didn’t “put up with it” hence the divorce.

haha! Read the thread.

why did he cheat? I wasn’t giving him what he wanted, he was bored? He went elsewhere… to people that gave him what he wanted and chatted about his hobbies. Attraction literally died as his interest in Disney grew. He went elsewhere as many men do in this situation.

I think it might be hitting a nerve as some people will never be able to afford to go to Disney. People are aware that the families traveling to Disney spend tens of thousands on a single trip. Why would it be so controversial otherwise and cause so many extreme reactions? They won’t admit it though and they will tell you that an adult wearing a T-shirt with Dumbo on it is the issue.

You speak like your opinions are facts.

We are all entitled to share our opinion on a public forum, however when the OP has told you, on a number of occasions, that you are incorrect it may be time to give it a rest.

But it’s not the fact it’s Disney though is it? It’s the obsession that has caused this. What if he was obsessed with classic mini coopers? And remortgaged your house to buy 2 of them. Then cluttered up your drive and road with them? And had an affair with a fellow Mini Cooper enthusiast? That’s the issue surely?

@Ankooey in some ways you are right. But I guess I think that the hobby is a bit ick for an adult male. Personally I would have preferred he was into running or mini coopers or Chelsea football club. Yes it likely would have still resulted in divorce but perhaps not. The ick factor and incompatibility did not help in this case.

its a bit creepy in a japanese obsession with schoolgirls way

yanbu

I would have found that cringey on a grown woman or man, but having been to Orlando with the kids I can tell you there are a lot of people obsessed with Disney.

Definitely not somewhere I'd go without children or be interested in. All the queuing and fast passes and stuff is exhausting and I needed a holiday after it. Its odd to me whether it be an adult female or male tbh.

I highly doubt it. A lot of people go to Disney who can't afford it and put it all on credit cards, you read threads about it on here all the time.

I'd be interested in what the mumsnet approved list of hobbies and interests is. It seems to me very few women on here have anything in their lives other than children and housework.

@helpfulperson you might be right. Mine have been severely limited over the years because my ex took up all the money and time. If ever I said I’m going out for xyz he would follow up with “great you should and since you are doing that, I’ll go out and do Xxx the following weekend”

What?? That's a bit of a sweeping statement.
Why are these so many hobby boards on here then? The book and TV ones always seem busy, imagine others are too.